Do Japanese say "I Love You"?

Wow! I didn't read the whole thread, but I was surprised 2 sea ppl still postin after 2 years! I am barely starting 2 take japanese classes, and this question was in my mind and this forum really helped me. As for my input I really believe it's just up to each individual. We all have our own different ways of doing things, and it's not cuz of our nationality, but it's jus who we are. Some people need the assurance of hearing the words "I love you." If you are that person then find someone who will say it b4 you decide 2 get married. If you can live without then great! Just never be dishonest and say it if you don't meant it. That's just wrong. Well thanks for the help everyone. Off the subject I'm looking for someone I that can help me wit japanese in their free time. Thanks a lot!!

Hi everyone
I read all the posts with interest. And I would like to say this that sometimes just because people keep telling you "I love you", it does not mean that they really do. After being married to an abusive guy who also frequently lies to me and hides things from me but yet tells me "I love you" in his nice moments, frankly speaking, I cannot feel the power of those words. At the same time, when I think back of a japanese boyfriend I had, he was always kind and caring to me but rarely told me he loved me. I think he showed me his love in other ways but still I left him because he did not propose marriage to me and I didnt see how our relationship would go. I have a new question for you- do japanese men rarely propose marriage or do they wait for very long before they decide to marry? I do feel that love is very important in a relationship but more than just expressive love, I think "love in action" is more beautiful and precious.

I also had the same experience relating to the start of this e-mail. My girlfriend is Japanese & she gets very coy about saying I Love U! Think it's just a culture thing. If anyone is still using the thread can you try to read a note in Japanese for me?

Yes, they say "I love you". Like in any country in the 21 century love is showed by the words "I love you". In Japanese "ai siteiru" or "dai suki".
If she or he does not say it means... communication problem, no love problem.

Ton

um..as I saw to now..I used to have japanese gf for a while, she never said me I love you, even I said her so much times..
and I have other japanese friends.. one of that girls said me I love you..
maybe sometimes and depends from the person..

If she or he does not say it means... communication problem, no love problem.

As mentioned hundreds of times in this thread, many Japanese people don't use the words "I love you", "suki", "daisuki" or "aishiteru" towards their partners, even though they love their partners. It is shown with different expressions and in different ways. Especially among the older generations.

I am married to a non-Japanese man and say I love you often. What's the big deal?

I can say "I love you" in English repeatedly. But, I doesn't want to say "Aishiteru" in Japanese lightly.

Some people find these expressions unnatural, cheezy or embarrassing and prefer a less direct way to express their love. I think everybody has his/her personal preferences.

well my mom is japanese and says that alot of japanese people dont show effection unless they are younger.But japanese people do say i love you because i heard my mom say it to my dad when he was in the hospital. She said that so people feel embarassed to say "I love you" but they do say it.
P.S. if my mom didn't say i love you to my dad then i wouldn't have 2 brothers ans 1 sister!

I've been following this thread for some time, and I must say I've impressed by the information I've gathered from here. I wonder if anyone could advise me on my problem? I'm actually a 23 year old student and my Japanese "boyfriend" in question is... my 37 year old teacher. I wasn't the one who liked him first, he liked me. He never told me he loved me, but he used to take me home after school, give me little things, look at me when he thought I wasn't looking, write me mushy e-mail etc. He would become very happy when I was happy and withdrawn when I was upset. I suppose this is the way the Japanese show love and I thought I fully understood it. In fact it was these little things that made me love him.

Not long ago I finally told him I like him. He said "watashi mo suki desu", which made me very happy... however, as I waited for some sort of follow up -- I expected him to call me, or ask me out -- there was nothing. Strangely too, when I message him now, he gives rather short replies. He also doesn't take the initiative to e-mail or message me, and I feel shy for pestering him all the time.

I am confused because I am not sure if he likes me any more. It's strange to say it on this thread but... now that he has said IT, he is not really doing much about it. Is it because older Japanese men are shy abt e-mailing and msging their girlfriends, or is it something else? How do the older Japanese show their affection?

Oh yes, I forgot to mention two things:

- I know he likes me because he once took me out on a date. That was in the beginning of our relationship. I hadn't expected my own teacher to love me so I rejected him. But he was so kind and took it so well that I changed my mind.

