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How long before can show interest in JP widow
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2014/5/19 11:17
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A Japanese woman was married to a guy I know. He died about a month ago. He was 30 years older than her. She is now in her early 50s. I am in my late 50s. He brought her to the US 17 years ago. She speaks and understands some English, but not much. Her husband kept her very sheltered and she doesn't know much about how to handle her affairs after his death.
I have gone over to her home about 5 times to help her with her affairs. I have found that I am falling for her. I know that she loved her husband and is still grieving. What Is an appropriate amount of time to express an interest in her. I do not want to disrespect her by showing interest too soon. But, since I don't understand the Japanese culture, I don't want to loose my chance with her because of perceived "lack of interest". She is a great woman and I don't want to give her the impression that I have no interest in her. I am almost done with helping her and will have no legitimate reason to contact her except to see how she is doing. I have a hard time understanding her on the phone, as she speaks very softly.
I am thinking of telling her that I was considering learning Japanese as a subtle way to express interest, without making it personal to her (it would have to cross her mind that I would be learning Japanese for her, correct?)..... Maybe even ask her to help teach me.
Any advise will be helpful
Thanks in advance.....Daniel
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by Daniel (guest)
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Re: How long before can show interest in JP widow
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2014/5/19 15:47
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I'm not an expert but I think it really depends on the person to how long they grieve before they begin thinking about their future life. I've read some people entering new relationships a few months after their partner's death, but it really does depend on how long they were together, if they were happy etc. Personally I would keep distance for at least a year and help her out whenever she needs it, but that's just me.
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by Everlongdrummer
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Re: How long before can show interest in JP widow
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2014/5/19 21:01
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I'd give it two weeks....maybe three.
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by ... (guest)
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Re: How long before can show interest in JP widow
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2014/5/19 21:44
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traditionally, 49 days in mourning.
Learning Japanese and teaching English is great idea.
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by ken (guest)
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