does japanese lady go bath when menses come?

I am a foreigner married a japanese guy n stay with his family in japan.
As there are some culture difference.
I would like to ask japanese especially those japanese wifes who stay with their in laws to help me clear my doubts.
1. Is it normal the japanese family share the same bath water ?.. I m really surprise his family does it. Does the japanese lady who need stay w her husband s family also share the same bath water with his family?

2. Does japanese lady go ofuro.. bath when memses come?.. my husband s sister went... I really find it disgusting.. although she tried to be the last to use the bathroom.
I really dono is it abnormal for his family to do it or it s normal practice for japanese ladies....
I m really mood over it.
any japanese lady can answer me?

I don't know where you are from, but some countries, or families, simply have different customs and habits :)

OK, I am not living with my in-laws, only lived with my own parents, so things might be different, but:

1. Yes, a family shares the same bath water. People wash their bodies "first" outside the tub, then soak in the tub water to relax.

2. Within the same family, yes, we do. Some women might just wash themselves outside the tub, splash some tub water over their bodies, take a shower, and might leave at that. Others, while taking care like your sister-in-law did, to be the last to use the bath water, might use the tub water, while keeping their thighs tightly closed.

From a Japanese woman. (No "jap" woman, please.)

My mother in law and I love going to the onsen together but every time I have said I can't go for that reason she said no problem. And it didn't seem to be strange to her. Also 1 friend (Japanese) didn't join a group of us at a Ryokan onsen for that reason.

Yes we use the same bath water. I wasn't really bothered by it because 1. We are clean before getting into the tub and 2. You have never done a spa party with friends? Is that just my country? Our bath is cleaned every day, people are clean before entering.. don't really see a problem.

Oh I forgot to add that I only shower at home if it's that time. Unless I'm last in line and will be emptying and cleaning the bath afterwards.

Thanks for answering my questions.
1. Sharing same bath tub water.. I m not use to it. I dont mind sharing same bath tub water w my japanese husband or our future kids but I dont like the idea of sharing w my father in law, his sister etc.

2. So it s actually quite normal to use the bath tub even when menses come..
so I shouldnt ask my husband to stop her from taking bath?..but she didnt clean it after used..
There s one time I need to wash . Before I removed the stopper.. I realised that water was very dirty... then I realised his sister having menses .. that s the reason.. water s so dirty...
My husband already told her not to go ofuro when menses come. She agreed.. but recently she start again...
I am really unhappy with it... but dono how ...

I do not get married, but are living with parents.
At that time, I always last to take a bath.
That way, it is possible to clean the bathtub yourself.
Since the drainage ditch also dirty, I clean with tissue.
If you may not enter the tub, there is also a method that uses only shower.
If you only stay one day it might be good to refuse not take a bath, and so not very good physical condition.
Also, I do not as much as possible to go to the hot springs at that time.
If you even stayed such as Inns, enter the the bathtub of room.
Some people, it seems also can shift the time in medicine.
When I speak to her mother, even or say "Are" I do not say that "memses"(seiri).
Although the word is not a direct, nuance lead.
A place men have is, I will not be such talk as much as possible.

1. I've lived here a long time and am used to sharing bath water, but I like to go first... not because of any cleanliness issue, but because I'm pretty small so when everyone else goes in a lot of water goes out! If it bothers you, ask to go first. And I don't know if you re-use the water or not, but if you do, just add a little clean water to bring the level back up.

2. I use the bath at this time, but its just me and my husband, and I wash well before entering. I don't think you should stop her from going in, just ask her to go last. Make sure the bathtub is rinsed/cleaned afterward too (but you should be doing that every time anyway).

People have different opinions about public baths at that time. I'm not Japanese so I can't comment on etiquette here, and people have given me different answers.

Using the same bath water saves a lot of water and electricity. If every person took their own bath, it is a huge waste of water and gas to heat the bath. I think the Western way is gross... washing yourself IN the bath then sitting in that dirty water?! Ugh. No thanks. Give me Japanese style any day!

Thanks for your opinon.
she s not washing the bathtub even when menses come. Sigh.. really dont like staying with her... need to resolve it myself.. thanks.

