Wedding Party

Hi Everyone,

I am going to Japan (from American) in a month for a Japanese friend's wedding in Kobe with my boyfriend. I am curious if you all have any tips/suggestions on anything we should prepare for as I've never been to a Japanese wedding. I was under the impression this would be more like a reception since their actual wedding was in June...but it sounds like there is a wedding prior to the reception as well. I read online that giving a traditional card written in calligraphy with yen in it is what we should give the bride and groom. I'm afraid calligraphy isn't my forte so I am wondering if it would be considered inappropriate to give a wedding card that I bring from the States? Or a suggestion on what to do about getting a card in Japan without making it look tacky with my terrible writing.

Thank you so much!

Amy

If you are self-funded traveler to Kobe, no need to pay wedding money gift called "Goshugi", which write your name in calligraphy with money in. I don't think bride expects that if you are coming from oversea.

If you can manage to meet bride, before or after wedding privately, take a wedding card then. There is no chance to hand a card or letter during wedding party.

Thank you so much!!

Ask your Japanese friend if it is as formal as "hirouen." This would be a formal wedding reception, with parents, relatives of bride & groom, possibly bosses and colleagues of bride & groom, and some friends. If it is that, THEN the envelope (it's not a card, it's an envelope) with gift money might be expected. If you need it, ask for help from hotel concierge once you reach Japan.

If it is "nijikai", usually a more informal, friends-only party after the "hirouen" only that you are invited to, then that gift money is usually not expected. People who are invited only to that party might bring in some gifts (if they want to).

I think it's better to check with your friend in any case; if it is the formal one, there are some dress code as well.