Do Japanese say "I Love You"?

i think japanese do say i love but in their own way
like others do

She(a same native-born Japanese as me) and I murmur under each breath to each other on several occasions, "Suki dakara". But we have never said to each other, "Aishiteru". At first "Suki" came into use as the word for our friendship. But, as the years rolled by, we both found a place in each other heart. And after that, "Suki" began having a profound meaning. We both nowadays don't so much say even "Suki". I feel it's because our relation changed from "Koi" to "Ai(Love)", and because we know our places. Generically, "Suki" and "Aishiteru" are common expressions of personal feelings, but I think "Aishiteru" has a strong force which binds other person and it's also a responsible word. Perhaps, she also think like that because we both have similar characteristics. This may be a very strange idea for you gaijins, though. We both are going to develop close relationship of mutual trust and respect of more than now. And I someday will tell to her, "Aishiteru", and I want to tell to her, "Arigatou".

...
Once the couple achieve that high level of love, or true understanding, true love, ect.. they can say aishiteru.
Other people may say:
... then they don't need to say aishiteru anymore.


You have a good point, i do agree with you, at that stage there really is know need to say it, because it is constantly being shown and felt, lol, it's just my first time writing in a forum and i was trying my best to answer the question in a manner that would allow people from the US 4 ex. to understand the japanese, then again i myself am american B/C i was born here and grew up here but i follow my own way, anyways, like i said, i was just trying to explain that. You are correct though on your comment. I agree with you.

Love is a unique thing that happens between two people. Love is not about ethicity or where you're from or what language you speak. It's about affections, warmth, kindess, and something that brings two people close together.

In western society, couples often say, "I love you" to each other. In some countries, people don't often say "I love you" to each other. Well, it's okay because if you truly ove that person and want to be with them, and know their feelings, and know that this is the special person, then you already know its love. Of course, words are really strong. Still, communication through thoughts, feelings, and emotions to each other can be cool too as well because LOVE can be shown in any way possible. Words, gifts, and expressions are all part of expressing love. Love is always within people's hearts and no matter what, in their hearts people know that when they do love, they love and that they are in love and that they will always be loved and is loving each other.

Like I said, love can be shown in any way possible. Love is in songs, poems, and everywhere in our world.

Aishiteiru~!

I tried but i have to admit, i could not have said it better myself. Thank you :)

'kay i'm in highschool and me & my friends say i love you to eachother all the time. sometimes i think about it and i think how can you tell it apart now if someone really loves you or just as a friend? i think the word love is used to loosley in the U.S and japanese dont say i love you frequently because if you keep saying it it will lose its meaning. with a boyfrined or girlfriend (or whatever) you should be able to feel it instead of being so insecure about youre realtionship that you need to hear i love you all the time.

it also ocurred to me that if the person you love says i love you every once in a while don't worry about it -they love you and you need to be confident in that, but maybe you should take into consideration that if the person you love says i love you too much it might be a false love and they are trying to convince you or themselves that they do love you by saying it repeatedly.
- i'm sorry if that doesnt make sense.
-and you know i think the reason why this forum has been going on for 3 years now is because love is the most confusing thing amoung feelings and very hard to express and understand.
(-.-) sorry if this sounds kind of phycologist like,i'm only in highschool but i like to think about confusing difficulties alot and i develop my own philosophies hahaha.

The reason why Japanese don't say "I love you" is not becuase it looses the meaning if you repeat it. It is becuase after awhile we think there is no need to say it anymore as he/she knows he/she ie loved already. There are two ways of thinking. One is to keep on saying "I love you" becuase that is the truth. The other one is to stop saying it because it is so obvious that you don't even need to say it any more. Japanese belong to the latter group.

Interesting read on this forum...I have a Japanese girlfriend and I'm an emotional and slightly stubborn guy, but I think the boundaries of love shouldn't come from the nationality of the person but he person themselves. I've read that when two people love each other, they show it through their actions as well as words. When I finish a phone conversation with my girl, either one of us tells each other, "I love you" in English because it's the more spoken language between us. She justs likes to hear it from me, and I don't feel like I would be tired of saying it because it's our thing between lovers and partners. Everyone individual shows their love in emotional, mental and physical actions. I apologize for the long post but I think it's a little tired to say it's a Japanese thing and so forth...Love is a beautiful thing when you know and feel that it is being returned.

Even when I've practically been disaowned, I can still rest that I had nothing to do and stand on my own.

