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What is the correct protocol 2013/5/14 21:06
Recently, a long time business associate in Japan died suddenly. We did not attend the funeral but have been invited to what they say is a 'farewell party' which happens to be on the birthday of the deceased.
Does anyone have any idea what happens during such a 'farewell party'. Is there is dress code and should we offer some monetary gift? Basically, we are slightly confused as to what we should do. Any insight or advise will be much appreciated. Thanks
by juuchann  

Re: What is the correct protocol 2013/5/15 15:53
Are you coming from outside Japan to attend this "farewell party"?

"Farewell party" is in principle like the funeral, it's just that the funeral and the cremation has been completed already (possibly amongst the family/relatives only), but when the person had a wide circle of acquaintances/friends, this is held later.

Dress code: it does not have to be all-black funeral dress/suit, but dark suit would be fine.
Condolence money: does the invitation say anything about it, I mean, specifically "no monetary gift please" kind of comment? If not, I would bring some money in the Japanese style "o-kouden" envelope.

The set-up will likely be similar to a funeral. Is the location at a hotel banquet hall? You will probably see an altar with his picture placed in the middle, decorated by flowers. Instead of any Buddhist monk participating, there is likely to be a video/photo presentation of what the deceased has done, etc., some friends giving speeches, and everyone lines up to place a flower at the altar and pray RIP.
by AK (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: What is the correct protocol 2013/5/15 21:46
Many thanks for the quick response, AK.

Yes, we are coming from outside Japan to attend this 'party' and you are also right in that the occasion will be at a hotel function room. We have been told to just buy our own air tickets and everything else will be taken care of by our Japanese associates. In this case, what would be the appropriate amount of condolence money. Apart from the condolence money, is it appropriate to bring gifts for the others. Please advise. Thanks.
by juuchann rate this post as useful

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