Travelling with an infant - what not to do?

My husband and I are visiting Japan (primarily Tokyo, with a Christmas visit to Manza Onsen) for about 3.5 weeks this Dec/Jan. Although this will be our 5th Japanese holiday, this one will be completely different because we are now parents. Our daughter will be about 9 months old then.

I've been doing a bit of research about the logistics of it all and have taken many things into consideration, e.g. avoiding rush hour, not going to any restaurants where people are smoking, asking if a baby is okay when wanting to dine at an establishment, being mindful of taking up space on trains/buses with a stroller, bringing baby formula from home (and some, but probably not all solid foods), taking it in turns to use the onsen because she shouldn't go in, tips for plane travel, etc. I'm also aware that department stores are very baby-friendly, and I have read about baby-welcoming cafes/restaurants on the Tokyo Urban Baby blog.

We will be taking our ErgoBaby Performance Carrier and possibly taking (or buying there?) an umbrella stroller that's very lightweight and compact. Knowing the difficulties we'd face with elevators, uneven surfaces and congestion on trains/crowded streets, I don't know if the stroller is worthwhile. The carrier may get heavy after a while but we would take it in turn.

We've booked an apartment that's close to the Yamanote Line, is baby-friendly, and has an elevator. This gives us the benefit of having a washing machine and kitchen, as well as the stability that comes from not packing up camp every day to move to a new city (which is our usual, fast-paced style). This trip will be a lot more relaxed in terms of itinerary, although a few day trips are planned, e.g. Fuji Five Lakes.

Now, although we're not inexperienced at travelling in Japan, we're a couple of noobs in terms of travelling with a baby and would appreciate some advice. As our baby will be so young, we imagine that as long as she's got a belly full of food, can sleep when she likes (she happily sleeps in the ErgoBaby), is warm and cozy and gets regular playtime with us and a few toys/books, she'll be happy to go with the flow and do whatever we wish to do. However.... Are there any places or activities that would be socially/legally/logistically unacceptable to visit? A lot of people ask what things to do with a baby in Japan, but we would like to know what NOT to do. We wish to avoid putting people in a position where they are tolerating us on the outside but secretly hating us being there.

Here in Australia we've been taking her to cafes/restaurants and shopping centres regularly, including child-friendly beer gardens/cafes during the daytime only. Although we haven't experienced any discontent from her on any of these outings, if she started to get unsettled or distressed we would absolutely leave because we don't want to cause her to be upset or irritate other patrons. Is it much the same in Japan or are there unwritten rules about things you just don't consider doing with a baby in tow?

As a new mum, I recognise that there are a lot of opinions about what you should/shouldn't do, but I'm specifically interested in what the general population would consider to be acceptable. Are opinions as divided in Japan as they are here? In Australia we have laws relating to under 18's in licensed premises, but besides that there are mixed opinions on what's socially acceptable. Occasionally some cafes/restaurants/pubs ban children because of the owner's preference and desire for a child-free zone.

In terms of places we're unsure about, are daytime visits to taphouses/bars allowed or are they ruled as being inappropriate? No, we're not going to get drunk or anything, but may we relax of an afternoon with a drink? What about museums? Shopping? Video game (not pachinko) centres? Can we take her to most actual Japanese restaurants, not the chain family ones? At the moment she sits happily on our laps while we eat, or we take it in turns to hold her while the other eats. I don't know if she'll remain happy to do that in 6 months time. Are the restaurants with tatami flooring common and inexpensive?

Also, are there any laws or recommendations in terms of safety for travel on highway buses? Do taxis have baby seats?

Are there any other things not normally mentioned that we need to consider?

Thank you in advance.

I have a 2 year old who was born in Japan and we live in Tokyo.
Strollers are quite doable here, uneven pavements aren't really an issue here like they might be in South-East Asia, and more and more stations these days have elevators and escalators. It's best to avoid rush hour trains with a stroller, otherwise as long as you are aware of fellow passengers and try not to block doors and aisles you will be fine.

Umbrella strollers are easiest since you can be sure they will fit through all ticket gates. Our main stroller is just too wide to go through a standard ticket gate here and it is a pain- I have to look for the special wide ticket gates or manned gates so it adds time to the trip.

I also use an Ergo with my son still (he's a lightweight at 10.9kg luckily) and you will see lots of Japanese parents with them- sometimes both an Ergo and a stroller.

Eating out in Japan with kids is no problem- restaurants tend to be far more kid-friendly than they are in Australia or NZ, and other than really upmarket fine dining establishments you can take your baby anywhere, including places that serve alcohol.

