Quiet time (living in mansion)

If I want to let my toddler run pitter patter (e.g., playing chase or spinning the office revolving chair) inside our mansion home at night (when his daddy comes home from work and can play with him), what time is too late to be making that kind of noise (I read in another thread that 10 pm should be quiet time, but maybe pitter patter kind of noise is a bit too noisy, so what do you think is reasonable?) Up to 8 pm? 8:30 pm? 9 pm?

If the dad is playing chase that could turn into serious thud noise lol, but how long a time would the child play running bout? Is your apartment building full of families with small children, or more with elderly couples only or singles? Is the floor carpeted or is it wooden/vinyl-covered "flooring" type? All those factors play a role in setting the standard for what residents in that particularly building find tolerable, or even acceptable, to what kind of hour.
But for running about, definitely not 10 pm, I would say something closer to 8.

MomotaroPeachBoy,

I would agree with AK's 8pm guideline suggestion and that the acceptability of what you are doing will depend greatly on the exact circumstances of where you live, but please remember that what may sound like "pitter patter" to you may be considerably more disturbing to the people living directly below you, as footsteps (especially running) and thuds can resonate through concrete much more readily than voices. Do your neighbours a favour and let your toddler do his pitter pattering in the park during the daytime, or else lay down cushioned floor tiles in the room where he plays.

Up to 8 pm? 8:30 pm? 9 pm?

Certainly not! Quiet time is 24/7.

Do you even know your downstairs neighbor? Maybe he works the graveyard shift.

MomotaroPeachBoy,

Let the dad tickle his son on the sofa or let your son climb on the sofa and land on it. Or let the son climb on the dad and land on him, for that matter.

In Japan, you are educated not to run or jump when you're indoors. Nor bounce balls, just in case you haven't noticed. Dads are there to come home to scold his son for running inside the house during the day.

But sometimes children don't sit still no matter how much you try to stop him, so neighbors will tolerate a stomp or two if it's during the day. But if they are disturbed during the night, they'd think, "What is that kid doing staying up so late?"

That is the deal.

Japanese are not educated to make noise like this!? oh please plesae Uco come and tell this to my japanese neighbours whose children run upstairs ALL DAY screaming, banging in the bathtub screeching and running (with the father when he gets home late at night..) And last flat I was in..he played his music until late into the early morning, I ask, several times both these families please be quiter..but no respect for me .. I think you are too quick to sterrotype japanese people!

Yes it would be a sterotype to say that ALL Japanese people are quiet and respectful to their neighbours but it is generally true. Kids running around screaming and playing music loudly at night is certainly not normal or typical. Sounds like a rare case where the Landlord or even police should be brought in if it's really that extreme. Respectful neighbours are more common, at least where i've lived.

I never said that "Japanese are not educated to make noise like this" or that "ALL Japanese people are quiet and respectful to their neighbours." Quite the contrary. But never mind. Anyway, stop stereotyping that all education in Japan is for the Japanese.

Nevermind, anyway...I'm sure that made sense to you..

If I want to let my toddler run pitter patter (e.g., playing chase or spinning the office revolving chair) inside our mansion home at night (when his daddy comes home from work and can play with him), what time is too late to be making that kind of noise (I read in another thread that 10 pm should be quiet time, but maybe pitter patter kind of noise is a bit too noisy, so what do you think is reasonable?) Up to 8 pm? 8:30 pm? 9 pm?


Honestly, if that's your frame of mind, you really should be renting a house.

How can you possibly be thinking of building 'hellish noise time' into your schedule? That's such an imposition on your neighbors. Your jolly jolly few hours of 'pitter patter' (??) becomes their few hours of misery.

Kids will inevitably make a noise, but to actually encourage it and set time aside for it is just so selfish and disrespectful towards others in your block.

Respectfully, I would like to defend myself!

Please remember, everyone comes with a different background as well as a different upbringing, thus a different frame of mind. ''Hellish noise time'' may be your description if your priority is peace and quiet. It will be different for those who place priority on children. Actually I grew up, both in a house and with lots of people. So I grew up becoming used to lots of noise. However, I know not everyone is this way/not everyone can get used to noise, so that's why I am asking. And I prefer to think of myself as being NOT selfish nor disrespectful by asking on this forum what others recommend. To me, being selfish and disrespectful would be to just allow my kid to do it and not even care/bother to ask.

Like I didn't realize what may sound only like pitter patter to me may be considerably more disturbing to the neighbors, in that thuds can resonate through concrete much more readily than voices. Or it didn't occur to me that the neighbor may have a graveyard shift. These are things that weren't in my reality before since I didn't live in an apartment where I had a kid who wanted simply to be a kid and play. People in my family had regular work hours too, so it didn't dawn on me about graveyard shifts. Not that I don't know about graveyard shifts, but just that it didn't occur to me.

That's why asking on this forum helped me to think of all sorts of perspectives that I didn't think of on my own. And since lots of people here in Japan do live in apartments/mansions, all the input helps me know what others expect.

And, I should add, on the other hand, without knowing me, you would never realize that, because I am so preoccupied with having to deal with * more * than regular typical family challenges, my mind is overwhelmed, too tired to even think oftentimes!!! -- which is why I am asking on this forum). Thus, I didn't think of what may be most obvious to you.

