A Father with a half-Japanese Son

Good day,
I am a foreigner with a Japanese son (half). I am planning to go to Japan and raise my child there (yes, it sounds ambitious).
Our situation: My son is currently 2 & a few months old. He is already starting to speak some Nihongo. My wife is Japanese and she always speaks to my son in Nihongo. For some reasons, my wife may live separately from us (me and my son). I want to continue bringing up my child in a Japanese environment and grow into an adult in Japan. My son doesn't have a problem staying in Japan as he has a Japanese passport, the only problem is me. I have been looking for a job in Japan even before my son is born, so I know how TOUGH it is. I am currently living and working in Singapore with my wife and son. In a few months before my son turns 3, my rough plan is to study in Japan, bring my son with me, and when my Japanese is good enough then I will look for a job (ANY job just to get started).
*I do have 10+ years in Architecture*
I have been reading articles and posts about single parents in Japan. As tough as it is, I still want to give it a shot. I do have a modest saving which amounts to 8-9M�� -- to fund my plan.
Anyone here with the same situation (or something similar)? Words or wisdom or criticism are greatly appreciated.
*Btw, I am a south east asian -- which makes it more difficult.

Non-Japanese parents of Japanese children can typically get long-term resident status if they can demonstrate that they need to be in Japan with the child. So if your wife is unwilling or unable to raise your child, that's probably your best bet.

I suppose there is a reason why a spouse visa is not an option?

Generally speaking, Japan is not the friendliest place for single parents, especially single fathers. Additionally, the language you learn at such a young age can be easily forgotten. You need to be at least about 6 or 7 to be able to utilize the language you learned at that age.

That said, if your son has grandparents or relatives who can be there for him when you can't, and if you're aware that all the language and cultural experience in Japan will only be for his emotional development, then all you'll need are your own income and your own friends. In particular, kids get sick or injured so easily, and then most nurseries can't look after him. It would be great if someone with a good knowledge of the local language can attend and care for him.

@Firas
Thank you for your swift response. I am glad to know that there is such a way. I'll research about this.
At first I thought the only way is for the spouse to sponsor the his/her partner (which is unfortunately unavailable for me) or get a job.

My wife does not want us to live in Japan. If I want take my son there, I can only rely on myself.

I agree with Firas, but I don't know if immigration will see a reason for your son (and you) to be in Japan, since I suppose you two can stay in Singapore just fine.

Speaking of which, do you really think it's in the child's best interest to move to Japan rather than staying in SG? It's also a highly developed country as I'm sure you know, and your own assessment of the difficulties in Japan seem to show that you will be able to take better care of him now that you have a steady job and good income, which will help to give him the best education and standard of living as possible.

Also, I would never recommend letting him grow up without a mother, but if she is really moving away from you two or unable to take care of him there is of course nothing you can do about that. I understand you don't want to give details but it's hard to form an opinion based on the information you have given us.

The situation under which the non-Japanese parent of a Japanese child is granted the long-term visa tends to be when the couple has been living in Japan with the child but get divorced, and that parent needs to "stay" in Japan to raise the child. At least this will be the typical situation. So if you are currently in Singapore and making a living there, but have no immediate job prospects in Japan or no imminent need to "come" to Japan, I doubt the likelihood of this being granted. It is usually granted in the form of a change from an already existing resident status in Japan.

Would staying in Singapore but raising your child bilingual (such your son attending a school there for Japanese children of expats there) be anoption in your mind?

I agree with Firas, but I don't know if immigration will see a reason for your son (and you) to be in Japan, since I suppose you two can stay in Singapore just fine.

The son is a Japanese citizen; he has a right to live in Japan and does not need a reason.

However, there could be a problem if the mother opposes the move. Since the child has lived in Singapore thus far, Japan will be required under the Hague convention to send him back to Singapore if the mother demands it.

@Uco,
Thank you for your opinion. I do understand the issue of being a single parent in Japan. My son's grandparents from both sides won't be able to help him -- my parents are quite old and my wife is already detached from hers. Before our son was born, we decided to take care of him ourselves without relying on our parents.

At just 2yrs old, no involved grandparents, no involved wife - I don`t see how it would be in your son`s best interests to live in Japan with a single (working) father. Your wife doesn`t want to live in Japan with you and your son - but would she live with you in Singapore? I think you should reconsider and maybe give credence to your wife`s views. Also, your son may have a right to live in Japan, but you don`t. You do not need to explain yourself here - but you will need to do so to immigration, and convince them.

"The son is a Japanese citizen; he has a right to live in Japan and does not need a reason."

