Dear visitor, if you know the answer to this question, please post it. Thank you!

Note that this thread has not been updated in a long time, and its content might not be up-to-date anymore.

Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/19 23:31
I'm a 47-year old married American interested in pursuing a friendship with a 30-something year old Japanese lady who works in the same building as I. We have talked briefly a few times and she has responded to a few emails. Since I am married, I really do mean to pursue a friendship, nothing more (unless she moves in that direction sometime later, but I will never push). I would like to give her a gift and was thinking that White Day might be a good opportunity. I have been researching White Day, but I'm not sure what to do. She did not give me anything on Valentine's Day. Is it appropriate for me to get her something on White Day to express my friendship, or would that be considered rude or make her uncomfortable since she didn't get a gift for me on Valentines? If I got a gift for her on some other day than White Day, what might be appropriate? I don't want to make her think that I'm pushing for anything other than a friendship.
by M Griggs (guest)  

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/20 08:33
How about asking your wife? I am sure she would have plenty of ideas and suggestions on the subject ;-)
by SEA monster (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/20 10:06
Since she didn't give you a chocolate on Valentine's Day, you really don't need to "return" anything on White Day. Remember it is a day to "return" the favor not to start, unless you are hoping something you can't tell your wife to happen.
by . (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/20 10:13
Stay committed to your wife!
by jin (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/20 12:38
Give your wife a present instead.
by M (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/20 14:08
1. She is in her 30's - so most likely married (and maybe kids)

2. You are married

3. She did not give you a gift for Valentine's Day

4. White Day is to return a favor, not give a present

5 and conclusion:
Tell your wife you want to give this japanese lady a present.
If you do not want to tell her
- get divorced
If you feel uncomfortable telling her
- this is how the japanese lady feels as well


by asdf (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/20 20:01
If you really want to be just friends, then invite her to dinner at your place. You and your wife could host and then you can all meet each other. If you can't do that because you aren't comfortable with how your wife may feel, then there are ulterior motives beyond "friendship". If your wife doesn't think inviting her is a good idea, you'd end up having a clandestine friendship with her and that's not a good thing either....
by John (digs Japan) (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/22 09:25
Seems to me that although you say you won't pursue her, you're hoping that by giving her a white day gift she'll approach you for a relationship. That'd be convenient, as you could put the blame on her rather than taking responsibility for your actions and desires. I don't believe that your intentions are innocent for one moment.
by Mrs M Griggs (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/22 10:30
I'm repeating what other already said, but...

You are almost 50 and still want to play with a woman almost 20 years younger, if SHE indicates it?!

Please, grow up and start acting appropriately to your age.

I'm sorry for your poor wife!
by Oro (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/22 12:03
As noone (including me) really gave you an answer to your question:

No, don't give her a White Day present. Ask her for dinner with friends as this is very common here in Japan and you get the chance to know her a bit better.
by asdf (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Should I Give a White Day Gift 2012/2/26 08:36
Thats never OKAY!
by Sushi (guest) rate this post as useful

reply to this thread