Lack of properly separated smoking areas can sometimes be an issue, but far less these days than 10 years or so ago.

Taxis do not usually have baby seats. There are companies which can provide them if ordered in advance, Tokyo Urban Baby or Tokyo Mothers Group may have more information on which companies. On the odd occasion I have taken my son in a taxi I have had him in the Ergo and had a seatbelt around my waist. Seatbelt rules for kids are generally a bit laxer here than in many other countries unfortunately.

I'm going to have to leave it there because my toddler id demanding I play trains with him- will come back if I get the chance :) If you are on Facebook at all you might want to join Tokyo Mothers Group as you will get good answers to your questions there. People who are just visiting Tokyo are more than welcome to join!

tatami flooring can be found in both cheaper and expensive restaurants. The only issue with that, from what I've seen, is that your child might easily reach the table and make a mess!

From a social taboo standpoint I can't think of anything to avoid. That being said, you may notice in Tokyo that there are a lot of places where you don't see many babies. I believe that is due to environmental and safety factors - crowded trains, accesibility issues, noise, etc. If someone notices you in a game center you might get some stares but who cares.

The biggest issue I can see is play time. Not sure if other chains have this, but every Muji store I've been to has a play area. The one in Yurakucho is especially nice (and the cafe is good too; saw lots of children there). So unless you find better, you might want to carry a map of muji stores with you just in case.

For dining we had an easy time finding restaurants in office complexes. At 6pm things will be quiet, and these restaurants tend to be a bit more spacious than a lot of places on the street.

@ Sira - Thanks! Yeah, so travelling with a baby requires the same courtesy as travelling with suitcases. Sounds straightforward. Do you know how much a cheap umbrella stroller would cost in Tokyo, and where you'd buy it?
Does the acceptance of babies at restaurants serving alcohol also include taphouses, sake bars, and other similar places? We'd go during the daytime only, and to ones without smoking.
And wow, there's no way a taxi would let a baby (or child up to the age of 7, as per our laws) in as a passenger without a proper restraint. We can't even take our baby on the airport shuttle bus! I think we'll avoid taxis unless we have no other option.
I hope the train playing went well :)

@ ChicagoMike - good point. Although she doesn't make much mess yet, she'll be on solids, sitting up by herself and probably crawling by then. We'll have to be careful with the tatami!
Thanks for the tip about Muji. I'll add that to the list of baby-friendly areas on the TokyoUrbanBaby map. It will be good for her to play in areas designated for babies, rather than just wherever we are.

A lot of game archades have strict regulations stating that those 16 and younger must leave after a certain hour. Since this is to prevent youth crime, I'm not sure how strict they are against babies, but these places are quite unflexible, so don't be surprized if a part-time employee asks you to leave according to regulations.

On the other hand, there are small amusement corners here and there that are designed for families with children, often inside smaller theme parks. They may not have the newest games, but you can enjoy a lot of machines like UFO Catcher or Mogura-tataki at those places.

Hi Uco. Do you know roughly what time the age restrictions start?

The younger people are asked to leave the game archades at 6pm. Now that I remember, it's the by-law. The clerks would come around asking for IDs to those wearing high school uniforms, and the kids are literally and politely asked to leave if they are 15 or younger.

By the way, most prefectures state by-laws prohibiting those 17 years old or younger to be walking around after 11pm, even if accompanied by parents.

Usually, no one says anything if they do (hey, my son used to go buy snacks in the middle of the night and the neighborhood patrol didn't even give him an eye), but larger theaters and malls tend to work under strict regulations.

So in other words, you may have problems trying to buy tickets for late-night shows at cinema complexes if you're taking your infant along, but you usually won't have a problem going out for a late-night walk or dining at a small taverns.

Anyway, you don't want to keep your baby awake after 11pm, and at 6pm you'd want to go dining rather than gaming.

Thanks, that gives us plenty of time. I imagine that most evenings we would return to the apartment after dinner (and yes, food not games at 6pm for sure), except possibly New Year's Eve. We'd only be out late for that one if it's considered the normal thing to do in Japan with one's baby. Is that night the exception to regular parenting practices, or do babies stay at home asleep in bed well before then as per every other night? Sorry if that sounds like a dumb question, but I know that New Year is more important there than here. In my country it's all about fireworks and getting very drunk... nothing even remotely culturally significant and dignified! I definitely wouldn't take my baby out for an Aussie NYE!

Well, it depends.

First of all, as a parent, I find that most babies become restless if they stay out so late, even if they have arms or carries to sleep in.

Secondly, many locals think that this is not healthy for the baby, moreover often annoying if the little one starts crying or starts running around because of the sort of a sleepy-high.

