Are Young Parents Looked Down Upon?

Hi I am from the United States and i'm 18 years old. I got into a relationship with a girl thought she was the one and had a child with her. The relationship dident work out and now im a single dad still looking. What im really wondering is is it hopeless for me here and in other countries because i wasn't sure how thats looked upon in different cultures.

hi i dont think its a japanese thing to look down upon your situation, but more of a preference that differs from person to person.

it's not hopeless but it's going to be the same in japan as it is wherever you are from, a failed marriage is a black mark on your record, and being 18 with a child is a huge warning flag. basically 18 year olds in japan aren't even considered adults, they are going to have a hard time believing you can take care of yourself let alone a child.

as you get older especially past 22 or 23 the age issue will disappear but the failed marriage/relationship issue is going to follow you around.

Hey, there's no doubt it's going to be tough wherever you go. The most important thing is that you take good care of yourself and your child. As a new parent, I know it's hard not to be depressed or frustrated with your situation. Do your best to find friends and support. Try not to let the rest get to you. Being a parent and worrying about doing the right thing is stressful enough! This goes for any culture!

I agree with Sonny. But generally speaking, in Japan, when you become a parent, it is expected that parenting come first. And this has nothing to do with your age or income or environment.

Whether you're 18 or 81, if you are a father to little children, you are expected to try to make money to support these children, and try to be home after work so that they can feel comfort and be educated. At 18 this may be difficult, because the people you grew up with are still going to college, or dating girls, or nightclubing.

But you can say the same thing if you're any age. If you're 28, all your single yappy friends will be out having martinis, or traveling around the world with gorgeous women when you're supposed to be sobber at home reading Mother Goose.

But the interesting thing is that if you leave your kids home and fool around night after night, they'll tell you that you're a dumb teenager, and if you work hard as a parent, they'll respect you and tell you how great you are for parenting at such a young age.

The lucky thing for young parents is that even after the kids finally grow out of their homes, the parents will still be in their 30s, which may seem old for an 18 year old's perspective, but is indeed very very young.

Unfortunately, it's looked down upon. Japanese people may not say it to your face (they probably won't) but they'll probably think it in their minds or talk quietly to other friends about the situation. Japan is still a really socially conservative country compared to other countries and I would tend to say that the situation probably wouldn't be any better in Japan compared to other places.

That being said, don't let that stop you. It's something you're going to have to fight through now and the worst thing you can do for your kid is to give in and not give her/him the opportunities that he/she deserves.

Hi I am from the United States and i'm 18 years old. I got into a relationship with a girl thought she was the one and had a child with her. The relationship dident work out and now im a single dad still looking. What im really wondering is is it hopeless for me here and in other countries because i wasn't sure how thats looked upon in different cultures.

Are you asking if the Japanese will look down on you for being a young single parent? Or are you asking if the dating scene will be hopeless for you as a young single father? Because I read your question as referring to dating, while it seems that others have read it the other way. Well in terms of dating, you will definitely have a difficult time pretty much anywhere. The majority of 18 year old girls are not prepared for a relationship involving children.

Also see this thread:

http://www.japan-guide.com/forum/quereadisplay.html?0+56196

I thought all these responses ARE about dating.