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Name Calling 2015/6/26 18:59
Is it alright, or acceptable for my host mother to call me stupid? When I had asked her a question regarding to a problem I was having with the rice cooker ( I was making rice during that time) she replied with , in broken English, stupid. I wasn't sure if this was ok. I was pretty sure that my question didn't seem to dumb to ask. Has anyone had a problem like this before?
by Hana (guest)  

Re: Name Calling 2015/6/27 16:57
I wonder what the sentence actually was. I mean, where did she put the word stupid?

Anyway, in Greater Tokyo, "baka" has often been used as a sign of affection. Perhaps something a little bit like a woman calling her boyfriend "silly." I love it when people I love call me "baka."

On the other hand, people from the Eastern part of Japan just can't get used to this custom, although some are more okay with the expression "aho."

Director and comedian Takeshi Kitano is famous for using lots of "bakayaro"s in his movies. At the press conference at the Cannes Film Festival, he was asked what this was supposed to mean and he answered that it's something like a cue that people used casually at the area he grew up in.

In any case, special expressions like these work better when there is a mutual understanding. In that sense, maybe it wasn't a wise decision for your host mom to use the word "stupid" when she wasn't that close to you yet.
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/6/27 23:38
"she replied with , in broken English, stupid. "

how do you understand her precise thinking (in Japanese) by her broken English ?
she thinks everything in Japanese, translates it in English, and speaks it. you already know that her ability of English translation is limited (extremely low), since she speaks in broken English.
you should recognize that it is totally impossible to have precise communications between her broken English and your broken Japanese.
by ken (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/6/28 02:11
Well, Ken, I suppose that's why she's asking the question here, so that she can find possibilities to make herself feel better.

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by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/6/28 13:26
Sorry Uco, but I completely disagree. Callings someone stupid is not at all the same as calling someone silly. Yes girlfriends can use "silly" affectionately towards there boyfriends but stupid is a completely different level.

If the host mother thinks using the word stupid as a sign of affection is ok, she needs to be told to stop.
by daai maou (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/6/28 14:46
Sorry Uco, but I completely disagree. Callings someone stupid is not at all the same as calling someone silly.

I never said that callings someone stupid is like calling someone silly. I don't know why you are saying that to me, but that's okay.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/6/28 15:35
some Japanese use the words hƒoƒJ‚¶‚á‚È‚¢‚ÌHh,"baka jyanaino ?" frequently. its direct translation is "you are stupid."
"ƒoƒJ‚Ý‚½‚¢", "baka mitai" "looks like a stupid" is also used very often.

ƒoƒJ‚¾‚È, ƒoƒJ‚¶‚á‚È‚¢‚Ì, ƒoƒJ‚Ý‚½‚¢. the meanings are the same, "you made a mistake."
"ƒoƒJ‚È‚±‚Æ" often means "a mistake".
"ƒoƒJ‚Èl" means "a person who made a mistake".
"‚¨ƒoƒJ‚³‚ñ" is generally a nickname, a person who made mistakes frequently or seriously.

by ken (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/6/29 11:00
Your host mother is probably so accustomed to saying "ƒoƒJ" in Japanese.

Please don't get all Japanese wrong. It is her who behaves like that.
I was born and raised in Japan but My parents never told me that word unless I did something ethically or socially unacceptable.
I have never said that word to anybody so show my affection.

You should tell your host mother that you don't like her to use "ƒoƒJAƒAƒz or stupid" in front of you.
by k (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/6/29 15:35
Sorry Uco, but I completely disagree. Callings someone stupid is not at all the same as calling someone silly. Yes girlfriends can use "silly" affectionately towards there boyfriends but stupid is a completely different level.

Maybe presuming a speaker has a good grasp of the English language and nuance, which the host mother obviously does not...

Then again, I am a native English speaker and I think stupid is perfectly fine to use in an affectionate sense, depending on the context of course.
by yllwsmrf rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/3 01:16
"I am a native English speaker and I think stupid is perfectly fine to use in an affectionate sense, depending on the context of course. "

ANYTHING could be fine to use in an affectionate sense and in the right context. I could call a friend a "stupid bastard" and because he knows that I love him and do not mean the words literally, there's no problem but saying those same words to a stranger or someone I don't know well is not likely to end up with a happy conclusion.

The lesson here is that when dealing with non native speakers (whether in English or Nihongo or whatever), do NOT assume that the listener will understand your intention and avoid words that can be misinterpreted. This is especially true when the listener is likely to take the words at their literal meaning.