And even on New Year's Eve when all the transportation is moving all night long, it would be harder to go home as it gets later, plus most of Japan is quite freezing in that season.

For these reasons, staying out late with a baby is not really something that is socially expected, even on special nights. That said, we do spot infants and toddlers staying out very late at night even if it's not a special night. By-laws are just the same; most things are tolerated while big facilities may have strict regulations (just like the Oscars, New Year TV shows don't let young artists make appearances after a certain hour).

So it's really up to you. We locals tend to stay home and enjoy special TV programs while their children are too young or take turns baby-sitting. As a mere suggestion, you may want to avoid larger shrines and temples at night which can be a bit stressful, but perhaps you can try walking to one of the little neighborhood shrines and temples where the atmosphere is more cozy. I remember going to one of those in the snow with our baby nephew.

Thank you! I think we'll take it as it comes and see what our daughter is happy doing. We've bought a lot of cold weather clothing for her (particularly for Manza Onsen) but as you said, even if she's asleep in a carrier she may still be overtired.

By taphouses do you mean izakayas (Japanese pubs) or places with beer on tap in general? Izakayas are usually fine to take kids, and some open for lunch as well. I don't think you'll find a lot of sake bars etc open before 5 or 6, and I'm afraid that 99% of places where drinking is the main objective (izakayas included) are not separated into smoking and non-smoking areas, and that there are almost always people smoking unfortunately.

Cafes and restaurants that serve wine and beer are fine to take your daughter to. For us 8 months was about the upper age limit where we could enjoy a quiet meal or coffee, my son started crawling at 6 months and pulling up at 8 and once they are mobile they want to be out and moving around more often than not! Great if you can time it for a nap though ;)

I don't think I've seen a Muji with a play area other than the one in Yurakucho- I'm sure others have them but it will only be the really big stores. Most stores (there's usually one near about every second train station) are much smaller and don't have any play areas that I've noticed, and I am constantly on the look out for that kind of thing!

We have taken my son to proper game centres a few times, usually with visiting family to play something like Taiko no Tatsujin (drum game). Staff have never said anything to us, but they are massively loud and he usually doesn't tolerate them for very long.

Anyway, have a great trip! Japan is kid-friendly in general, I'm sure you won't have any problems :)

I don't think I've seen a Muji with a play area other than the one in Yurakucho- I'm sure others have them but it will only be the really big stores. Most stores (there's usually one near about every second train station) are much smaller and don't have any play areas that I've noticed, and I am constantly on the look out for that kind of thing!

I agree, I've never seen a Muji with a kids area (and I've been to quite a few). Yurakucho, if anywhere, would be the exception considering its the largest Muji in eastern Japan.

Thanks Sira and yllwsmrf. I'll keep just that one Muji on the list.

@ Sira - beer places in general, not an izakaya. You know, the sort of place where craft beer is the thing that you go there for, but they have food to eat whilst you indulge. For example, Baird Taphouse, Popeye, Craft Beer Market. These are all places we've visited before, but we didn't pay any attention to whether babies would be accepted there. I know Baird is non-smoking and both my memory and a quick google search confirm the other two are as well. I dare say our usual Golden Gai haunt is off the cards though!!!

I really appreciate all the feedback. It's going to be such a fun trip, and I'm confident that all 3 of us will be able to enjoy ourselves.

Hi Sal,

You wrote: And wow, there's no way a taxi would let a baby (or child up to the age of 7, as per our laws) in as a passenger without a proper restraint. We can't even take our baby on the airport shuttle bus! I think we'll avoid taxis unless we have no other option.




I am sorry this is out of topic but I saw that you wrote in Australia, the driver does not allow one to carry babies on an airport shuttle bus without a restraint. So what kind of safety restraint should parents bring up the shuttle bus?
I am curious to know because I like Aussie & I may want to visit it in the near future.

Hi Judy. I just found this link for you about the laws for child restraints in Australia http://www.babycenter.com.au/a1033422/car-seat-laws-in-australia
I see that it's actually not a requirement for a taxi to have an appropriate restraint, and if they don't have one they can't get in trouble. Ouch! I would only ever book one that DOES have a restraint. Some cabbies drive in a very rough manner and I wouldn't want to take the risk!
The shuttle bus I was talking about is only the little one at my local airport. My city is only small and I can't speak for other airports. It says on their website that all passengers must wear seatbelts (which isn't the law on bigger buses or coaches - and only coaches have seatbelts, incidentally. I'm the nerd who wears them if they're available), and they only have child restraints for 4-7 year olds.