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Valentines gift in Japan? 2009/2/14 02:13
Hello, i need advice on this one:

I have a japanese girlfriend for 2 years now (im European). During the last 1½ year, i have become good friends with my girlfriends best friend. We have exchanged packages with sweets and stuff during that time. (my girlfriend knows it ofcourse and she is happy we get along fine)

Then the day before yesterday, i received a gift from her friend: a big red box with valentines card and chocolate in a heart saying ''because you are special to me''.

Maybe i put too much into it, but to me, its what i would call a ''romantic gesture'' of some sort. From a European standard, Valentines gifts is something romantic, so i feel akward by receiving this from her. But maybe a valentines gift in Japan can just be a gift between friends??? I dont know, please let me know about this.
(because im not sure my girlfriend is the right person to ask this question!)
Thank you.

by Anonymous (guest)  

choco for everyone 2009/2/14 08:59
In Japan it is customary on Valentine's Day for women to give chocolates to every guy they know, including to all the men they work with. The "You are special to me" is just a typical Valentine's greeting- it doesn't mean anything at all.

There is unlikely to be any romantic feeling being expressed at all, so don't worry about it.

You could if you want give her some chocolates on "White Day", March 14, when it is customary for men to reciprocate, but many don't bother!
by Sira (guest) rate this post as useful

Whether Feb or Mar...... 2009/2/14 11:09
"You could if you want give her some chocolates on "White Day", March 14, when it is customary for men to reciprocate, but many don't bother!"

Good for them. If ones significant other is understanding and truly knows their significant other such things are not needed.

Buying or doing something for someone to show affection/care/or whatever on the same day that everyone else usually does is reeeeally special.....(sarcasm)

I say don't bother...
by Gebe (guest) rate this post as useful

giri or honmei 2009/2/14 13:04
There are 2 types of gifting on Valentine's Day in Japan. The "giri choko" (just-being-social chocolate) and the "honmei choko" (you-are-my-one-and-only chocolate). Recipients often stop and wonder to think which it is.

If it's an inexpensive chocolate in which the sender hands out to everyone in public, it's obviously giri. If it's a valuable one in which the sender hands it in private, it's likely to be honmei. Note, that the biggest and flashiest boxes can often be very inexpensive, while the tiniest can be a valuable piece of brand confectionary, or it could be vice versa. So I would say that I can't really judge if the one you received giri or honmei.

Either way, share it with your girlfriend. All guys bring home their giri choko so that their family can enjoy them and so that they can boast their "trophies" at the same time. Your girlfriend can perhaps judge the weight of the gift, and needless to say, by being open about it you can prove that you don't have special feelings about your girlfriend's friend.

If I were you, I won't send anything to the friend on White Day, just to avoid any misunderstandings.
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

. 2009/2/14 13:30
If it is a big box AND a gourmet kind of chocolate, there might be something. If not, don't worry. It is just a friendly gift. Either way, it is a good idea to tell/show your girlfirend what you got.
by . (guest) rate this post as useful

Thank you. 2009/2/14 20:11
Your answers were very helpful.
I will just tell my girlfriend and reply with a polite "thank you veru much" to her friend.
by Anonymous (guest) rate this post as useful

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