A fat lady being fat in Japan

In about 2 weeks, I'll be leaving for Japan to study at a university there for a year. I'm about 5'6 and 300lbs. While I'm not necessarily self-conscious about my weight (I did it, after all :P) and am generally happy with my body the way it is, I was wondering what kind of reaction I'll get in Japan. I don't want to be bullied for my size in a country that taxes large waistlines and has a different, typically (as I understand it anyway) more extreme idea of thin than what I'm used to, although I'm not thin by any stretch of the imagination.

Honestly what I guess I'm asking is am I going to be made fun of or mocked or messed with or are people going to generally keep their comments to themselves?

Like in any country i guess there is no clear answer to that. Not every fat person gets mocked here, but some do. I think especially in High School Japanese fat kids have a hard time, but let`s face it, thats the same in any country.
People will talk behind your back, that`s a given.
The Rest depends on yourself and the people i guess. If you show you are a happy person and don`t take some whispers personally i think you will be fine.
btw japanese love diet so if you come here and lose some weight and show you give it your best they will love you for that and it will make a big impression.

Dear Op

I have bad news for you.Yes you are right most japanese are zddicted to the idea of extreme thinness.A uk size 14 is called very fat and uk 12 is still fat.

I would advise you to just overlook those people who will bully you to mind their business.Chances are rare that they will mock you in your face as you are an foreigner but be prepared to be ridiculed behind your back.

You are probably 2-3x the size of the average Japanese of your height. So yes, there will be comments behind your back, but mostly likely this will be discrete rather than outright mocking. And you will be stared at in public, a lot. The other thing is that, particularly when speaking in English, Japanese people don't consider it rude to make discuss your weight with you - "Why are you so fat?" "Is everyone in {your country} so fat?" "What do you eat to make you so big?". They don't mean any harm by this - but are generally surprised. My colleagues frequently mention my weight and joke about it with me, especially when around food (I am 6' and over 200 pounds).

In terms of practical problems - you will not be able to find clothes to fit in most Japanese shop some bring enoguh for all seasons and you may encounter problems with transport: you will probably need to book 2 seats to fly over to Japan as well as if you fly domestically. You will have extreme difficulty in fitting in the narrow standard class seats on shinkansen/limited express trains without spilling over into your neighbours seat. You will take up more than space than a normal person on a commuter train if you sit so better to stand otherwise you might get some negative comments from other passengers. Maybe you will have a bicycle in Japan and walk more and the extra exercise combined with a healthy diet will help you to shed some of your bulk.

You should expect lots of overtly loud whispering and comments about your size, especially from kids.

You can also expect stares and comments when you go into any type of clothing store. The, "doesn't she realize there is nothing here that will fit her" stare will be everywhere.

As mentioned, people are not shy about asking how much you weigh, what you eat, where you buy clothing, and other very personal questions (including the correlation to your love life). Also, don't be surprised if people (women) try to touch your stomach or chest as if trying to measure your fat. There is a lot of rude curiosity in Japan.

Yes, many of the social norms seem to not apply to fat people. Keep in mind though that the average Japanese woman weighs 110 lbs (50.5kg) and many are below that so "fat" is atypical and treated as a sign of a lack of discipline and self-control so your body weight is used to judge you as a person.

Speaking as a 5"10" male 350 lbs that spent 3 weeks travelling the country, i can just echo what the previous posters have said with two exceptions

a) i found the train/shinkasen seats weren't as sardine sized as i had thought. I was able to use them instead of my green car seat when the occasion arose.

b) i didn't experience any of the "rude curiosity" from kids or adults. Nor am i naive to think that they didn't say anything once i was out of range. Aside from the 4 sumo wrestlers, i only saw *two* obese japanese in Tokyo. It sticks out like you can't even begin to imagine. Even chubby is a rare sight.

There are only two chain stores specializing in large clothing and i think they are only for men. So you need to do your research before you arrive.

Good luck.

I'm overweight (considered the obese range since my BMI is higher than that 30% mark, I think it is) and at the doctor, my weight was higher than 110kg (not saying what it was :-P), but also 177/178 cm, give or take. Seems I'm in between 177 and 178. Given my height alone, I knew it was better to bring my own clothes. That's tall for a woman here (and back in the US) when the average height of a Japanese woman is what...about 158 cm (about 5'2, maybe?). So, I'm big and tall. Clothes definitely aren't an option for me as big girls, apparently, are a rarity. Big guys have a few more options in comparison. I would advise bringing your own clothes.

As for whether or not people talk about you...they probably will. They're very open with weight over here, even though I've never been directly asked about it.

This time around, though, I'm working at a kindergarten. Now they would say things like you're fat or whatever, but not in the, "I'm being a bully and going to tease you" kind of way. Just an observation they're making. I just ignore 'em.

I don't think you'll have trouble on the trains or the plane and most of my weight is in my middle, where I would need a seatbelt extender, but I don't. You probably won't have much trouble at all. The Shinkansen seats aren't narrow at all, imo. Only reason I would use the green car (reserved seats) is because the seats literally recline and have more leg space.

