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How do I fit in with people my age? 2007/12/5 00:37
Hi everyone,

Next year, I will be studying in Japan. This is really exciting for me, as I love to travel and the pop culture fascinates me.

However, I want to know how fitting in in North America differs from fitting in in Japan - how to I blend in? I mean, I know I won't REALLY blend in, being ubergaijin and everything, but socially-speaking.

Is there anything I should know about university life that's different from here, anything that's considered dorky or weird there that isn't here, or vice versa?

Thank you in advance for your help.
by Lia Strife  

No worries... 2007/12/8 00:36
Lia Strife

I am surprised that no one has yet to answer you. So, here I am.

Just be yourself!

You will be a stranger in a strange land filled with new people, things, foods, smells and many surprising sites. Simple allow yourself to flow with it.

Don't TRY to fit in. As long as you are respectful, kind and sensitive to other people you will do well.

There is always that feeling of what do I say or what do I do that comes with being someplace new and Japan is no exception.

The people by and large are great. You may find that they are very supportive and accepting of you. Students are students, just like old people are old people, no matter what country you are in.

Enjoy
Tenshi
by tenshinyc rate this post as useful

Uchi/Soto 2007/12/11 08:59
Well, like the above respondent, I think you should be fine as long as you be yourself. Trying to "fit in" with Japanese culture when you're a Westerner is not a great idea. In fact, I'm sure many Japanese would like to hear about what it's like in your culture! Unfortunately, gaijin are automatically "soto" (outside the social circle). Don't take this to mean you can't be their friend or something, but rather if you get shut down by someone or treated very differently, don't take it personally. It's a different kind of place altogether from the Western world.

But that's just the way life is sometimes: "the grass is always greener." Lots of Japanese come to Western countries for a better life, and Westerners dream of a better life in Japan. As long as you are true to yourself, good things will follow you no matter where you go. Best of luck!
by Blake N rate this post as useful

... 2007/12/11 10:03
Unfortunately, gaijin are automatically "soto" (outside the social circle).

This is simply not true. Sometimes it is even easier for a foreigner to be accepted in a social circle than a Japanese person. It all depends on your attitude! If you are positive, considerate and open-minded, you will be welcomed with open arms.

It's a different kind of place altogether from the Western world.

And I disagree again. Uchi/soto is a principle as common in the West as it is in Japan. And a Japanese person finds it as difficult, if not more difficult, to integrate into a culturally homogeneous society in a Western country as a foreigner in Japan.

I want to know how fitting in in North America differs from fitting in in Japan - how to I blend in?

This obviously depends on the circumstances. The region in North America (varying from multicultural metropolitan areas to countryside towns inhabited by white people exclusively) and Japan (from multicultural Minato-ku in Tokyo to a countryside village in Souther Kyushu), your occupation, your looks, etc. If you are not Japanese looking, basically, it is impossible to blend in among strangers! You will be a foreigner to everybody except your friends. Just like a Japanese in a white countryside town in North America.

Like everywhere else, in order to make close friends, you will need common interests. And you will need to be able to communicate. That is the biggest challenge for newcomers to Japan.
by Uji rate this post as useful

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