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Ok, let's start with some background:
About 15 months ago, I (American) started working at the American division of a rather large Japanese company. I was working in the JOEM department and loving it. I've always admired many aspects of Japanese culture and I was experiencing a lot of it in person through my co-workers (ex pats). Anyways, maybe 4 months after I started working there a Japanese woman started working there as well that I immediately liked (as a friend at first) as soon as I met her. She had previously lived in CA (we are now in MI) for five years, and I had also grown up there until a couple of years ago. She also has a degree (from Japan) in English Literature, so these two combined means she is very fluent in English and American customs/traditions. Also as a reference, I am 31 and she is 35 (30 and 34 when we met).
This was in January of 2013. After a few months went by, we started talking a little more and doing some activities together. Oh, I should also mention that she is Presbyterian and I am roughly the same. I know this is unusual for most Japanese, and may be why she felt more comfortable around me when she found out that we shared the same faith. Anyways, we both felt comfortable around each other and I found out pretty fast that I was feeling much more than friends. We both worked our butts off since we were working in JOEM and they keep the Japanese work schedule (my boss was Japanese as well), so we could only hang out or travel on the weekends. She has a lot of friends so she wasn't always available every weekend (no big thing I understand that).
I think it was in July that she was talking to me about her concerns with her work visa and her application for a green card. I texted her later that there was another way to get a green card (that was a bad lead in I realized later), and that I really liked her as more than a friend. She talked to me later in person saying that she was surprised about my text and that she hadn't thought like that until I had mentioned it. She didn't shoot me down, but said she wanted to stay as friends for the moment and see where the relationship went naturally.
That's really exactly how I felt (I'm slow geared) so I was very happy with that. Fast forward a few more months to the beginning of September. We had spent a lot more time together, and even gone on an overnight trip together (separate rooms). I was about to burst with my feelings at this point and I know not to be too direct so I sat down and wrote her a long (not too long) meaningful letter and let her know very clearly how much I cared about her and how happy I was when I was with her. I left the letter at her door (we live in the same apartment complex - she moved here after she found out I lived there but not a "thing" I don't think). Later that night, she texted me and asked if I would like some of the Japanese curry she had made that night. She brought it over (I met her outside), and told me she really liked my letter and that no one had ever written her a letter like that. However, she "still felt like friends." I told her no problem, and that if we were more than friend in the future or remained just friends I would be ok with that.
After that, I switched jobs to a better situation/company for me (same area). We were both still working long hours and we ended up having a break for probably a month and a half. Out of nowhere, she texted me and asked if we could meet for a few drinks. We ended up having dinner and drinks on a Friday night, and just chatting about work and other topics we have in common. She confided in me that she was really stressed at work and I was the only one she could confide/complain in (I know that's at least partly because I'm not Japanese and I know all of her Japanese co-workers from when I worked there).
After that, we picked up on our activities/dates again. Oh, I should also mention that I always pay for everything and I've taken her horseback riding (first time for her), festivals, concerts, movies, dinner etc. Always one on one so basically dating.
On her birthday, I asked her manager if she could have a half day off work without telling her. He's also Japanese, knows me, and knows how I feel about her so he was glad to help out. I surprised her at work, and took her to a very nice day spa for a facial/massage. She loved it. She also invited me to her birthday dinner with one of her friends.
Then, 8 days later I had my birthday and she came to dinner with me. She seemed to have a great time.
I should also mention we go to church together as much as possible (work creeps into weekends sometimes for one or both of us).
Ok, now for more recently. Before Thanksgiving, I found out that she was only planning on doing some shopping on her own for the break. I asked her if she would like to go back with me to visit my parents on Thanksgiving, and she said yes (I was kind of shocked, in a good way). That worked out well and she had a nice time. Oh yeah, I should mention that previously she had her parents visit from Japan and she invited me to dinner with them while they were here. Bottom line, we've even met each other's parents.
After Thanksgiving, I texted her thanking her for coming with me and asking her if she'd like to get lunch sometime during the rest of the holiday. She countered with dinner and a movie, so I countered back with sure, and why not go ice skating? We went ice skating which she hadn't been in forever and loved. I was better than she was so I casually held her hand as we got on the ice and she kept it pretty much the whole time. Even after she got better and was able to skate without help, I asked if she wanted to practice or keep holding my hand and she wanted to hold it. She also mentioned how she needed to get good at skating so she could teach her kids someday. It was pretty clear she was feeling me out on the subject (I gave her a good response :) ) Dinner and a movie were also as good as usual. That same night, she asked that we go skating again which we will this coming weekend.
Ok, now for this past weekend. On Saturday, she asked me to go to a meet up event with some other people for a Christmas festival of sorts in the city. It was very fun, and we met some new interesting people. At the end, we all went to dinner and of course one of the other girls asked the two of us if we were dating. I was sure she would say we were just friends, but when we looked at each other she stayed quiet and obviously wanted me to take the lead. I said that basically we are friends "for now." The other girl jumped on that and teased that we had to invite her to our wedding. Without batting an eyelash, she (my friend)turned to the other girl and straight up said "if we give you an invite to our wedding, it would be all the way in CA." My jaw virtually hit the ground! She was half joking, but half serious. She also pretty much agreed that we were dating when pressed further.
Finally, yesterday we were returning home from a Toastmaster's meeting (something else we do together), and she for the first time ever invited me up to her apartment for dinner. I gladly accepted, she cooked for me, and we sat close on the couch and chatted for quite awhile. She was obviously nervous so I put her at ease as much as possible and ended the evening with just a hug (also a first). After skating next weekend I'm going to make her dinner as well at my apartment (a third first).
Sorry for the wall of text!! I would very much like to get some feedback on what you think she is feeling. Still just friends? Moving along towards more than friends? She is giving me an obvious green light now? She means the world to me, but I don't want to throw things into next gear too fast. I have been steadily and gently pushing this whole time as the guy (gotta take that lead, I know). Just not sure if she wants me to step it up now or not.
If you need more details, ask away. And thanks!
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