please read my story and give opinions

i am from singapore and last year i met a mid 30's divorced japanese lady at my workplace and im in my mid 20s. prior to working here, she has been to aus, nz, and europe to work (all less than a year).

for the 1st few months we rarely talk, even if talk, just normal conversations. things started when i offered to be a tour guide for a road trip when her friends from japan visited her.

soon we started to travel around south east asia countries together .. just the two of us.. and all of a sudden we are couple.. holding hands. hugging.. kissing... and since we work at the same company, we see each other often, talk alot and go out and have dinners together almost everyday. also appreciates and thank me alot for always listening and giving her suggestions and advice

things changed 5 months later after we are together where she said she wanted to go back to japan as she doesnt like to work in the current company and have a lot of stress... from dec to mid january this year, we are still together and even go for overseas trip during the new year... dinner everyday...until

her japanese friend came last month for sight seeing and company giving her allowance to have free meal in hotels, everytime i ask her out for dinner or just for meet up. she said no, no , no, ....

when i ask her why.. she said nothing.. just very stress at work... even told me to leave her alone....its been more than a month and shes like totally become a stranger all of a sudden...

question is .. why is she behaving this way ? am i just a tool for her to use? why from loving couple (maybe just me?) can change this way overnight......

and the reason why she married her ex hubby shock me the most...well.. i have a lot of details about our relationship... feel free to ask if cant understand my poor english :(

I think you'll get more of a response if you don't leave out the juicy details!

Oh no, itfs ThatGuy again...

Okay, I just want to say hugging, holding hands and kissing donft make anyone a couple, itfs just the feeling youfre having at the moment that time makes it seem that way.

It seems like to she is getting home sick and want to go back home because all of the family, friends, memories are there. If you were married to her maybe the rules would apply differently and you may have to travel to Japan often (or live there) and maybe she would have to work part-time and be a house wife but dudec

Dude you broke one of the 10 commandments of relationship, gThou shalt not ask my girl friend, friend outh (not girlfriend).

I am lost between whenc
gshe said no, no, noh and gwhen i ask her why.. she said nothing..h
Which girl said gjust very stress at work... even told me to leave her aloneh, the main girl or the friend you ask out?

Now if the main girl said that, Ifm guessing her friend (the one you ask out) must have said something to her about you asking her out which may have mess up your relationship. But she 5 years older than you and she been married, but I would love to know why she married her ex-husband.

Trying to figure out women (or a woman]implys that you are trying to "fix" something broken. You can't fix this. Or perhaps even much understand what happened.
What you can do is to be the best you can be
and try and put this behind you, as hurtful as it is.

Perhaps she has done you a favor. Pulling back or going away before you get in deeper and she really breaks your heart even more.

Write her a letter of goodbye. Enjoy what you had, and re-channel your energies.

Irrelevant why she is not into you anymore, she isn't. Just move on, you are a young man. Agree that she may have done you a favor by letting it die on the vine. (Your English is fine by the way)

If you can tell us why she married and divorce to her ex hubby, then this might be a clue for reason why she stop seeing you.

she said she married her ex husband due to he tried to commit suicide when she refused to marry him.. she felt bad.. therefore married him =.='

also divorced after a year after her ex hubby failed in business.. took all her money... i said.. why u told him ur atm pin number? she said perhaps it was too simple , he just took my card while i was away and took all my money out... =.=

btw i asked her yesterday you dont want to go out with me anymore?

she replied... im not go out. so i think no more.. sorry

.......................

also when i asked her why changed suddenly? what happened...

she just told me... i dont know....

what???

Hmmm and that's after her friend visited? Umm is it a guy?

married guy with 2 kids as per her...
ive seen him too... 40's

Maybe seeing that guy from Japan with his family made her long for life back in Japan. Maybe that guy suggested a position or a job back in Japan. Maybe she has been stressed so much that she simply needs a break from everything (including nice aspects of her life there, including time with you, sorry to say) and think about her life. Who knows, but if she doesn't feel up to meeting you now, the best you can do is keep quiet.

ThatGuy here again...

I have stumbled on this when learning Japan culture and I learned and read about this before traveling to Japan. They are documentary about suicide in Asian countries. Some businesses do have their employees take classes to avoided committing suicide.

If you truly understand for Asian men gfailure is not an optionh than you should understand his action. I do support her action on why she married him and gave him access to her bank account. (Plus they are married come of you both should have some kind of access to each other account.)

Here a link to a documentary called Security life of Japan which covers this a little. I visited one of these site in the video when I visited Japan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFud9pqqdHg

After watching this video you should understand why he took all the money from her bank account, he was trying to keep the business and give the business its final life or to pay off the business debt. I feel for him. Unless he was a theft

Ifm going to be honest and no disrespect to her or you, but her ex-husband most likely took his own life after she left him.

Thank you for sharing this with usc

Now, it seems like the relationship is over let her go and help her if you can back to Japan but donft go back to Japan with her.

Wow, her previous marriage life must be really disaster.

It seems like she is really confused and lost. She probably miss her Japan life and I am suspecting with that mystery guy she hang out probably said something to her that made her change her mind especially he is single and close to her age. She might realize that she better off with him because he live in Japan?

I am sorry for your lost and that really sucked when things went great in the past then all of sudden she change out of nowhere and cut off from you. That really wrong and she should have told you reason why she no longer want to be with you instead of leaving you out totally confused.

maybe if she wants to go to japan maybe she's homesick and was reminded of it when her friend went there maybe try to bring a Japanese feel to your relationship like learn the language, try chopsticks, maybe instead of going out to dinner surprise her with a home made Japanese dinner heck even try to do a mini celebration on days of festivals in japan

The "guy" that came to visit.
You're sure it was just an "old friend"..??
I've got a feeling it could really be the ex-husband..??
That would explain everything......