Thanks for your input, everyone :)
I tend to make a lot of comments about my weight when I'm around people, anyway, so I don't think I'll have a problem with people asking me about my weight or talking about it. I mean, I am fat, and it is my fault, so I don't really get embarassed about it. It's always been my logic that if you're the first person to call yourself fat, then you won't have to worry about who else is saying it behind your back because you already went there. I carry my weight mostly around my midsection, and I've never had trouble on airplanes or anything like that before, so I think I'll be alright. I don't usually spill over, so to speak.

make your 1 year trip to japan a chance to lose weight.

it is very easy to lose weight quickly in japan. when i came here originally i weighed around 90kg which was far too heavy for my ideal. within about 3 months i dropped 10kg and over the next 3 years i dropped another 20 (with some ups and downs, but basically i'm at a very healthy weight now)

while you're in japan choose your food carefully and please don't eat junk food like mcdonald's etc.. as there are much more delicious and healthy alternatives available.

besides that fact if you don't lose weight you'll have a really tough time finding clothing that fits and while winter is not too bad as clothing is baggy, summer will be horrible because clothing gets super thin and skimpy and there'll be very few shops carrying your size. but necessity forces progress!

Two of my neighbours were short and fat, to put it bluntly but truthfully. The daughter always wore tight grey sweat pants and tops that emphasized her many rolls. Her hair was hanging limply and she looked unhappy, unattractive, boring..

The mother always wore dressy pant suits. Pants with wide legs--not too wide but wide enough that they didn't cling to the legs. Her tops were loose, went down to the tip of her fingers and didn't show her waist. She often wore 2 layers of tops in thin fabrics, the top one pleated and partly sheer...then she had flowing thin long scarves.

So much so that she gave the impression of being a thin lady underneath all that flowing fabric.
Her face was always nicely made up, her hair perfectly done. Best of all she had a lovely infectious laugh...one never thought of her as fat, she was too attractive for that (obviously there was bad feelings between the 2 but that wasn't my business)

I often thought that it would have been easier for the mom to watcher her diet (we went for breakfast in a restaurant a couple of times and both women ate such huge plates of junk food I thought I would put 10 pounds just looking at them) and exercise a bit instead of spending 2 hrs first thing in the morning to look like a movie star...just to put the garbage out..

Please don't put yourself down. Don't call yourself fat as you just reinforce your negative feelings. I was a chubby teen male, unhappy, and became the class clown, making fun of other kids and the teachers to prevent them from making fun of me. Not a good feeling to be bitter.

What saved me of myself--we are often our own worse enemy was the fact that I would have to go the following year to the physical exam for the army (in those days all men over 18 had to go to the army for 2 years --unpaid).

Much as I didn't like exercise, the army etc. failing the medical for being too fat would have been shameful and also would have prevented me to get a good job afterwards. First question in an interview was always "were did you do your military duties?"

So I changed my diet, ran in the woods with my dog as my only witness, went to a gym. I hated every second of it at first...then I started to accept myself as the pounds went down..and enjoyed working out. I even changed school so that no one would remember me as the fat one with a nasty mouth...

Moving to Japan may be your chance to find yourself. First you need to be brutally honest. One doesn't become fate just because one eats too much. One eats too much because one is unhappy about something. The food is the shield behind which one hides.

One of my colleagues once lost 100 pounds--took her well over a year. Then she panicked..men were smiling at her, some were asking her for a date...she went back to eating. Now she is in her 60s and very ill. being morbidly obese means death is sharpening her scythe..

Okay, wow.
I wasn't asking for advice about losing weight, and I certainly don't think I'm 'putting myself down' by calling myself fat, just like I wouldn't be putting myself down by saying that I'm brunette, or by saying that I've got brown eyes or short fingernails. Fat is an adjective, and I really don't think my body image is any of your concern. I think it's bordering on rude and definitely inappropriate to claim that I'm overweight because I'm unhappy, because I can guarantee you that that isn't at all true. While I appreciate your obvious effort to help me 'find myself', I think I should point out that I've already found myself, so to speak, and I'm perfectly content with who I am, right down to my brown hair and eyes, short fingernails, and the fat that hangs over my belt when I sit down. I am not in denial about the adverse health effects of obesity. I also realize that most people don't find obesity attractive. However, I feel that if I can come to terms with that, other people should be able to accept it, too.

I did not come to this forum asking for advice about how to trim my waistline in Japan. I came to this forum to ask about social implications of obesity. I wanted to know how people are going to react to me so that I can understand how I need to present myself, and I intend to present myself exactly how I feel; Like a strong, confident person with a mind, a soul, and a personality.

If I drop a few pounds on my trip, fine. If not, that's also fine. If I wanted to solicit weightloss advice, I think there are forums better suited for such a venture, don't you?

