Children behaviour Japan

Good day!
Quite an annoying thing happened when in the subway platform in Tokyo today. Was walking toward the exit when met up by two young girls holding a balloon which they hugged hard and which eventually went kaboom. Me who is deadly afraid of balloons and the noise they make when blowing up felt awfully scared and annoyed by this. The girls however did not bother to apologize, just stared at me and laughed. I did want to yell at them but being a foreigner here I dont want to make a scene (afraid of being arrested or something). Also I would not know what to yell anyway but a simple "baka!".what should I do if something like this were t o happen again?

Are all children like this in Japan? I see parents letting their kids run freely at train stations not apologizing if their kids bother me by that.

Oh, they (that parents) seems so lacking in common sense.

But in general, Japanese victims look down on them and keep them at a distance only, not make a complaint. Because of no property damage.

I think it's typical aspect you will see in JP if you are a resident.
I don't like to see kids playing, chasing, yelling, and crying in a supermarket. Normally their mothers won't say anything because she is busy with chattering.
These days, especially young Japanese people mix public private places together. If you say something about their behavior which not suitable for public place, they sometimes become offensive and harm you. They think they are doing anything wrong. It's silly aspect really.
I was walking down Shibuya, a street behind Shibuya center street, 2 males aged mid-30s chasing each other and playing on the street. Customers from family mart was surprised with the aspect(so do I) but they never stop chasing each other. I thought they were both stupid, unable to comment on both kids and mid-30s males. This is the reality of Japan.
You better not say anything if you have seen stupid people. They may harm you if you say anything.

Well I would not accept all kind of stupid behaviour from kids. If for instance a kid were to kick or punch me or my belongings (bags for instance) it would be unacceptable. I dont know the laws of Japan but where I live it would be considered illegal, and the parents would get the blame. Some kid could throw stuff at me hurting me, and parents would just say "kids are kids, just like it or get lost". At least it happens at home, I just got the feeling japanese kids would be more respectful to people, but they seem to treat older people like trash. Has it always been like this or are parents just growing lazy? Allowing their kids doing what they want, as long as the parents can go doing their own business. I nearly kicked a kid in the head by accident as he ran toward me, (I am quite tall) stared at the parent as I had to make a sudden stop. I would not want to imagine what would have happened had I actually hit his head. Police? Arrest? I get the feeling the parent would blame me for doing it on purpose.

Hey, I'm Japanese and I always say something back. If the parents aren't educating them, it's the society's duty to do so. That's also how a lot of Japanese people think, and mind you, a lot of parents also do educate their children in public.

But the trick is to say it mildly and specificly. Girls like the ones you saw are too excited and they fail to stop and think where your anger comes from (which is not unique to Japan or Japanese children).

For example, if I were in your shoes I'd say firmly but calmly, "Gomen-nasai desho?" (You're supposed to say sorry, aren't you?) Since I speak Japanese, I might also tell them that people can die from heart attacks and that they should not try to scare people in public.

By the way, like I said it's not unique to the Japanese. The most stubborn children I encountered were North American low teens I met in a train in Japan. They were drinking soda on the floor, getting in people's ways, and when a local stranger pointed that out, they didn't listen.

As the stranger got off the train, I approached the teens with a smile and went on lecturing until the train came to my station. Along the way, one of them said that he had been in Japan for 7 years or something and noone had ever said it was the wrong thing to do.

I truly felt sorry for those kids. I could see in their eyes that they're good-natured children, and yet no one gave them the opportunity to learn. Thankfully, they moved to proper seats at the end.

Nergal,

I forgot to write the most important thing. It's not your fault that you couldn't say anything back. Anyone in shock wouldn't be able to talk back. But I hope you can feel a bit better by knowing that better things happen in Japan, too. At least, I've never seen kids with balloons scaring adults in subways.

I guess I'm going to be the lone dissenting voice, but as the parent of a young child in Japan, my experience is that parents here tend to the same or even more mindful of their children than I have experienced in other countries.

Quite an annoying thing happened when in the subway platform in Tokyo today. Was walking toward the exit when met up by two young girls holding a balloon which they hugged hard and which eventually went kaboom. Me who is deadly afraid of balloons and the noise they make when blowing up felt awfully scared and annoyed by this. The girls however did not bother to apologize, just stared at me and laughed.

I get the feeling that maybe you are overreacting since you are "deadly afraid of balloons", but I think that they probably should have apologized especially if you were visibly startled. But have you considered that maybe they don't know how to apologize to a foreigner?

I did want to yell at them but being a foreigner here I dont want to make a scene (afraid of being arrested or something). Also I would not know what to yell anyway but a simple "baka!".what should I do if something like this were to happen again?

Well first off, don't yell "baka" at them unless you are a 4 year old child (or want to appear like one). Perhaps the best thing to do is to be the adult in the situation and carry on with your business.

Are all children like this in Japan?

No

I see parents letting their kids run freely at train stations not apologizing if their kids bother me by that.

In my experience, Japanese parents are quick to apologize for their children's bad behaviour. Maybe you just had a bad experience or are oversensitive.

