How can we reject the locals politely?

Hi all, I will be visiting Tokyo in March and my brother's Japanese friend wants to meet me and family. We wrote to each other through emails a few times and contacted through Facebook as well, but we are not that close. But I would gladly meet him. I just have one concern, and that he would play the role of host too well, ie, try to pay for this and that etc.

So is it ok if I refuse if he wants to pay for say, meals? I mean, one dinner or lunch is acceptable but anything beyond that is too much for me haha. And he doesn't stay in Tokyo but Yokohama and I am already appreciative that he's coming to Tokyo to meet me.

What do you suggest? He's retired.

I guess you must know his personality already if you have that concern... with a retired man with some English language, a family acquaintance, a good sense of responsibility, I kinda see what you mean :) Yokohama to Tokyo is a commuting distance, so I would not place too much importance on that (though of course that is kind of him!).

If he is really eager to be the host, there isn't anything you can do. But if you feel that he is trying to treat you to one too many meals, you could try tactics like asking him to pick a good place for the two of you to dine at (because you don't know the area) and tell him you will be paying for the two of you in return. If he invites you to his home to dine with his family, for example, you might offer the same with the whole family in return for the dinner.

Or if you mean that you don't want to be meeting with him too often for meals in the first place (no matter who pays), you can politely decline saying you want to explore Tokyo on your own at times - for the sense of adventure or whatsoever. That would be OK. Enjoy your stay in Tokyo!

angela,

Why not tell him you prefer to go to the non-touristical local places where you can enjoy some Japanese junk food? If you happen to be the poster with the toddler, you will have a great excuse for avoiding expensive places. You can also limit your time with them by saying you need to move around "on your own." That way you have less time to share meals and admission fees.

But if he wants to pay a lot for you, just let him do that. He probably enjoys it. And if he is much older than you, you deserve it, too.

...-san and Uco-san, thanks for the advice. I will graciously accept his goodwill then :)

If you happen to be the poster with the toddler, you will have a great excuse for avoiding expensive places.
Yes I'm that same parent.:)