Meeting my Japanese boyfriend

I read the newest replies to this thread some good hours ago.
As talking to HollyMoon, I said that I was not going to comment anymore. I feel its useless for the tone and style of some-not all- of some posters.

Actually, I live in a very dreamy wonderland. It happens to be true. But unlike the famous character of Alice, mine is true.

I had to play very hard to get it, and still I am trying to build it each single day. It requires lots of adaptability to a new culture, think in the un-conventional way. The opposite way of people thinking that a 30 years old man should not decide to chat and eventually meet his online friend. The opposite way of people who think that you HAVE to meet someone prior to call him your boyfriend.

I think that Holly's desire was to have a constructive, non judgemental confrontation with people who have experienced her same situation, not red flags, or assumptions regarding her parent behaviour.

Needless to say, there are many relationships with much bigger age gap than hers. My very first boyfriend had 27 years when i met him. i was 17.
we had been together for two years.
My mother knew about it and was supportive to it.
Can anyone dare to say that my mum is an irresponsible parent?

Reading Holly's reply I find myself agreeing with her.
Its goos many of view pointed out the "negativity" of what might happen.
It helps her to keep in mind to act wisely.

The sad part is that there are few of you who try to support her. It made me think that there must be many broken heart out there. People who warn her saying that he might not show up, or spending such big amount of money must mean something forcefully strange about him.
Then not so hidden assumptions about him wanting her for a physical meeting.

Isn' it just sad?

The negative possibilities have been stressed enough.

I live in my real wonderland. Yes, I do. I followed my own instinct, and here I am to say that everything is possible.

ppl aren't always honest on facebook.... http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catfish_(film)

Jane,

I assure you the vast majority of people would think that your mother was irresponsible. Depending on what you were doing at that age, it might even be illegal in some places.

ChicagoMike,

Well said, depending on what we were doing.

Luckily, our surroundings, respective families and friends were supportive. These days we are friends. He is married and we just happen to share nice memories and laugh about life.

I am glad to think that people around us acted in favour of it, not against.

And your father ? what is he thinking about that relationship ?

I am glad to think that people around us acted in favour of it, not against.

They acted in favour of it, because they knew it would lead to nowhere.

Hello everyone,

Just want to let everyone know that I met him a week ago and it was GREAT! It was the best week of my life and we've done a lot of fun things together.

It ''clicked'' very well and decided to continue dating eachother. I will be going to Japan and visiting him and he's parents in December/January.

I wanted to say thank you to Jane and others that helped supporting me and told me to not be afraid and meet up with him.. this was really the best decision of my entire life! :)

I know it's a bit late, but I just want to put in my two cents, too. I'm glad things worked out for you, and hope it continues to do so!
As for me, yeah, I believe in these romances and some people just don't. I know I do, and I am in one as well! I'll be going to Japan to see her in less than three weeks and I am very excited to see her! I'm 34 and she is 27, and we actually met here on this site. We did meet each other once in Hawaii, and she spent alot of money to be there for only three days. We spent time together and after getting to know each other, we knew we could advance in our relationship. Granted its been ten months now since we last seen each other, she made strides to even buy an iPhone just for me, since I have one and we use iMessage all the time now. :) we communicate everyday and always have time for each other. I'm not only going in less than three weeks, but I'm also going there for New Years to meet her family as well! Should everything go well between us, she will move here with me, where I promised her I will take great care of her. I'm very eager to not only visit her, but to experience their culture, too! Good luck with your relationship! I hope mine will turn out as good as yours is!!

That is great!! I hope you two will have a great time together! Don't let anyone discourage with the: long distance relationships wont work out.. or that kind of love doesn't exist.

It does exist and we are the living proof of it ^_^

When I met him at the airport i was very very nervous.. my legs were shaking and I didnt dare to look him in the eyes at all.. but that changed after a few hours talking. It suddenly felt as if we had met eachother any times.. haha ^_^

My boyfriend bought me a mobile when my old one broke down so that we could continue having contact trough phone.. also he wont let me pay for the trip to Japan.. sometimes I find it hard to accept all these things he gives me. It's he's way of showing that I can depend on him and that I dont hVe to worry.

I still have to get used to it.. sometimes I want to treat him aswel but he tells me: Your a student and I am a doctor.. I work for your sake.. and your sake only.

We are extremely happy together even though having to say goodbye and not seeing eachother for long periods of times do is hard and hurts I still find it worth it since I know that it will change in the soon future.

I wish you and your girlfriend loads of luck and happiness!

I am so glad that you updated us on what happened.
And also happy for you that everything turned well :)
You are one of the lucky ones~

HollyMoon-

We should get ahold of each other and talk about our adventures, if you'd like. Reason I ask is because there is no one that will be more excited about my story than the someone who is already experiencing it. :) I just feel like telling everybody, but like you stated, many people would rain on your parade and tell you it's foolish. I have all the faith in the world with my girlfriend, and even though I must admit I had many insecurities too, I overcame them and she was extremely patient with me and reassuring me that she has eyes only for me, like I do for her. :)
Like you, when met her in Hawaii, I, too, was nervous. I had gotten there the night before she did and when I waited for her, it was over an hour before she came out. She had friends there, and they were waiting also, but I didn't know who they were either. I then got even more nervous when I never seen her come out still. Did she really come, I was thinking? Then, it was as though as God made it this way: as I turned away for a moment, I had closed my eyes, and when I did, I heard her giggle from a distance (I spoke to her through Skype a few times before). I then smiled and said to myself, "That's her!" She saw me instantly, and smiled so big and gave me a hug and we were both very shy the first few hours, but we came out of our shells and began to talk and gotten closer. I even put my arms around her after I got brave enough (I'm the shy type) during the New Years fireworks display at Waikiki beach. The following day her friends let us be alone for a few hours and had a terrific time together and from there on, I knew she was the one for me! :D
It's hard right now for me to do anything for her except message her through our iPhones and talk on Skype at times, and I can tell her love for me is so pure and genuine. I truly am, the luckiest person to have her! I didn't mean it to turn it this way, because there was no intention of me trying to get a relationship through here. It just happened, and I'm glad it did!
Again, thanks so much for sharing that story! I'm also glad things are going real well for you two! I wish you and him nothing but the best!!

I am loving this!
I am so glad things went well with you HollyMoon. the best of luck in the future.
I am very curious, what is the website where you meet your boyfriend? ,maybe I am lucky too. :)
P.S. I am serious.

Here are 2 websites that can help you to get into contact with Japanese and Koreans :) I have made a lot of good friends trough these websites. Good luck!!

http://www.japan-guide.com/local/?aCAT=2
http://www.interpals.net/