Attending a memorial serviice in a hotel

We will be attending a memorial service for a long time business associate who passed away about 2 months back. The service is held in a hotel hall and we were told it's about 2 hours. What can we expect during this service? Do we need to prepare a koden and if so, what would be the appropriate amount. Also, is there a strict dress code? Thanks.

http://www.japan-guide.com/forum/quereadisplay.html?0+102909

Sorry I did not get back to you with any more responses after this. I have personally not attended any memorial service at a hotel, so I was not sue.

I looked up here and there, and:
- "O-koden" per head of 10,000 yen seems to be the norm, UNLESS the invitation asked for a fee.

- Regular business suit seems to be fine.

- Some friends/business acquaintances will give speeches, and everyone will probably be asked to place a flower at the altar and pray for his soul.

I hope that someone else with experience will comment.

juuchann,

These kind of memorial services may differ greatly depending on the host (who is usually not the family of the deceased, but someone from the industry).

The idea is that there already was a formal funeral, and then there is this memorial for more people to gather for this very popular person and to share their memories.

So usually, the atmosphere is much more casual than the funeral, yet semi-formal. Plus, according to Budism belief and perhaps other religions, the deceased has already entered heaven and the remaining family quite settled, hence this is truly for remembering this person rather than to send him/her to the skies.

As for koden, you can ask for advise at stationary shops. Big or small, shops specializing in stationary have clerks with good knowledge on envelopes etc., fit for various occasions.

Needless to say, bring plenty of your name cards along with you, just in case.

Just to add, answering your previous question, no, "gifts for the others" aren't expected.

Hi AK and Uco,...many thanks for helping to answer my questions. We are definitely more informed and can prepare correctly for it. Thanks...