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Please correct this 2017/6/27 07:56
Please tell me my mistakes and how I could write/combine some sentences so that it sounds better. Thank you in advance!

*Amerika*人なのに、*Furansu*の*City*に住んでいます。*City*は*Furansu*の北東で、*other city*のそばで、*capital*の188キロメートルぐらい南西部です。人口は156ぐらいです。専門(uni speciality)は*X* だし、主専攻は*Y* だし、副専攻は*Z*です。日本語の漢字に感心したから、半年前一人で日本語の勉強をはじめました。休みにいつも練習したことがあります。私の夢は良い日本のスピーカーになることです。 趣味は言語の勉強をすることやほんをよむことやピアノを弾くことや散歩することです。一番好きな音楽はジャズで、大音量の音楽があまり好きでありません。
by Kanjiran  

Re: Please correct this 2017/6/27 18:55
Amerika*人ですが、*Furansu*の*City*に住んでいます。Changed for a better flow.

*City*は*Furansu*の北東で、*other city*のそばで、*capital*の188キロメートルぐらい南西にあります。Corrected. It is TO the southwest of the capital, not in the southwest OF the capital city I assume?

人口は156ぐらいです。The population is 156 persons?

専門(uni speciality)は*X* で、主専攻は*Y* 、副専攻は*Z*です。Again changed for a better flow.

日本語の漢字に関心を持ったので、半年前一人で日本語の勉強をはじめました。Corrected. You had the wrong kanji for the word "kanshin " as "interest."

休みにいつも練習したことがあります。Do you mean to say you have in the past studied on your days off, or that you always study on your days off?

私の夢は良い日本のスピーカーになることです。 This I would rephrase completely to say you want to be able to speak Japanese well, I assume that is what you mean? The word "speaker" in katakana is often used to refer to the audio speaker equipment, or speaker as in guest speaker in a symposium, but not just as someone who speaks a language. Also you are saying Japan speaker instead of Japanese language speaker.

趣味は言語の勉強をすることやほんをよむことやピアノを弾くことや散歩することです。ok

一番好きな音楽はジャズで、大音量の音楽があまり好きでありません。Loud music is not a category of music, so I would rephrase to say loud rock music, or something like that?
by AK rate this post as useful

Re: Please correct this 2017/6/28 12:41
Separeted 3 parts.

1)
私はアメリカ人なのですが、フランスの「A市」に住んでいます。
この街はフランス北東の「B市」の隣りで、首都からは約190キロ南西に位置し、
人口は僅かに160人程しか居ない小さな町です。

2)
私は「X学部」の学生で、主専攻は「Y」、副専攻は「Z」です。
半年前に日本の漢字に興味を持ち、独学で日本語の勉強を本格的に始めたばかりです。
休みの日にはいつも勉強していて、日本語を上手に話せる様になる事を夢見ています。

3)
趣味は、言語の勉強、読書、ピアノの演奏や散歩などです。
一番好きな音楽はジャズなのですが、ロックなど大音量で聴くものは好みでは有りません。

Copy to here, each part(200 letters max) for listening natural speaking.
http://voicetext.jp/
This site is high tech speeching engine using mostly good. (around 90点/100)
(Google and other online speeching engine also lang apps mostly under 60点)

Qs and corrections :
1)
If "capital" means "Paris"? If so, direction is not matched.
http://157.82.157.148/images/compass_intro.png
ぐらい(位) means "about" = 約(yaku) also 程(hodo) and counting 5 or 10 steps usual.
Really only 156 living very small town? or 156万人(over a million)?

2)
Wondering that "good speaker" is what?
If means occupation, "日本語を使う仕事に就く事を夢見ています。" better.

3)
Also wondered same point already by above poster :)

Personally, also listening "Big Band Jazz" with loud sounds is very excited.
Do you know this film(Japanese movie releaced in 2004)?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0435434/
And in Japan, "Theme of Lupin the Third" is very famous many pro and amature players/bands covered.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupin_the_Third
This is one of hot young YouTuber(amature player) in Japan, still 15(JK1).
https://youtu.be/vQFeXG3X1vs (last ドヤ顔 is very cute.)
(JK?, ドヤ顔?)
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/JK
http://maggiesensei.com/2010/10/02/slang-%E3%81%A9%E3%82%84%E9%A1%94-d...
This is original song great composer "Yuji Ohno(Jazz pianist)" joined.
https://youtu.be/F0QpzPCaknk
So it will be much easier to make Japanese friends if you can play this perfectly.
Original has many different arranged over 20 versions, it may be decited after watching all tv series and films.
However, I also loves standard Piano, solo or small band jazz song plays.
by Agillo (guest) rate this post as useful

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