Chocolate on Valentine’s Day

Hi everyone!

I just started work at a school & I was thinking about what to give my co-workers on Valentine's Day.

I know that women normally give giri choco to male co-workers, friends, family members, etc., but can women also give chocolate to other women? I want to pass out chocolate to everyone in the office.

Also, I'd like to give the principal some chocolate that's more "special" because he's been a great help in trying to get me used to the school. He usually finds time to have a chat with me even though he's busy & he makes an effort to get to know me (unlike some of the other teachers). Would it be seen as honmei choco? I don't want him to misunderstand.

I was also thinking of giving some small chocolates (like Hershey's kisses or something) to students on that day. Would that be seen as inappropriate?

Thanks!

Everywhere in the world Valentine Day cards and gifts are strictly for lovers, not for friends and colleagues.
If you want to give gifts to them wait for another day. Like at Christmas time..

Looks like you are going way overboard anyway. Gifts to students??? be sensible..
For your principal a book would be more appropriate.

Incidentally, getting to know and helping a new employee is what employers do as part of their job. Learning what motivates a new employee, their background etc. is essential as one can then make them work better.

I was a supervisor for 25 plus people. Through the years I must have trained a LOT more.
Some employees needed a friendly pat on the back and a little chat everyday, while others wanted to be left alone for days on end.
Had I not been aware of that they wouldn't have been working to the best of their ability, so I would have have an unproductive staff and been unhappy too.
I---along with my manager-- always refused gifts from individual staff by the way.
We bought a couple of chocolate boxes for all to share at the end of the year and the staff did the same. NO one to one gifts..

Well, in Japan the strange custom of "giri choco" has spread, so I would not say that it is strictly for lovers only, at least in some countries :)

Having said that, however, since you are not a Japanese, I assume, Choco, I can imagine that if you gave chocolates to everyone in the office like a Japanese might out of courtesy, it could create some confusion in the school/office - now wait a minute, has she adopted the Japanese custom already, or is there any more meaning to it? Is she trying to "be nice" to everyone? (particularly considering that you are new, you might want to be careful). And particularly the students would start wondering if they should give you anything in return.

So... if you want to give chocolates to everyone as a friendly gesture, you might want to ask one of your female colleagues if the habit of "giri choco" is prevalent in your school. If the answer is yes, I'm sure that as the date approaches, your colleagues would approach you and ask if you want to pitch in to buy chocolates for everyone in the office together with them. And if the answer is no, it would be better not to give anything to anyone. And giving something to students - I would advise against it.

Thanks for answering, Monkey see & .....!

Monkey see:
First of all, I disagree with Valentine cards & gifts being strictly for lovers.

I grew up in the USA, & in elementary & middle school, my classmates & I would pass out little cards & chocolate to each other on Valentine's Day. Some of the teachers would also give chocolate during their classes, so I wouldn't say giving chocolate to students is "going way overboard."

Also, the principal isn't my employer; I work through a dispatch company. Thanks on your advice about one to one gifts though. I'll reconsider giving the principal "special" chocolate.

.....:
Yes, I'm not Japanese, so I'm not entirely familiar about Japanese customs yet.

Thanks for your suggestion about consulting my other co-workers. I'll ask the other female teachers & staff members about the Valentine's Day customs at the school.

I know the both of you have advised against giving chocolates to students, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal since some of my Japanese teachers in college & in my Japanese language school have passed out candy/chocolates to students. I'll ask the teachers in my current school whether or not it's acceptable though.

When I was a ten-year-old in an ordinary school in the U.S., we gave out Valentine cards to all our classmates. My teenage son attended an ordinary high school in Japan, and since none of his friends had girlfriends at the time, a boy made chocolates at home and shared them with the guys. So I guess we can say that in some countries, Valentine's Day is not only for lovers.

Choco, I think all you have to do is to do whatever you want to do, and say that it's either your country's custom or that you just wanted to do it. The point is to make your purpose clear. As long as it is clear, no one will be bothered.

Even to that principal. A typical Japanese girl would not give bigger chocolates unless it is "honmei," but as long as you make your excuse clear, it would be okay. And I think your young students would love the Kiss chocolates, as long as it is clear that you are giving one to every student.

However, keep in mind that public servants are not supposed to accept any kind of gifts. I hear that some public school teachers even decline Valentine's Day giri choco from students, just to educate that law. So don't be surprized if anyone declines your offer for that reason, and try not to send anything too expensive.

Also, most schools prohibit students to eat sweats and other snacks in the school premises. You might want to discuss about the Kiss choco to your colleage in advance.

Uco, thanks for your response! It was very informative :)

I'll make sure that my colleagues know I'm handing out ''giri choco.'' I think they'll know it's not ''honmei'' if they see me giving it to everyone anyway.

I'll ask the other teachers about giving chocolates to students, then if it's OK, I'll pass it out in class. I was thinking of buying a big bag of choco from the conbini & have them each take one. I might just do the same with the teachers since it'll be cheaper that way, too.

It's the same ..... again :)

Noone wants to be told that it's "giri choco," by the way :) It comes with the meaning of "obligatory" - meaning, "well, I would not give you any if I didn't have to, but since I'm supposed to, here it is." So I think it would be far nicer, as suggested by Uco-san, to say that it is your country's custom - in the US I believe the custom is to give cards or small gifts,including chocolates, as token of friendship.

To me (Japanese) the "giri" and "honmei" come with the connotation of women working in the office "targeting" at one guy in the office (honmei) then to blur the intention, giving gifts to others as well - not a very nice definition anyway, but for that reason, you shouldn't be telling the recipients that it's "giri." :)

Hi again .....!

Thanks for explaining more about "giri choco." Yes, it'll sound a lot nicer if I just say it's a custom in my country. I wasn't actually going to say that it's "giri," but just say that I brought chocolate since it's Valentine's Day...but yes, saying that it's a custom would definitely clarify things better :)

Of course, I'm sure the OP understands that she's not supposed to be going around telling everybody it's a "giri choco." Just as she suggested herself, she can hand the same thing out to everyone in front of everyone, or say something like "o-sewaninatte imasunode."