Apparently things can feel quite different between your own immediate family and and extended - meaning including in-laws - family.

The issue here seems to be that your sister-in-law probably considers the house as HERS, and continues to just live as she has been all the time. Maybe you might have to get your husband to gently ask her to be a bit more considerate, now that you are living there too? Since the topic is a bit sensitive one, you might have to get him to talk to his mother (your mother-in-law) and then to the sister. Just letting them know that you come from a different culture and are not used to sharing bathwater to begin with...

His mother passed away when his sister was 10yrs old... n obviously his father doted her too much...
My husband already told her not to go bath when menses come. ..
It wasnt nice to pop the topic again since we still need to stay together long time... sigh...

This is the information of the Japanese, but seems to have various ideas of people in Japanese.
http://komachi.yomiuri.co.jp/t/2010/0131/291729.htm?o=0&p=2
Since the winter is cold, I think that it is not warm If you do not enter the bath even during menstruation.
By the Menstrual cup or tampons seem Some people take a bath.

Sorry to hear of the situation.

Ummm. I think then you would simply need to show it by acting - draining the bathwater and cleaning the tub after she's used it (during that time, I mean). Start with fresh bathwater for yourself. That would show everyone else how much it bothers you...

I cant... that will be kind of rude. ..
I try to endure then... see how it goes whem her next menses come again...
Yes. She s behaving the house s hers. Frankly speaking.. I m the intruder.. but..
..
Anyway. I seldom use the bath tub. Unless will be the first n sharing w my hubby..
..
My hubby understand I dont want to wash the bath tub so he s doing this job instead of me.
But I dont like the idea of him helping to wash the bath tub especially dirty by his sis.

If sharing the bath water bothers you, why don't you just shower? And if your sis-in law uses a Tampax, I don't see what the problem is.

Sharing bath water is 100% normal in Japan. You should get used it if you want to blend in.

Ya.. thanks for your advice..

I live with my wife, my daughter, wife's parents, her older brother and his wife. We take a bath everyday. I'm the last one always (I'm hairy lol).

Father in law is very elderly, he doesn't take a bath often (just a quick shower sometimes). We have a general order of : parents first. Then my wife and daughter. Sister in law next. Brother in law. Then me.

My wife and sister in law do not enter the tub, ever, when they have their period. This has never been an issue. There has never been any conversation about this. It's not like I know for sure when my sister in law has her period, just I can guess because she avoids entering the bath for several days (in our house there is another small room with just a shower and no bathtub so people can take just a shower in there).

It seems that you simply have a strange or rude sister inlaw. It's a common courtesy to avoid entering the tub when menstruating. Either that, or go last (and then wash out the tub and prepare it for the next day).

So, in summary: yes, it is definitely the norm to share bath water here, even in a large family. No, it is not normal for a girl on her period to enter the bath when she knows that others will enter after her. Yes, it's okay for her to enter if she's last or maybe near the end of the cycle and having only a very slight discharge. There is a tremendous amount of water in these bathtubs and just a tiny amount isn't likely to make the water dirty.

P.S. are you sure that the "dirty" water you saw is from her menstrual discharge? I think it would take quite a bit to make the water so dirty that you could clearly and easily identify it. Is it possible that the family members are adding something to the water that changed it's color?

I mention this because one day, when I was very newly living with the family here, I went to take a bath. I opened the cover and nearly jumped out of my skin, the water was a light reddish/brownish color and my initial thought was GROSS WTF! Only to find out that some kind of relaxing powder had been added to the bath. I honestly think it would take quite a bit of "dirtiness" to foul up the water so much that you could see it clearly, and there is no way that I would ever enter such water.

Thanks for sharing.

Ha.but I am sure it was dirty by that.. most likely was the first few days of her period.
..
yes. I should blend in the custom of sharing the bath water... n should ask my hubby to tell her to wash after use.

You should be disgusted. Just like if you have menses, you won't go swimming right? This is common sense and personal hygiene. I'm shocked that this is coming from a Japanese lady, but it could come from anyone.