Convincing Mom for Exchange. Suggestions?

Whether you have gone through this or not, all suggestions are appreciated.

I am trying to convince my mom to let me go on a high school exchange trip to Japan for semester. I told her about it and she seemed a little worried (and I expected that).

She asked how I would live and I told her about host families and everything. She mentioned she would feel more comfortable with me going if I was going with a friend. So I told her most exchange programs that I know of don't allow you to go with friends.

So she told me to get more info on it but I think she has the idea I won't be able to handle it.

Any ideas what I could tell her to make her feel less worried about the whole idea?

How old are you?

I am 18.

It's been a while for me, but aren't most 18-year-olds already out of high school? You're an adult (at least in America) and unless it's for financial reasons, your mother's convincing isn't necessary is it?

I may be missing something here.

Well, to me she doesn't seem to be saying anything strange. She would probably say the same thing to a friend.

Does't the organisation of your program do briefing sessions that parents can participate in, or don't they at least talk to family members who are concerned?

I think your mother has every right to be concerned if there is not enough information about it. Get all the information you can including how real people can serve your family.

In fact, there are even fake organisations out there too, so you yourself should collect as much information as you can.

Well, it might help if you explained the types of concerns your mother has.

Worried about physical dangers?
Worried about you feeling alienated?
Worried about the temptation of alcohol, women, and drugs?
Worried about getting caught up in gangs?
Worried about you drag racing in parking garages?
Worried about you running out of money and starving?

News and popular culture create a lot of perceptions that are not necessarily true. But in every society there are elements from which kids (yes, 18yo is still a kid) need to be protected.

Why not have your mother list her top 5 biggest worries and address them?

You're an adult (at least in America) and unless it's for financial reasons, your mother's convincing isn't necessary is it?

He would be a minor in Japan so maybe her permission is required.

You're an adult (at least in America) and unless it's for financial reasons, your mother's convincing isn't necessary is it?

Well, I just saw the movie "Boyhood" which is set in the U.S., and the mother seemed quite concerned about what her pre-college son would be doing with whom when he makes a visit to his future college dorm, so I suppose concerns and responsibilities are same between Japan and the U.S. as far as that sort of things are concerned.

To be precise, as it was with the mother in the movie, she can't watch over him every minute, but still she owes the duty to give strict advise on the dos and don'ts to a "minor".

found tons of videos on yo-u-tu-be when searching "student exchange japan", maybe you could find some to convince your mom about life in Japan as an exchange student

Years ago, well before internet and cell phones, I did a 3 months student exchange. Not in Japan but in Finland. I had no clues about the Finnish language, couldn't find a guidebook about the country etc.

That student exchange program was done through my school, so it was OK for my parents. Not that the school helped me a lot...
The principal mentioned the program, asked who was interested (I was the only one..), then gave me the address of the organization.

I wrote to them, they sent me a long questionnaire and eventually I got an official letter telling me where in Finland I would go etc. (I would be like going to Kobe after landing in Tokyo).

I had already traveled to a couple of foreign countries in Europe, but always with a group of pilgrims going to this or that famous Catholic shrine.
My family is Protestant but these trips were 90% sightseeing, 10% going to a shrine..

My parents let me go..I had the greatest time of my life...
On the other hand they wouldn't have allowed my brother to go..
He was a great kid but much more reckless than me (jump first then wonder if it is a good idea..) and he assumed that anyone that smiled at him was honest and decent...

Hi Kevin, invite your mom to visit the association that organizes the program.
My son is leaving in 2 months for Japan with the association AFS
They are very well organized and after a first moment of worry, after talking personally with the people in charge of the program, I was completely convinced.
It's an amazing experience and a great opportunity!
Good luck!

I'm 47 and my mother worried when I told her I was coming on holiday here. It's what mothers do.

Tell her that Japan is the safest place on the planet. Safer than Europe, and certainly safer than the US.

It's the distance that worries her-she can't pluck you back to safety. And the fear that you will meet a girl and settle in a distant country.

Man up, and gently tell her that you are 18, which is an adult, and you'd really like her to support you in making a gutsy, mature and daring decision that will give you an amazing experience, sure to stay with you for the rest of your life. Tell her you'll phone, skype etc, and then give her a hug.

You'll be fine, and so will she (after a few tears).

Go for it.