Ideas of wedding gifts, besides cash?

I am attending a friend's wedding in Tokyo this February. I am aware of the 30,000 JPY cash gift that is given at the door. However, I am from Malaysia and due to our weaker Ringgit, the exchange rate is considerably high for me - RM 1,200 (usually the rate of cash gift here is a mere RM50 above). So it is quite difficult to come up with such amount. Is it possible to give items as gifts instead? If so, any ideas?

First of all, I don't know how old you are, but this "30,000 yen" is not a requirement. Students with limited funds may give 10,000 yen, for example, if you are attending the ceremony and the banquet. Or... some young people without much money (unfortunately) decline the invitation on some other pretext because they cannot afford the gift money. Wedding ceremony/banquet is an official event, in a way.

I don't know how kind of wedding arrangement your friend has, and to which part you have been invited, but the gift money is expected if you are attending the "official" banquet at a hotel, for example. The gift money is partly a way to contribute toward the payment for the wedding banquet. It is not customary to give any gift other than cash at the banquet entrance (where you give the envelope and sign your name on the attendance list).

If you have been invited to a more casual party in the evening, for example only among friends at a casual restaurant, they might ask you to pitch in, say, 5,000 yen or so per person - that "party fee" will be stated on the invitation card if it is for a casual party.

If you are invited to that official banquet, and if you feel awkward not paying 30,000 or 10,000, you could honestly tell your friend your situation (it depends on how close you are), and ask what you should do. They might say oh just stick a 1,000 yen bill into the envelope and come! or they might ask you if you feel more comfortable coming to a casual party later on (if there is one).

As for gifts other than cash, you would not take it with you to the wedding - you can ask them if there is any home furnishings or something they like to have (in their new home for example), but that would be either sent or given in person on an occasion other than the wedding ceremony/banquet itself.

minibrie,

Sure you can give them an item instead of cash. If you are a friend, go ahead and ask for requests, because that would help them a lot. Otherwise, anything would do. Give them what you would give if the wedding/couple was in/from your country.

You are expected to either hand or send them the gift in advance to their wedding.

Ask your friend that you are thinking of bringing a gift sthg from Msia and whether its all right with them.

May I suggest sthg that is uniquely Malaysian and would pricey in Japan? Anything handmade and from wood usually very pricey in Japan. Although depends on the couple's taste, I always tried to give sthg from made from wood/handmade from Malaysia to my Japanese friends - they really appreciate it!!

Or if not wood - maybe household items made from terengganu silk.Or royal Selangor pewter?

However just make sure you ask whether its ok to do so with the couple. They would (usually) understand your predicament esp u r also spending money to go to tokyo. I think RM200 - RM400 should be ok and try not to buy from pricey shop.

I would say that it depends on your friends situation. Its really expensive to host a wedding in Japan. If they don't mind you coming with only a present because of financial situations then thats fine.

Otherwise I would suggest trying to help them pay for the cost of your attendance.

My own father from the states is attending my wedding and doesn't understand the tradition. He plans on providing $100. This is significant to him but with the exchange rate its about 8,500 yen. The cost per meal alone is about 14,000 per person.

I however don't mind since its Daddy ^_^. Consider trying to give at least 10,000 worth if you will be attending the dinner. I made the mistake of attending a wedding and not knowing this tradition upon my arrival. I think it offended them.

Oh and for some cases they actually provide you with a sum of 10,000 -20,000 for going through the trouble to come. I saw many guests getting envelopes in return. You might want to ask others if not the bride and groom themselves how traditional they are about this part. You would hate to give say 5,000 and receive 10,000 in an enclosed envelope.