I'm insulted that anyone could find the audacity to imply that all fat people stuff their faces out of pure emotional duress, and I really think that it's unnecessary to imply that I view myself in a negative light just because I say that I'm fat.

I like to think of myself as a very body positive person. All bodies can be beautiful. Fat, thin, pale, dark, scarred, burned, freckled, whatever, and I think it's really disappointing that people have trouble believing that people who aren't conventionally beautiful can still consider themselves beautiful.

Perhaps I'm being far too agressive. Perhaps I didn't make it entirely clear that I don't hate myself, or that I'm happy the way I am. Well, I'm doing that now. I /am/ happy. I /don't/ hate myself. I'm enjoying my life very much, and I've never, ever felt at a disadvantage because of my weight except for times like this, when well-meaning (?) strangers decide that I must be unhappy, and that they know what's best for me. If this is the sort of atmosphere I can expect in Japan, then I'm certainly going to have to learn to tone down my incredulity because I can't do this every day. I like to think, though, that most people can believe someone when they say they're happy.

I'd like to thank everyone who posted legitimate advice and an answer to my questions. It's the reason I came here, after all.

If you are interested in losing weight (and that's if you want to, not saying you should), you can probably do it without doing anything. I take that back, you probably will. Walking around everyplace and not driving helps a lot. You'll probably shed some of it without realizing it.

I wasn't trying to lose weight when coming here, it just sorta happened naturally. I had to walk a lot. Unfortunately, can't say the same for this time around. I do walk still, but the weight is coming off slower because every place I have to go, is close, including work. Before, I was walking, at a minimum, 2 miles a day. Now, I barely probably get in a mile. lol

There is some great advice above.

I am in Japan every summer for about 1 month and I always lose weight. This is mostly due to the fact that I have to walk 15 minutes to the train station every morning and evening and the summers in Osaka are a natural sauna. Before leaving for Japan I highly recommend getting used to walking and have some comfy shoes.

As mentioned above bring enough clothes to last the year.

The most important thing is to enjoy the experience of living in Japan and learn as much as you can.

i think it's a bit ridiculous that you'd come asking people if it's OK to be fat in japan and then get all uppity when people tell you that basically it's not ok and that you will have a hard time finding clothing to wear.

several people who were in your same situation kindly explained their success stories in losing weight in japan (or elsewhere).

if you didn't want advice why did you post?

this place reminds me of a mental health forum sometimes..

LOL! Good one, winterwolf!!

Hmm, I saw someone ask about how a fat person would be looked at in Japan, and I saw several
people answer that question.
I then saw some people choose not to answer the question, but to lecture on being overweight, like it was a problem to be solved? I know this comes from trying to be nice, but it's not what was asked, it's like me asking what J-Pop bands are good and getting a lecture on how I should listen to K-Pop. To be honest that might have happened on here somewhere...

I then saw some people choose not to answer the question, but to lecture on being overweight, like it was a problem to be solved? I know this comes from trying to be nice, but it's not what was asked, it's like me asking what J-Pop bands are good and getting a lecture on how I should listen to K-Pop. To be honest that might have happened on here somewhere...

I cannot but agree with every word above.

I recently traveled around with an obese person who visited me in Japan and I can tell you the experience was really surprising.

People talk behind your back yes, but they'll also talk RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU thinking you don't understand Japanese. They'll make any range of nasty comments about how big you are and how your size is a representative of America and all foreigners (regardless of whether or not your actually American). You'll get looks of disgust at restaurants and even staff who are supposed to be professionals can be rude and gossip right in front of you and other customers.

It was just really strange because as a not-fat person, I don't get treated like that when I go out, but when I was with him, it was so different, embarassing, and admittedly angering. I knew they could be rude but it was more than I expected.

I think that's the difference, though: you may be okay joking about your weight with friends and acquaintances but those people may be laughing WITH you. When it is strangers and staff who are supposed to be professional, can you still laugh it off? To me, it is worth pointing out to them that they're being rude in those situations...

In all honesty, Rabbityama, it may be considered "rude" to westerners, but not to the Japanese. They talk about weight all the time like it's no big deal. As a matter of fact, it's okay for a gym teacher to get on his/her students about their weight as a way to get them to move or do more in gym class. I know in the US, that wouldn't fly at all and that teacher would probably be approached by very angry parents for pointing out that their kid is fat or whatever, as that can come across as very cruel and mean.

In my case, I ignore it. Usually, when traveling, I'm in my own little world anyway. The same goes when I'm back home too. Usually, I ignore what people are saying/doing around me and in my own little world. No need to listen to other people's conversations.

being fat in japan IS a problem to be solved - you can't get decent clothing if you are fat in japan!! when i came to japan i was fat, i lived with this problem! i couldn't find anything to fit me properly! since then i have gotten much thinner and now it's all good.

it's not like people are hating on you because you're fat or something ridiculous like that. go into a men's suit store in tokyo and you'll see the pant waist sizes stop at around 90cm. that instantly removes half of the american male population from that store's potential client base.

for women it's even more tough.