A recurrent situation with Jp penpals

I've already posted a topic about that, but that time it's a bit different.

As I've started to meet Japanese penpals since 4 or 5 months, here are my conclusions:

-when meeting a Japanese penpal (male or female), during the first month it's a very good relationship, 5 or 6 mails per week.
During the 2nd month, the duration between two replies (from the Jp penpal) becomes longer and longer: 2 days, then 3 days, then one week...
After two months (or three if you're interesting enough), the contact is stopped.

-The conversation generally starts to slow down soon after it becomes more personal (when sending photos, or talking about the work, or family)

-The only (very few) Jp penpals that continue to write with me, at a stable rate, are my penpals that use LINE (and that's not really "mail exchange": it's more like, only a few sentences in a week).


At the time when I'm writing this message, once again it is happening to me: a Jp penpal is currently sharply slowing down her reply average time. And I'm very sad because I was expecting that I had finally met a true friend.

Before meeting Japanese penpals, I've (incidentally) met a Korean and a Taiwanese penpals. And you know what? Both still write to me very frequently, without any slow down.




Just tell me if you think that it's a coincidence in my life, but: it SEEMS that it's VERY HARD to find true Japanese penpals, compared to other Asian countries. And I'm talking about male and female penpals, same story.


Please tell me if you feel the same conclusions as mine, in your own case. As I've read on this forum, many people seem to face, like me, that evil "abrupt end".

The novelty seems to wear off and people lose interest right away. It's not personal as the internet isn't really a personal environment. Japanese people seem to avoid conflict, so ignoring and not responding anymore may be an indication that it's over.

(I don't mean to generalize in this post, but at the same time, I believe it's a social trait there. Apologies if someone is offended.)

5 or 6 times a week! that would be way too much...
When us old fuddy-duddies wrote to foreign pen pal the old fashioned way (letter written by hand, sent by boat because it was cheaper) one letter a month was a lot. 3-4 times a year was average.

A friend of mine still correspond with a pen pal she first wrote to as a teenager. They write to one another once a year.

Can I know which language did you communicate with them in emails and face-to-face?

Could it be possible that their English is not very fluent and your Japanese is not good? So they got tired of it even after you guys met up. It can be quite tiring to communicate if you have to re-explain yourself or have mis-communications. It's just human nature.

Maybe you can find those who are fluent in English? I'm just making assumptions. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Don't worry. Get over it. 'Friends' come and go on the internet.

Maybe you should look specifically for people who want to exchange letters rather than any internet-based communication. As it requires more effort in the first place, you might find someone who is more interested and less likely to cut you loose. Also, letters are more personal and could allow for a more significant connection rather than sending emails to a number of random strangers.

I met my Japanese penpal on here, and we've been in contact for over 2 years now. We met last year too. She and I send each other about 6-10 letters a year. I love when they arrive. It's way more special than emails for keeping in touch with people.

Good luck!