Also, I didn't mean to imply that I would let my kid run wild. He simply just wanted to go in circles holding the office chair handle at a trot pace. I also said playing chase when I really didn't mean to include that at all -- I only added that because when I wrote my initial post saying ''spinning the revolving chair,'' that sounded kind of weird, so I just added playing chase to make it sound more ''normal'' kid play - but I didn't mean for that,... it was a mistake on my part. In retrospect, I think I made it sound like he would go running crazy, laughing hysterically all over the place being chased. So no, I should not have added that,... sorry for being misleading.

I think for those who live suffering the noise of neighbors, this kind of post must rile you up.

But I appreciate the suggestions of what I could do to solve the problem, so thanks for that advice!

MomotaroPeachBoy,

Moving furniture is one of the harshest noises to your neighbors downstairs. It's often worse than that of kids running around.

I think most of us have given you advise based on your original question (at least I meant to have), so if there is anything unclear to you, please be specific.

By the way, I didn't understand what the other poster was trying to say by "Nevermind, anyway...I'm sure that made sense to you.." but never mind.

Actually, to try to be as specific as I can this time, (and again, I'm sorry I wasn't so clear the first time)....

what I really meant to say in my original question ...

We have an office chair. It has about 5 or so wheels, but if the chair is spun around, the base of the chair stays stationary pretty much. Just the seat part spins. My son was wanting to hold on to the chair armrests and run (at his pace, it's like a trot) around the chair, spinning the seat. So it was really his footsteps (the chair would make no noises) that I was wondering about, whether that would be too noisy. (But anyway, we solved the problem already.)

Also, I too didn't understand about the "nevermind" comment.

MomotaroPeachBoy wrote;

"We have an office chair. It has about 5 or so wheels, but if the chair is spun around, the base of the chair stays stationary pretty much. Just the seat part spins. My son was wanting to hold on to the chair armrests and run (at his pace, it's like a trot) around the chair, spinning the seat. So it was really his footsteps (the chair would make no noises) that I was wondering about, whether that would be too noisy."

Yes, I understand that, and I think many of us have made it very clear that that would be too noisy. I, for example, suggested that you are expected to educate him not to run. But I'm happy to learn that you solved the problem.

Okay, just wanted to be sure no one thought we were moving furniture around.

And yes, I clearly understood all the advice given. I just did not appreciate at all, one bit, the negative comments about building "hellish noise time" into my schedule, my jolly jolly few hours, and being so selfish and disrespectful.



How can you possibly be thinking of building 'hellish noise time' into your schedule? That's such an imposition on your neighbors. Your jolly jolly few hours of 'pitter patter' (??) becomes their few hours of misery.

Kids will inevitably make a noise, but to actually encourage it and set time aside for it is just so selfish and disrespectful towards others in your block.

Just so the previous post is not confusing, the last two paragraphs should have been either deleted or in quotes.

So I'll post it again:

Okay, just wanted to be sure no one thought we were moving furniture around.

And yes, I clearly understood all the advice given. I just did not appreciate at all, one bit, the negative comments about building "hellish noise time" into my schedule, my jolly jolly few hours, and being so selfish and disrespectful.



Quote:

"How can you possibly be thinking of building 'hellish noise time' into your schedule? That's such an imposition on your neighbors. Your jolly jolly few hours of 'pitter patter' (??) becomes their few hours of misery.

Kids will inevitably make a noise, but to actually encourage it and set time aside for it is just so selfish and disrespectful towards others in your block."

And yes, I clearly understood all the advice given. I just did not appreciate at all, one bit, the negative comments about building "hellish noise time" into my schedule, my jolly jolly few hours, and being so selfish and disrespectful.


OK, and I didn't mean to be rude, just very honest and very direct. I've suffered from such noise in the past, so you have to know what it's like to be on the wrong end of it.

But your indignation at my words cuts no ice with me, because what you told us you want to do, from your neighbor's perspective, would have an outcome precisely as I describe it.

my downstairs neighbors let their kids run around. it is loud for us and of course we live above them. the neighbors below them have moved already out. it must have been unbearable - so no time to make noise is ok.

if you have a toddler then some noise is inevitable but no - you cannot build noisy time into your schedule.

Okay, I can appreciate, and do, your honesty and directness, but please also learn about expressing yourself with a little more tact, especially when it is involving people who are sincerely trying to do what's best (as in the way I described, i.e., by my asking on the forum what is considered acceptable since I wasn't sure what level of noise is appropriate).

Writing without tact (even the way you mention "But your indignation at my words cuts no ice with me") can be provoking to the recipient. It is possibly counterproductive to what you want the person to do. I.e., reading the way you replied riled ME up. If I was without values, I would just do the opposite of what you desire (and just go ahead and let my kid make noise) just to spite people like you. But I am not that kind of person.

However, I am human, I can lose myself and want to retort back without tact, so I have been trying my hardest not to. Because the meaning you are trying to convey in your post (i.e., such noise is bothersome) -- but NOT the way you wrote it -- is something I do agree with.

And if I am getting more tactless myself in this post, which I hope not,... but if I am, that is probably coming from the residual feeling of being offended that I am trying to let go of.

As you desire, respect for our neighbors is part of building our world of peace. We have to do it together cooperatively. So yes, especially with everyone's advice here, I am making a lot more conscious effort to be sure to keep our noise level down. Please also do your responsibility too and communicate with tact. Learn about how to do so if necessary. It is a very important skill that must be learned. There is already more than enough fighting in this world and I prefer a world of peace, like I assume everyone else does. So I hope to conclude this thread peacefully.

we all collectively apologise for giving you our advice when you asked for it.

We now realize that you simply wanted us to tell you it was all right to make noise.