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About taking a bath together 2012/5/22 00:02
Do Japanese couples (not yet married) take a bath/shower together? Is this thing really common in Japan?

Thanks!
by Kachi (guest)  

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/22 08:22
No, it is not common. The average bathtub is too small to accommodate two adults. It is just not practically feasible/enjoyable.

At an onsen resort, the best baths are usually gender separated, so couples don't enjoy them together, either. But in some places there are private onsen baths that are popular among couples.
by Uji rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/22 12:03
I often take a bath or shower together with my boyfriends but not at home as this would make my parents feel uncomfortable and as Uji has stated its not really a good size. The best place to do it is one of the several love hotels in my area.
But i think you need to give more information to the question. Do you mean bathe together in just a general platonic cleaning sense or something more erotic and stimulating?
by Ayame (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/22 12:44
I think he means taking a bath together in just a cleaning sense like scrubbing each other's body. I was just surprised and could not believe at first when my Japanese boyfriend suggested this to me that he wants to take a bath together. He also told me that this (bathing together) is in some way a sign of being open with each other as this is "normal" among couples in Japan, according to him. It's not that I am thinking of other things, I am just not comfortable showing my body. Then later he told me that I should at least be considerate with such customs.
by Kachi (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/22 14:30
You gotta love the skills Japanese men have to get their naive western gfs to take off their cloth...haha
by Diggy (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/22 15:30
Kachi,

Couples, married or unmarried, who enjoy sex with each other might take bath together, but if you say you are not comfortable showing your body, then I assume you are not in a sexual relationship with him. Then it is NOT common at all.
by AK (guest) rate this post as useful

NANA 2012/5/24 02:47
I think it's universal that there are couples who prefer bathing/showering together and those who do not. Actually, I think it has little to do with the size of the bathroom or tub. No matter how small the bed, lovers squeeze each other in if they really want to. Same with baths. I mean, hey, people have sex in flight lavatories.

This issue is stretched out in the popular manga "Nana." There are a couple of 20 year old girls, both named Nana. One loves to bath with her boyfriend, the other does not, but this one gradually becomes comfortable with it, eventually convincing her boyfriend to be comfortable. All they do is to chat in the tub, really.

I can understand very well that showing your body and having sex are two different things. You can have sex without taking off your clothes or having the lights on, while this is not possible when bathing (or at least it doesn't mean much to bath in your clothes).

Even if you do have sex under the light, butt-naked, it's still often not the same as bathing, as the tention is different. It's like prefering a certain type of sex and not prefering another.

Also, a family bathing together just to save time and a couple bathing together for affection are two different things, too. In the former, all you have to do is to get your business done, while in the latter, you sort of have to figure out what to do with the atmosphere.

Meanwhile, traditionally in Japan, there is the custom of scrubbing another person's back as a favor. This can be done among couples and it is also done by your children or the likes of old professional guys. The scrubber doesn't have to be naked to do this, and the scrubbee is free to use a towel. It's more of a practical thing than a sexual thing. Something more like washing the dishes for someone, or you can say that it's a bit like shaving someone's legs.

This back-scrubbing is getting less common as there are lots of bath goodies these days that save you from having to rely on someone else.

By the way, being a Japanese woman, I can hardly recall scrubbing anyone's back apart from when I perhaps scrubbed my dad's when I was little. I was never comfortable with bathing with my boyfriends either. Have I had sex, naked, urgent and passionate? Well...
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/24 05:24
I don't take baths. Only time is with the better half.

We shower together a lot of the times.

If you're not comfortable with your own body I don't think you could ever have a comfortable relationship.
by jin (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/26 06:10
I have enjoyed a bath with my boyfriend before. We had both already showered and wanted to enjoy a mineral bath together. It was for relaxing and it was nice, just talking and relax. We were both small people and fit comfortably. I went to US and the baths there are very big but so shallow. I have bathed with my husband in the US but we place bubbles in for modesty. It is nice to relax with a hot bath before sleeping. I don't think most people in Japan take a bath together unless the bath is large enough or they are small people. In the west, it seems a romantic thing to share a bath.Maybe your boyfriend wants to enjoy a romantic time with you.
by hirosumi rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/26 09:42
Have I had sex, naked, urgent and passionate? Well...

Oh Lord! Did you have to say this? And then nothing but three dots and my imagination racing on and on ... how very cunning!

It is nice to relax with a hot bath before sleeping.

... seems like the surest way to fade away in Japan --- Japan's health ministry is to launch an investigation into bath-time fatalities after it was estimated that 14,000 people die every year in the tub - three times as many as those who died in car accidents. (Source: The Telegraph)
by SEA monster rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/28 01:00
OMG, SEA monster, I just had the best laugh ever about your comment! xD
Idk, whether it ought to be funny, but for me it was!! Thank you! ;)
by Oro (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/5/28 06:11
Like to read Uco's writings! She is like a teacher :)
by Module (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/6/2 20:53
Um... even at private onsen baths attached to your room, the idea is to enjoy the hot tub together and scrubbing each other's back. I mean, no one is spying on you, but if you feel like engaging yourself in more intimate activity, please use the bed or futon, not the bathroom, please. Please think of other people actually using the same tub afterwards.

I guess it's not expected like that at bathtubs of love hotels, as they are different places.
by onsens are for bathing (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: About taking a bath together 2012/6/4 20:17
The above poster wrote;
but if you feel like engaging yourself in more intimate activity, please use the bed or futon, not the bathroom, please. Please think of other people actually using the same tub afterwards.

Even as a Japanese, I'm not if I understand that. Whenever couples bath together, be it among the Japanese or among say Westerners, it's basically done in a private bath. And private tubs are always washed thoroughly before another stranger uses it.

It's the same thing as beds. People might make babies on hotels beds, but sheets are washed thoroughly before another stranger uses them. You cannot exchange a tub into a new one, but neigher can you a bed.
by Uco (guest) rate this post as useful

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