Japanese punctuality

Hi,

I have always heard that Japanese people are really punctual. However, a thirty year old woman that I do language exchange with is perpetually 10-20 minutes late. Should I interpret this as her not having much respect for me?

Some of my other Japanese friends are occasionally late, but not as often as not as late.

I have always heard that Japanese people are really punctual.

The thing with stereotypes are that they are just stereotypes and don't apply to everyone.

Perhaps you need to bring it up with her how it concerns you that she is never on time. And if it doesn't improve then it may be best to find a new language exchange partner who is more punctual.

Mezurashii,

In my experience, the stereotype of Japanese punctuality only applies to trains. I know many people who are habitually late for appointments or meetings, or who seem to have no concept of time whatsoever.
If it inconveniences you, then I think it is acceptable to make this clear to the person concerned.

My Japanese best friend used to make me and her steady boyfriend wait as much as an hour in front of Hachiko statue. Thanks to cell phones, we are now able to know what the other party is doing and find ways to kill time while waiting. Being late is not appreciated in Japan at all, but it happens.

Hi,

As a follow up to this thread, I finally lost my patience with the lateness and said something about it. The reaction was that I'm apparently uptight. I'm frankly surprised. Being late all the time shows no regard for the other person. You would think the Japanese, who are supposed to be constantly thinking of others, would realize this. Anyway, I decided to take the advice here and just get another partner.

I think you made a wise choice. People who are habitually late waste your time--it's not worth it. I think majority of Japanese are very punctual, myself included. My friends make fun of me because I'm always precisely on time :-)

Thanks for the reinforcement. It was a hard decision to just cut it off. But I figured that once I pointed out theself-centeredness of this, it would be over, anyway. It's too awkward after that.

Even in America, it's pretty disrespectful to always be late. I can't believe that Japanese people don't know they aren't doing something impolite when they are late or do a dotankyan. I bet they wouldn't have done that to another Japanese person.

I agree you did the right thing. In Japan, too, being late is considered very disrespectful!

I bet they wouldn't have done that to another Japanese person.

Unfortunately, that happens too. I have a Japanese colleague (good I don't have to work with/see her everyday in the same office) who is known to be constantly late for appointments - people have made attempts to tell her, but she simply does not see the point...

And being late and last-minute cancellations have become more widespread among people meeting up for fun and all that, because now everyone has a mobile (easier to say sorry I'll be late 10 minutes, or you can keep the appointment pending till the last minute).

In your language partner's case, she might think it's OK because it's not business, but it's still the same, being late means wasting that person's time, thus, not appreciating that person at all.

I hope she comes to her senses one day, and that you find a more mature exchange partner :)

it's all about respect. 5 minutes is one thing, 10 minutes is another. who's counting 5 minutes? but 20 minutes is a decent chunk out of someone's free time - especially if they are expecting you to take the full hour (or whatever length of time) that was originally planned even though they missed the first 20 minutes of it.

hopefully you found someone who's a little more respectful!

As Dave posted when this thread was originally started, Japanese people are only punctual when it comes to trains. Whether it be company meetings, meeting up with people for a night out, etc. Japanese folks are usually not the most punctual. This comes from first-hand experience living in Japan as well as studies I have read up on in regards to punctuality between westerners and eastern societies.