Dear visitor, if you know the answer to this question, please post it. Thank you!

Note that this thread has not been updated in a long time, and its content might not be up-to-date anymore.

Asking Japanese father for blessing 2012/5/16 03:52
Hey Guys, I am thinking about asking my girlfriend of 3.5 years to marry me. I was wondering if there was a special way I had to go about asking her father for his blessing?
by Will (guest)  

Re: Asking Japanese father for blessing 2012/5/16 11:22
Nope.

If you have a good rapport with her parents it's like in any other culture, a sign of respect.

He will be pleased that you formally asked him.

I asked my father/mother in-law but they already knew it was coming.
by jin (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Asking Japanese father for blessing 2012/5/16 11:40
I can't answer this but I just wanted to wish you good luck :)
by UK Traveller (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Asking Japanese father for blessing 2012/5/16 12:54
I followed jin's approach and everything went well.
by guest9432 (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Asking Japanese father for blessing 2012/5/22 16:42
There is a special way to ask for the blessing of the father in law. It is called Yuino. It was originally part of the process of an arranged marriage - you would have a "nakodo" or go-between organise the meeting of you and your parents with her parents. etcetc.

Not used much nowadays, but the nine gifts they used to give would have been very impressive if you showed you knew them, especially if you got on well with the parents. You could have had a lot of fun with it if it was done in the right spirit. They are:

Kinpou - monetary gift.

Hakama - a type of Japanese split trousers. represents fidelity.

Naganoshi - is a type of clam, representing longevity.

Shiraga - White thread (hemp), representing the wish that the couple should grow old and grey together.

Konbu - dried kelp, representing healthy children.

Surume - is dried cuttlefish, representing the wish for a long marriage.

Suehiro - a type of fan, representing a happy future.

Katsuo-bushi - dried bonito, representing virility.

Yanagi-daru - a cash gift used to buy sake.

Going out and having a few shochus with the old man is another way... it's up to you!
by gdaynate rate this post as useful

Yuino? 2012/5/22 22:40
There was ceremonial procedure, called yuino, for blessing in old time. But it was different in each area and it has been simplified now. (What is kinpou, hakama, nagonoshi, suehiro and etcetera ????
In 21th century, I think those exist only in old movie).

Generally at the first meeting with father in law, what you need are suit, necktie, some presents and politeness.
by LL (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Asking Japanese father for blessing 2012/5/23 05:57
Had I known this I could imagine my In-laws would certainly get a kick out of this coming from me.

You could have had a lot of fun with it if it was done in the right spirit. They are:

Kinpou - monetary gift.

Hakama - a type of Japanese split trousers. represents fidelity.

Naganoshi - is a type of clam, representing longevity.

Shiraga - White thread (hemp), representing the wish that the couple should grow old and grey together.

Konbu - dried kelp, representing healthy children.

Surume - is dried cuttlefish, representing the wish for a long marriage.

Suehiro - a type of fan, representing a happy future.

Katsuo-bushi - dried bonito, representing virility.

Yanagi-daru - a cash gift used to buy sake.
by jin (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Asking Japanese father for blessing 2012/5/24 03:32
No! Yuino is not a ceremony to ask for blessings. It is practically an engagement ceremony.

You ask the father (as well as the mother!) first, a bit more casually but not too casual, and THEN both parents start talking about whether they should skip the yuino or not, and if not how formally you want to do it.

Don't prepare for yuino until you know you're blessed!
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

reply to this thread