falling for my boss what to do

About half a year ago my manager got replaced by a new younger one.
he's about 28 and very attractive,
recently I've been having dreams about him and suddenly got very attracted by him.
Now here's the problem: he's engaged.
but he's still acting very nice and always smiling at me.

I'm really confused because I want to tell him so bad, but how? I don't want him to notice (in case he;s not into it) , I can lose my job

Another thing, we work at the gym, and therefore he has a great bod too.
In about a month we have 'personal meetings' to talk about progress and goals at the workplace.
which makes it more uncomfortable for me.

what should I do?
Should I surrender to my feelings and flirt with him/ tell him? (and how)
or should I forget it because he's engaged? (Really would hurt me , and I don't want to be a relationship wrecker)

Also he is japanese and i am caucasian.

love to hear your thoughts

Put yourself in his place. Imagine you are happily engaged and starting a new job as a manager and some guy who works for you starts flirting with you and telling you he has feelings for you and that you have a great bod.

How would you feel?

better yet, how would you feel if someone wants to wreck your relationship?

darn phone. Any way, he's engage. I wouldn't want someone to wreck my relationship. Would you like that to happen to you? I had a women who was trying to get with my fiance while I was away, and boy was I really irritated. He's nice to everyone, so I guess being nice gives people the wrong idea. I'm glad my guy told her flatly he' s already got me. He didn't told me, but his friends told me she was really embarrassed and cut all connection with him. I think you should keep it professional at work if you think it might cause you your job.

how old are you liftgirl

Is this serious? Nowhere in your post do I see anything about you liking him, all you've written is about his body and how you're attracted to him, which leads me to ask why your topic title says you're falling for him? He's engaged. Do you really want to try and sabotage his possible future marriage and job so that you can bang him a few times?

I would just hit on him in the next "personal meeting". What have you got to lose? If he is committed to his future wife he will tell you that. If you don't try you will never know...GO FOR IT GAL!!!!

@ daai maou

I would be GAME ON DUDE!!!

What goes on in the locker room stays in the locker room!!! ;)

No harm no foul ;)

Her job. Plus a relationship wrecker.

to respond:
Im 23.
And its not just about his looks or whatsoever.
Its more than that.
Colleagues always tell me he spends more time on me
And to be around me.
However I Still doubt if its the right thing to do.

And I don't know how I would Feel if I were in his situation because I haven't been in one. But I do like honesty and to let your mind speak in some situations.

Tell him how you feel, be blunt.. Show him how much he means to you, share your dreams and ambitions! You guys could be perfect, more perfect than his fiancé!

If it doesn't work out drop me a line ;) Big Ed is always ready to comfort broken hearts ;)

You know what, I have a feeling you might go for it anyway. Do it and see what happens. Whatever the outcome, it is what it is. If someone want to end their relationship for a fling, then no one can stop them. You want to wreck someone relationship and exclaimed that you feel bad, b.s. Do it and don't pretend to be all "I feel this, I feel that.." Someone who is easily taken, can also be easily taken from you.

Maybe he spends more time on you because you need help doing your job properly.

You better drop this and move on. I can tell you why.
First, he is your boss. You could lose your job because it too personal and he is engaged.
Second, he is engaged for god sake! Respect him and stop stealing his love life! You are the one who is being selfish and only care about yourself and not others.

How would you feel as his fiancee that you really love him and can't wait to marry him until that there is a girl like you confess her feeling to your fiance that will wreck your dream and emotion.

This is the stupidest post I have ever seen.

I don't feel bad for girls like you if you got stupidly rejected. It doesn't matter if you are caucasion or not. Why state it? Just because you're caucasion you have a chance to snatched this guy from his fiance?! Stupid.

Whoooaaa lady!

- Find a new job before you hit on your boss. Even if he is receptive, you could still lose your job if the business does not like employees dating employees.

- Don't be shocked if he does not feel the same way you do, and be even less shocked if he goes to his superior and has you fired for approaching him.

- If he DOES choose to cheat on his fiancee with you, please remember that even though he did it WITH you, it doesn't mean he won't do it TO you if someone even better comes along.

- Not to mention the fact that if you're found out HE could lose HIS job and be sent away in disgrace!

This is foolish at best, and insane at the core. Have more respect for yourself and your workplace. You will be the talk of the office if anything happens, again assuming you don't lose your job first. And that should have been an assumption from the beginning.

I believe you need to find some good friends to talk to, or find out if your workplace sponsors an employee counseling service. It sounds more like you are feeling very lonely, and getting stars in your eyes over the attentions of a man who is attractive and probably very different from the kind of man you are used to dealing with. This is not much different from how many other people feel as well, and there are always people willing to help if you need it. You can feel free to message me whenever you'd like if you need to talk this out further, but please don't make a mistake that will jeopardize your career or your personal life.

hello,

I am on the other side: My boyfriend is Japanese, sweet, hard working guy, almost same age as the "Manager".

He spends time with the assistants at the work place. I know that there might be some who might fall for him.

They as well know about us living together.

If I think that someone might declare to him or try to get his attention I would become upset.

If he gives you the impression of being happy in his relationship, why do you have to go that far to create problems to yourself and make him feel very uncomfortable?

Lastly the fact he spends some time with you doesn't mean anything concrete. it might be as well that he thinks you need still training or just him being friendly to a 23 years foreigner in Japan. Think about it.

Honestly, I think this girl want someone to tell her it's o.k to be a relationship wrecker and seduce the guy. How would you like it if you have a boyfriend/husband/whatever and I suddenly try to steal him away and throw myself at him? "hey boy, I know you're engaged/attached, let's get it on" How does that feel eh? Well, don't do things that you wouldn't want people to do to you. Girls like you annoys the crap out me. Hey, I'm no angel, but I know what not to do. (and once a cheater, will cheat if he does bang you)

Your just a kid, you should leave him alone, control your feelings and respect his engagement. He's already taken, go find someone else!

@sarah

You need to lighten up honey...

You said it yourself...you aint no angel..so I take it you have been involved in a couple of nasty situations yourself? DO TELL!!!

If your partner cheats its obvious something is missing in your relationship. I don't see here actions as wrecking a relationship.. maybe she is just adding something on the side of an existing relationship that needs to be there for the primary relationship to function? She needs to confront this guy in a way he won't misunderstand... like suddenly appearing naked in his office or sending him photos of herself. It will either work or it won't. I think she has a good chance! Go for it Gal!!


Now Sarah, tell us about your evil past deeds.....