Of course, but the son is two years old and can not decide for himself. Letting him stay in Japan directly implies there is a need for the father to be there to take care of him, and that raises again the question of why the two need to be in Japan in the first place.

I am getting more confused now, papakuma. Does the mother not want him to grow up in Japan, or does she not want to raise him at all? I would assume she can not do both. And also what is exactly the reason you want to move there? Why do you want him to become an adult in Japan?

A country cannot deny entry to its own citizens, regardless of age, so if the son shows up at the border, Japan must let him in, and make every necessary arrangement to ensure his well-being, which in this case would almost certainly entail letting the father in as well.

Again, the mother may subsequently seek his return to Singapore, but that's another question.

Reading the question again, OP says he intends to "study in Japan" (probably at a language school). Well, that solves the problem at least in the short term: just get a student visa.

@88Tim & everyone,
Thanks for all your opinions.

It is true that Singapore is a safe country and I do actually have a steady job here. But my son is not a citizen here. Paying a much higher price for tuition fee in public school is one thing (as compared to citizens and permanent residents), but nowadays it is so difficult for a foreign child to get a slot in a public school forcing them to go to private school instead. I am earning a standard salary and the only way I can afford to pay for his studies is to down grade from a 1 bedroom unit (whole unit) to a bedroom (unit to be shared with others). I did a rough calculation of the expected fees, rent, etc. and I may not be able to provide proper education for him here. I am not a Singapore citizen so me and my son's (currently wife included) pass/visa here in SG is not permanent. It is possible that immigration may not extend my son and wife's visa. When we first get married here, my wife was rejected 3 times to have a long-term stay, until she became pregnant.

In Japan, after maybe a year of studying to improve my Japanese to at least N2 level (I know it needs 3x effort), and if I got a job, as a foreigner, I can still buy a 1DK or a studio unit for us -- we only need to pay maintenance fee/month. Also as my son is a Japanese citizen, he can have access to public nursery/schools/daycare.

Long-term plan: If I am able to get a steady job and provide my son with proper education (hopefully until uni or equivalent), then I am satisfied. I have not researched yet about this but maybe when he is in the right age, I can transfer the property I bought to him. And when he starts to work he doesn't need to pay his rent. I assume that he is 22+- by that time and I am 52+-. If I am not able to work anymore or got laid off from work because of age, then I can go back to where ever hell hole I came from. Knowing that my son was able to graduate and find work is good enough for me. I don't intend to ask him for support or use him to be able to live my last years in Japan.

As for my wife not being able to live with us, it is a broad and complicated issue. But to give a gist, my wife is suffering from ptsd and depression. A big part of it is from her younger days. She rarely goes out and during weekends when I don't have work, I take care of my son. She doesn't like to be here in SG and is also have conflicted feelings of raising a foreign child in Japan. I can't blame him. I can see she is suffering from something and at the same time, my son may suffer if we continue the way we are. She also have plans to get to get back to work (in Japan of course) but living separately from us. I know that such arrangements maybe very unnatural but I have left some details out because it maybe too personal.

*note: I cannot use my "savings" here in SG. It is like a pension account. I can only withdraw it once I move out of here or receive payouts when I am old.

@Paul,
Thank you.
I know, the right to live in Japan is only for my son. That is why I am planning to study to be able to get a student Visa and further improve my Nihongo and get a Job to be able to stay there with my son.

Also as my son is a Japanese citizen, he can have access to public nursery/schools/daycare.

For future reference, all legal residents of Japan can access public services. Unlike some other countries, Japan does not discriminate based on citizenship.

@Firad, AK,
Noted. Thanks for the information.

In fact, even if the child is a illegal resident, (s)he can attend public schools in Japan. The right to reside and the right to be educated (as well as the duty for a parent to educate the child) are different things.

"Can" and "have a right to" are different things. Legally, foreign citizens have very little rights in Japan, by simple virtue of the fact that they don't have a right to be in Japan in the first place. But this pretty much never matters in practice.

@papakuma Best of luck to you and your family....

I see, thanks for clearing it up. I can understand it's hard to share such a difficult personal situation. I assumed you were Singaporean, but if you come from a country that may not be suitable for the child, Japan may be the best option. I didn't know this about education in Singapore!

As was suggested before, you can simply try to get a visa as a student first, since you want to study anyway, and it may be easier to get. Then after, since the child will be living in Japan for a while already, it may be easier to claim your need to be there to take care of him. Maybe it will be made easier if you have some doctor's proof of your wife's depression. Another advantage is that your wife will also be in Japan, so if she at some point overcomes her current problems, she may very much like to be with you and her son again.

I wish you the best of luck!