Example: My ex-wife (Japanese) getting angry when my mother said to her "You're terrible! You never let me help around the house!" She heard the "You're terrible!" and that was all she focussed on, not realising that absolutely nothing bad was meant by the expression.
by Saru Bob rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/3 09:21
Most people who speak a foreign language, even those who are quite fluent, will still use words incorrectly or inappropriately.
by David (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/3 10:28
Saru Bob,

Exactly my point. The other poster seemed to be speaking in absolutes as if it impossible to use "stupid" affectionately. That is not the case. Context is key. And don't presume anything in a conversation when one person is a non-native speaker.
by yllwsmrf rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/3 12:01
Right, context is the key. And the context here is a host mother calling someone stupid where there is no established relationship for using that term affectionately.

Using "stupid" affectionately is on a whole other level than using "silly" affectionately. I don't think most of would mind if someone we barely have any kind of relationship with calling us silly because of something. But I bet most of us would not have the same reaction to the same person using stupid instead.
by daai maou (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/3 15:30
The answer to your question can be negative or positive. So the choice is yours! I suggest you choose the positive and let it go! Japanese people are usually polite. I am sure your host mother is a nice person. You are a nice person. So why not stop analysing words spoken by a non-English speaker and concentrate on building a friendship?
by PamelaLev rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/8 09:14
I've seen 'baka' (the Japanese equivalent of stupid) used both affectionately and maliciously. It depends on the context. I think older generations in Japan use this term more freely and use it more in an affectionate sense towards younger people. She could also be trying to say 'silly' but doesn't know that word. Personally I cringe whenever I hear the term 'baka' - I work in a school and the teachers often call students 'baka', sometimes to their face. To me, like the English equivalent 'stupid', it sounds too harsh. But she isn't fluent in English so she probably just doesn't understand that 'stupid' is a harsh word in English so I wouldn't worry about it.
by jennjett (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/18 20:50
Hana,
You will need to give much more detail of the exact interactions that occured between the host mother and yourself. If your relationship was good and this word was a sudden slap in your face, it is very likely that she meant no harm.
by Dan (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/19 08:41
This is a common mistake Japanese make. They assume they can use it the same as baka or aho but stupid can be a strong word... To make it worse, they tend to be very bad at conveying proper tone, which is extremely important ti indicate that it is meant affecionately and jokingly vs being nasty.

I bet she is just not able to express proper tone. Is she otherwise friendly and kind? If so, try not to worry about it or just let her know that the word has stronger meaning and can sound hurtful to you.
by Hmm.. (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/21 12:35
Exactly! The overriding context here is that the host mother is a non-native speaker, making what is a common and typical mistake. That is the better assumption, at least until we learn more about the situation.
by yllwsmrf rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/26 11:28
Calling someone stupid for asking a question is wrong, in school and at work they always said, even if the questions sound stupid, always asks it.

Like everyone said, what did she say exactly word for word, how did she say it, the tone of her voice and what I would like to know is, what was her facial expression and did she laugh a little and smile.

I have to agree with Uco because she explain and define the word gstupidh on how it is use within greater Tokyo and she explain how the Eastern parts of Japan do not use it.
Because Tokyo is a big city, youfre going to have people from the urban/ghetto community speaking street also known as gEbonics,h the professional way of saying it is urban. Everyone knows street talking coming from hip-hop, not just American hip-hop, this goes for Asian hip-hop, UK hip-hop South America hip-hop and ect. If I understand Uco post correctly, Uco use the word gstupidh in the Ebonics format in her example.

Ebonics = talking street and half of street language coming from the hip-hop and talking. In talking street is improper define as not in accordance with accepted rules or standards

If you use the word gstupidh while laughing after the person making a comment, just saying the word gstupidh or gyoufre stupidh while laughing using the Ebonics format the word gstupidh mean gsilly.h Depending on how you use it, when you use it, how well you know the person and ect.

FYI, back in the 1990fs, the work gstupidh mean cool, hot, awesome, example: those shoes are gstupidh where did you get them from. stupid in a high tone.

@Saru Bob, you use a great example and great point, thank you.
@David, I agree with you.
@ daai maou, I agree, gcontext is the keyh because both ghost mother calling someone stupid where there is no established relationship for using that term affectionately. Using "stupid" affectionately is on a whole other level than using "silly" affectionately.h
@Hmmm, you hit the nail on the head, gthey assume they can use it the same as baka or aho but stupid can be a strong word... To make it worse, they tend to be very bad at conveying proper tone, which is extremely important ti indicate that it is meant affecionately and jokingly vs being nasty.h thank you

In my opinion, if I asked Uco or anyone, where did you first hear the word gstupidh use like that meaning gstupidh meaning gsillyh I guarantee it was from a friend, where her friends picked it up from another friend who first heard it use from most likely a hip-hop music video.

By the way, people of Japan, when youfre speaking like this, you are speaking Ebonics.
by Seiko (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Name Calling 2015/7/26 14:36
Well, I was born decades before hiphop, but Seiko seems to understand the gist of what I was trying to say.

Anyway, I felt that the OP was trying to find a way to make herself feel better, and I was hoping to give her some advise on how she could use her imagination when living in a different culture.
by Uco rate this post as useful

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