At least it happens at home, I just got the feeling japanese kids would be more respectful to people, but they seem to treat older people like trash.

Well, the stereotype is that Japanese children are respectful, but that's just it, a stereotype. But saying that they treat older people like trash? That's awful extreme. I wonder what these kids did to you?

I nearly kicked a kid in the head by accident as he ran toward me, (I am quite tall) stared at the parent as I had to make a sudden stop. I would not want to imagine what would have happened had I actually hit his head. Police? Arrest? I get the feeling the parent would blame me for doing it on purpose.

Call the police? I doubt it. In my experience (from accidentally running into children on numerous occasions), the parents apologize profusely to you and scold the kids even if it was your fault.

Well, maybe yllwsmrf is just overreacting since he's a (foreign) parent himself, but I do agree that there are way less so-called "monster parents" in Japan than the media tells us there are.

I agree with yllwsmrf. The girls were probably shocked by your reaction (which would be over the top, given your fear) and wouldn't know what to try and say to an irate foreigner. I don't know where you're from but Japanese kids are much better behaved than those in western countries......

Well, maybe yllwsmrf is just overreacting since he's a (foreign) parent himself, but I do agree that there are way less so-called "monster parents" in Japan than the media tells us there are.

Fair enough. I'm sure my opinions are affected by me being a foreign parent. Keep in mind though that I based my answer on my observations of how Japanese parents around me act rather than my own (much stronger) personal (foreign) reaction.

Keep in mind though that I based my answer on my observations of how Japanese parents around me act rather than my own (much stronger) personal (foreign) reaction.

Of course. I forgot to mention that the reason I said it was overreaction is because you usually are the calm and fair poster of this forum.

people, who have no kids, may think about like that. It is hard to conclude. Pushing children too much is harmful to growing up. My opinion is that, generally, Japanese parents push, and force too much to their children.

I'm a bit puzzled. You say you have a extreme fear of balloons but it's their fault you were scared?

If you see someone playing like that with a balloon, odds on you know it's going to pop...

In the scheme of things it doesn't sound very naughty. And in general I would say Japanese kids are not particularly naughty at all.

It's really sad to hear of people being so hostile to kids that they complain if yochien kids are taken to the park, or play outdoors etc... (I realize you didn't say this, but there seems to be an increasing intolerance for kids being ... kids.)

Your story reminds me of being at the Arabic culture festival in Tokyo with a friend from a war zone (like many of the people there) when a balloon popped. He nearly jumped out of his skin. Most people looked remarkably unfazed...

Of course. I forgot to mention that the reason I said it was overreaction is because you usually are the calm and fair poster of this forum.

Haha, yea I have to work hard to keep my stronger opinions reigned in ;)

I believe that some of this is a parenting style that you are seeing. It is the opposite of "the squeaky wheel gets the grease". The more the child yells and misbehaves, the less attention they will get. The child eventually learns that only good behaviour is rewarded with attention, and they conform.

I am told that this is used by many parents in Japan, and, as a whole, a misbehaving child is simply ignored by all in hopes that they will see that any a public tantrum is counter productive.

This is difficult panenting style to do somethines, and does require the parent to be constantly looking for good behaviour.

I am told that this is used by many parents in Japan, and, as a whole, a misbehaving child is simply ignored by all in hopes that they will see that any a public tantrum is counter productive.

I'm not sure if we have the same understanding about that. At least I have to say, although bad behavior at home may be ignored to teach them a lesson, bad behavior in public is an exception. If there is one thing that Japanese children are taught not to do, it's "meiwaku-koui" (actions annoying others), and parents are expected to be prompt in educating them when it happens.

I'm guessing you are single and don't like kids, hence the very low tolerance for kids. Frankly-speaking, the kids at my country irritate me more than the kids in Japan. In fact, I find them so adorable with their rosy cheeks due to the 4 seasons and I didn't see any misbehaving in public. Japanese are brought up in a way that they are not "meiwaku" to others in public. Same goes for their descendants. Of course there will be a few black sheeps but it is still very much tolerable.

The first time I witnessed it was a customer scolding a young sales boy at one of the USS' shops. The lady manager was beside the boy trying to appease the customer. But she just went on and on. I'm very sure it was a small mistake but she just couldn't let it go. It was embarrassing for them, as imagine standing there and being scolded like 2 kids receiving punishment.

The second time that I witnessed "bad" Japanese behavior was 4 ladies yakked and laughed so loudly that it can be heard throughout the yakitori shop. Like they were the only customers around. I was so irritated but my bf said it's normal because the shop sells liquor and they are drunk. If not for this bad behavior, we could have sat there longer. I can even hardly hear him speak.

All in all, I spent a month in Japan and overall, people were well-behaved in public. Sometimes I get the occasional fellow who cuts my queue to board the train, but I don't have the impulse to shove him/her out of the way. That's a different story in my country though. Well not that I did before. :)

If there is one thing that Japanese children are taught not to do, it's "meiwaku-koui" (actions annoying others), and parents are expected to be prompt in educating them when it happens.

I can relate completely. That's how parents raised me too.