- He did use to send romantic and rather frank e-mails in the past but not any more.

Thanks!

Ton: actually it's aishiteru.

And yes, they do say "i love you". At least my girlfriend does..

I do understand why some Japanese poepl won't say aishiteru, or at least so lightly. Here in Miami, Fl of USA. People say I love you but truly dont understand the word. It does get trown around a lot, and wasted. I am a 22year old student male, very unique from the society in Miami. I takes so much to understand, appriciate, and feel those words "I love you" or word, "aishiteru". I lvoe my girlfriend. And i mean i truly love you. let me explain. I have told her that i will be with her for ever, for all of eturnity. I have told her that i love her with all my heart, life, spirit, mind, body, and everything the makes me, me. When i told her that, i meant exactly, and literally that. I have made my hcoice, and it is her. I also understand what that means, I have even told god and have told him the same thing, with the outmost respect of course. my love for her is unlimitted and undying. She is my life, my world, my heaven. and much, much more. I truly feel, mean, and understand that, it is my choice, and i have made it so. In making that choice, i have given her my outmost respect, i have given her my heart and life, so if she we to be departed from this earth, i would be with her, in everyway. It has taken an extreme amount of understanding, enlighment, trust, bravery, courage, and love in order to do this. i understand why it is so hard to say "aishiteru". It is a choice that one must make with there very essence and a bond that can never break. Making that choice can bring the most severe Consequences if the other person throws your heart away. thats why most people are too afriad to make such a risk, but i made that risk knowingly and with faith. no matter what pains, deaths,suffering that i may ever face. It takes a lot. Good news is that when ever it gets done, the result are enourmusly wonderful. You can feel each other emotion, spirits, hearts, literatly. It opens the passage to understand one another to inhuman lengths. You can read each other thoughs, and much, much more. I do say aishiteru to my love. and i say it with all of my fiath and bravery.
That is my answer. I apologize for making it confusing or difficult,just in case. ;) lol.

I found how enriching "I love you" can be for you and her in your culture world. However, why do people want to check the love almost every day, in around your world? Why doubt the love of each other? I guess that gaijin might not be able to understand heart-to-heart communication(or nonverbal communication) which is unique to us Japanese.

I guess that gaijin might not be able to understand heart-to-heart communication(or nonverbal communication) which is unique to us Japanese.

No, nonverbal (heart-to-heart) communication is certainly not unique to the Japanese!!! Nonverbal communication is used around the world by all cultures, but like with the spoken language, there are differences between the cultures. Like with spoken language, nonverbal language has to be learnt. That is why Japanese nonverbal language is not always understood by gaijin and the other way around.

However, generally speaking, I believe, nonverbal communication is much more important in Japan than in the societies of today's English speaking countries.

My japanese wife has no problem telling me she loves me. But she does seem to say it less than I do and that actually makes it a little more "special" when she does.
You make a good point about the non-verbal communications. That is one cross-cultural problem with us. She does not understand why I don't understand her or her mood sometimes, or why I don't automatically do certain things. Based on our discussions, it is the non-verbal communication that is part of Japanese culture that I did not pick up on. But I think it will come with time, all relationships take time to get used to one another.

what i was trying to explain in my first posting was the significance of what aishiteru means to the Japanese people, my girlsfriend and me communicate our love in all manners, especially non-verbally, ussualy with the eyes, and senses. It's just we both are very affectionate and we both also express it with words. I do understand the japanese, it's just it's not only in culture but on the people, or better said, the couple. Once the couple achieve that high level of love, or true understanding, true love, ect.. they can say aishiteru. I have meet couples who express their love non-verbal. Theres an unlimited of forms or ways in showing affection. I try to show it in all forms as possible. thats all.

Once the couple achieve that high level of love, or true understanding, true love, ect.. they can say aishiteru.

Other people may say:
... then they don't need to say aishiteru anymore.

Japanese doesn't say Ilove you". I divorsed with a japanese nationla .I in our living period she never said me I love you . But she said me that suki dayo , aisiteru yo . I don't think that necessary to say I love you . It only western culture . Japanese have theirs won culture they must get use theirs won mother language and feelings .