The passing of a very beautiful daughter

My wife and I hosted a very beautiful 13 year old japanese student at our home in Australian back in 1998. We became very fond and attached to Jun, made her part of our family and visited her many times in Japan over the years. She became ill several years ago and it has been difficult to see her since her illness due to hospitalisation.

Our last contact with her was last Christmas and new year, however she hasn't responded to any emails since then. We are going to Japan again in 10 days time and were intending to try and contact her whilst in Osaka, however we received a very sad message from her parents today advising us that Jun passed away on march 23rd.

We are concerned now about how we should approach this situation. I speak some Japanese, however her parents speak no English. I want to contact them in Japan when we are there to pay our respects and also visit our daughters resting place.

Some advise on this situation would be greatly appreciated. Should I send flowers to the family.?

Thank you
David and Margaret

David and Margaret,

I am so sorry for your loss.

As you've suggested, sending fresh flowers to the parents is a nice and common gesture in this situation. It should be white flowers with wrapping of low-tone color.

You can also consider hiring an interpreter who can accompany you to the parents' home where you can give your own simple prayers in front of the home alter.

You are also free to ask the location of the grave so that you can visit there, but don't be surprized if the parents have not yet buried their daughter's cremated bones there or if the family grave is located at a very far homecountry. In that case, you are not obligated to go way out there. The sprit always lies in the alter.

As for procedures on hiring an interpreter, you can either ask your hotel for advise, or if you have any mutual friends between the daughter, perhaps that person can find a bilingual student who can do the interpretation free of charge.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you.