Kind of confused

I am here for an internship, and i met a guy, actually he is my colleague. He can speak english decent enough so I kind of always talk to him for doubts etc etc. He started taking me out to places to see nearby places. Actually I am an indian girl. He started liking me and I sensed it, told him our relation cannot work out coz i am here for temporary, and i didn't want to indulge in any short term relationship as of now(coz i broke up recently) but he kept on bugging me and one day i told him, ok but if don't come back to japan again, you shouldn't hate me.

After we started dating, I kind of started liking him, i am so confused now, whether i really like him or is he just a rebound to forget my ex. He is a very good guy and cares about me a lot and the fact i am leaving home early making me sad. I will miss him a lot. I have a chance of coming back, but if i come back it will be for him as main and career wise second option

I don't know whether he is worth the risk for coming back because i don't about him completely. I do not want to get hurt again. We have huge differences, extreme taste in food, culture and language. can all these differences be worked out??? SO damn confused. Any suggestions please...!!!!

It really depends on you and the guy and what you want to do with your life. Do you want to live in Japan or does he want to live in India? My friends (both Japanese) have been married for over 20 years but they have different careers in different countries at different times and have lived together for only a few years in total, but they are still good couple so for some people something like that can work too.

Intercultural relationships can work for some and not work for some. But even if you are of the same nationality, it wont work for some couples. Sometimes intercultural marriages work better because you don't take anything for granted. You can come from the same culture and same region and still you can get divorced because you can't stand some differences between you.

So it's really a personal thing. One thing I can tell you is that you both have to be ready to accept and be flexible and most of all loving each other. Good luck.

Those differences probably can't be worked out. They need to be accepted.

If you haven't accepted them, you might not be able to have a successful relationship in the long run.

I suggest talk with him about it in great length. Asking strangers here can only get you so far, but working out these issues with him would be better.

Yeah we know the culture differences and we talk about them and we both feel bit stressed when we go out somewhere, we don't have a common ground in food... that is the major difference we are facing as of now, i am a pure vegetarian and in japan getting pure vegetarian is very difficult and even though i find something I don't like the taste of it, the moment i take the food he realizes my expression and says sorry and he feels bit stressed about it... a lot of food goes waste or he eats sometimes...and language we have common ground. I know it's too early to think about future but I really like him and I talked to him yesterday regarding this, he said he will wait for me in Japan, and he started taking me seriously, he introduced me to his friends, he is telling everyone we are dating etc etc.. but what if I don't come back.. I have a choice between America and Japan.. I told him, he said it's your life, your career, you decide but right now I really like you and I will wait for you...

What should I do??????? I also really like him, but given a chance between America and Japan for career, everyone including my parents are telling me to opt America...and i if go it will be very long distance relationship and it kind of doesn't work because we aren't that close to each other coz we just started dating. I want to tell him this, what if he gets hurt and starts hating me. I don't want to lose him.

Well, what are you career prospects in Japan and the U.S.? How important is your career to you, assuming you get married and start having kids?

Well whatever decision either America or Japan, I will stay there for a longer time like 5 years or so and if I like to settle down there I will settle down. So, seeing the pros and cons America has more pros than japan career wise

What is more important to you. Will you regret it if you choose your career over him? or Will you regret to let someone you like slip away for your career? Go out and relax your head from this for a while, and I think by then, you will choose what's right for you without any regrets. Good luck :) You make your choice, don't let others make that for you.

You answered your own question. Your career is way more important than this guy to you. In fact you make it very clear that compromise is not something you would do for him so let him go and find someone that really is for him and not waste his time.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but the way you have put things about him is about as cold as it comes. You aren't confused just looking for reasons to justify a decision you already made.

I haven't made the decision yet, I am confused in way that if i opt Japan and what if things doesn't work out for us, then my life would be hell. Since our relationship is too short to make long-term decisions, I am unable to make a decision. That is what bothering me, I really like him, just being cautious that I should get hurt again, because we our common grounds are very short, and extreme differences are there. Initially it will look cool, but thinking of long term is kind of scary.

Here is well known quote... "If you are confused, don't choose this path because there are high risk you will regret it. Choose to be with someone that you comfortable and clear is what you want." Since you still confusing, leave him and continue your career and your life. Eventually you will find a better man.

Your relationship is too short to make a long-term decision... you really like him and will miss him, but you aren't really close because you haven't dated that long...eating together is very stressful (that's a huge negative, by the way; eating together is an important part of a relationships)... careerwise you think America has better advantages...you don't want to hurt him and you don't want to be hurt...you have cultural differences... your family wants you to go to the U.S.... you have little in common and extreme differences... Initially it will look cool but long-term is scary...

Life has risks. Relationships have risks. International relationships have even more risks. Based on what you write here, I don't think you are ready to accept those risks at this point in your life. Not meant as a putdown, more as an acknowledgement that you are at a very important point in your life where going through some doors will permanently close others, and you still want to keep as many doors open as possible. That's OK, that's not a bad choice, it sdounds like the best strategy for you right now.

But you should be nice to this guy and cut him free, let him find happiness with someone else, while you go to America, get your career off to the kind of start you hope for, and then start looking for a long-term mate. I'm sure he is a wonderful guy, but why get yourself tied up in knots over someone you do not profess to love?

Good luck, whatever you decide.