Thought I would add my part to this also...
My Japanese girlfriend also does not say I love you.
She used to say it a few times when we first started seeing each other but its a very rare thing now.
I asked her about this (rather than do nothing) and she says its because she is shy. I have accepted this somewhat
I am a emotional guy who likes to always hear such things for assurance and I always tell a gf how I feel. It's taking some getting used to with this current gf but I think I am dealing with it.
In emails she says love you or miss you etc.. so I am fairly sure its just because she is shy :)
Maybe your wife is the same.

you stole my heart

Hello I am sorry that everyone is having problems with hearing the words I love you from there Jhusbands or Jwife. I have been talking to a man in japan for over a year and this year I went to meet him and he is very sweet, On our first date he asked to hold my hand and asked to kiss me and before I left to come back to canada for that is were I am from but am wanting to move to japan for I love the country He did say I love you too me now I dont know if that is normal for a Jman but I truely feel he does and He loved hearing the words I love you come back from me to him.
I do hope that when people say the words I love you that they truly do mean them and I have been reading what others have been saying and I too am sorry for everyones pain but I do hope that everyone will hear I love you from there partner at least once for I know that if something were to happen to me tomorrow I would want the people I love to know that I love them and to hear me say it at least once.
If I am wrong in anything I have said please correct me for I am also new with dating a Jman and I do know that yes they are mysterious and depending on how you look at it , it can be a good thing or a bad thing.

To the high school kids that wrote the letter you are all great.

sherry

Did the guy say in english "I love you"?
I think it is easier to say in a foreign language than for him to say in Japanese. Now if he said he wants to meet each other's families or wants to marry, he is surely serious. He definitely has feelings for you but it is had to tell if it is real love or a crush.
In english the words "I love you can range from friendship and casual -"I love you, man"etc. to romantic love. If he said Aishiteru to you. then you know he must be serious.
Good luck to you.

Thank you for your response to my letter Umi. He did ask me that when my children are older would I marry and I said that I would. Now I am going to go back to Japan in 2009 and really wish I could go sooner but I cant. I do plan on moving to japan when my children are a little older to finish doing my Nursing. I really do Love this man and he has told me so many things about himself and I have watched many japanese people when I was there and found them to be rather fasicnating. I am not really the type to say I love you to anyone ither and I realize it must have taken alot of courage to say those words to me just as It took me a lot to say the words to him as well. I would like to know if all japanese men are that open about themselves to tell someone about there life and he knows that I have 2 children and has no problem with that fact. He also has taken me to a shrine before I had to come back home and explained what you do and gave me a good luck charm and said to keep it close to me. I felt very happy that he did this with me.
He was so happy when we met and I was also infact I cried when I had to come home for I didnt want too.

thanks again UMI

Umi you asked me if he said I love you in English and yes he did but also said in japanese as well, He said it just before I had to leave japan and he said he will soon see me again and now I dont know if it is normal for a Jman to promise something or not but he did promise me.

please let me know what you think Please.

He seems to be serious about you.Has he met your children? It is rare to find a guy who is ready to marry a woman with children and he seems ok with it so i think you have found a very good man! Have you met his family? If not, do they know about you? Is your guy independent? Hopefully his parents will like you and accept you. I think you should not worry. I think he does really love you from what you wrote.^_^

I am a Vietnamese young woman and am dating a Japanese man for the first time. In the beginning, he told me that he had never hugged, kissed, or told his parents or sister that he loved them and I didn't believe him. I now know that in his culture, love is expressed more than said. Initially in our relationship, he was not affectionate in public. We didn't hold hands or hug in public, but when we were alone he was the most affectionate man! I finally told him how I felt about a month later and things have reversed 100%. I told him how I felt and now he always grabs my hand first and hugs me all the time!! I think if a man truly loves you, he will go out of his way to make you happy. And that's what my man did. He's totally changed and now he tells me he loves me in the morning and all throughout the day! I'm so lucky to have found the perfect Japanese man.

If the person you 'love' lives elsewhere, other from where you live and only communicate by phone until a more convenient time, would it be appropriate to say I Love You?
He has said 'Aishiteru' to me, even though I am not Japanese, I am wondering if saying 'I love you' in a different language / long distance lessens the meaning?
Thank you!

Hey Claire!

That's funny! I (22 years old) have exactly the same problem!!
Luckily my boyfriend (also Japanese, 20 years old) lives only 90 minutes away from me, so we see each other almost every weekend and we also phone almost every day.

We met the first time in the middle of April and are seriously together for almost 7 weeks now. But already after the 3rd week he told me "Aishiteru" (after the 2nd week it was "Daisuki") and since then he says it every time we meet. I'm very happy that he says such a nice thing to me, but at the same time I wonder, why...

Is it, because we know each other already since middle of April and already developed a good friendship (also already with meeting almost every weekend), which became love later on, or what could be the real reason for why he is able to say "Aishiteru" so soon?

How is it with you Claire?
Since when have you and your boyfriend been together? How often can you meet?
Maybe we can give each other advice? ;)