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Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/3/28 14:56
I found it out recentry that my fiancé who is an native English speaker sent emails to few other women telling 'I miss you so much!!!!!' 'I want to meet you again soon!!!!!'.

We Japanese learn at school that 'I miss you' is the word to somebody special for you, like family, close friends, partner, and do not use it if you don't want the person misunderstand or if you don't have any romantic feelings towards the person.

I asked my fiancé and he said it's just friendship and he wrote them because the women wrote it first. Ah this must be an important information that he found these women from Japan-guide.com and he didn't tell them he has a girlfriend. He met them few times and he wrote these words on emails after hadn't had contacts with them for a while.

So I want to ask you,
-Do you use these words to normal friends, who you haven't met or sent any message?
-How do you think sending these messages when you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancé/fiancée, or husband/wife?

It would be greatful if you tell me you are an native speaker or not. By the way I'm Japanese.

This is a part of his message. When he sent it, he was my boyfriend.
'I want to meet you again soon!! I miss you too, I always remember your wonderful kindness to meet me in Japan and make an amazing trip for me, I’d love to have a good chat with you and spend good time with you again, I hope we will in the future and it’s my wish and dream to be able to go to Japan and hopefully meet you again there and in my country!
by shibasakura  

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/3/28 23:24
Hard to tell. Could be both actually. Anyhow, the way it was written, this must be a very, very, very good friend or...
by Glimpigumpi rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/3/29 02:42
As a native English speaker, I can offer some personal opinion on this subject. The way it's expressed, if literal, it's a bit more than passing friends, but it can also be exaggerated to mean they haven't been in touch in a long time. I've done that with a few women co-workers than moved to other stores, but not to the "sooo much" part. Sometimes these things are said emphatically but it's not to be taken literally.

I guess it comes down to the person who said that. To an American, it might mean he just really missed the person. To miss someone here is not necessarily a romantic thing-not at all.

I just mentioned to the parent of a just-graduated 6th grader in Onomichi that I'm going "to miss her daughter's blogs".... now I wonder how she's going to take that! (I hope not the wrong way!) lol
by John B digs Japan rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/3/29 03:11
Now that I re-read it, it seems the writer is expressing himself a little too much and using phrases that definitely can lead to someone else thinking there is something more than friendship going on. Maybe he just being polite and expressing himself that way to a Japanese person, who definitely would appreciate polite words.

It's hard to know because it's the only thing I've read from this person. If that person normally expresses himself this way, then it wouldn't anything to worry about.

If this is making you uncomfortable, please let him know. It's not uncommon to ask your loved one to talk about things like this in America. If it's not common for Japanese to do so, I understand and respect that, but you also have to factor that your fiance is not Japanese and the culture will be different. You have to take his culture into consideration as much as he has to take yours.

I hope whatever decision you make turns out to be a favorable one.

As far as what I would think if my significant other would think of I were to say these things to another woman, well...can't help you there....I don't have a significant other (or had)... :(
by John B digs Japan rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/3/29 05:09
sounds like he's keeping a few spares warmed up just in case.
by jh (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/3/29 11:19
Clearly something is going on, seems to me like he's flirting with them
He may not be serious and just having some fun online but it is not an expression that you use just for friends
by . (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/3/30 22:01
If I found my non-Japanese husband writing this sweet-sounding messages to a few women, I would be very, VERY, VERY upset. I would tell him to stop it, or else. (I am a Japanese woman, who has lived some years in the US and the UK.)

The whole thing sounds a bit too sweet, and he sounds like he is mixing in his romantic interest in them with his simple appreciation for the kindness they extended, and making it easy for anyone to interpret whichever way they want, including the recipient of the message, which is cunning. He is flirting.
by AK rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/4/1 13:05
As I notice, Japanese people put heavy importance in their worlds. But non-Japanese like me, when I miss someone(very close friend or not) I would really say "I miss you". That "I miss you so much" of your man could be, he is very close to those women or just a guy who likes to exaggerate that way he type messages (sometimes I'm like that too).

For now just believe on what he says. If you notice something is more suspicious then you decide what to do, but first step would be, be brave and ask directly. Most of western or europeans are not into "read between the lines" stuff :)
by tobiiDesu rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/4/11 17:04
Hello everyone,

Thank you so much for your opinions and I'm terribly sorry that my reply was really late.

I asked the same question on friend forum and language exchange forum too and got about 20 messages, most of them were same opinion that my fiance was flirting, keeping these women as spares, taking advantage of me and so on.

to AK, I completely agree with you, your post was what I thought! I was glad somebody understood my feelings and thoughts about his words.

I'm still trying to work this out, all of your opinions were really helpful. Thank you so veru much for your help! Might delete this questions when this situation is fixed.
by shibasakura rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/4/11 21:13
Hi,
To me, those messages look just like regular friendly messages, and saying such things is not very strange between regular friends where I come from (Sweden). It could even mean nothing, like a thing you say just to be kind. Just like how people may say "we should eat lunch together sometime" even though they don't intend to plan it.

Although, it could be something you'd say to someone you like romantically as well, so there's no guarantee. Instead it depends on the person and what he/she is like and what kind of friendly relationships he/she has normally.

For example, a friendly hug may mean nothing, but to someone who never hugs anyone it may seem strange when they suddenly hug someone.
by Tompis rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/4/12 01:51
My thoughts...

Why are you calling him your fiance? You say he hasn't told his friends who he misses that he has a girlfriend. You're not his girlfriend...you're his fiancee. If he's THAT good of friends with these girls, they'd know who you were because he should talk to them about you.

I guarantee your guy would NOT be cool with you doing the same with other guys.

I would be on high alert.

by artemis9995 rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/4/26 00:50
i know for shore that in America saying things like "i miss you so much!" and "we should meet sometime!" are commonly said amungst friends, esp with younger people who grew up with internet and texting and stuff.
by wesleyjames rate this post as useful

Re: Do you say 'I miss you' to your friend? 2016/5/4 19:37
boyfriend
by porntip (guest) rate this post as useful

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