Chessie,
I think that clarifies your project a little bit better.
But again, (A) yamato nadeshiko is not about phyicial appearances at all, (B) it's hard to pinpoint what you'd call "ideal", because preferences differ dependiing on the person, and (C) if you're seeking "tradition" it totally depends on the era, because in the 8th century fat women were considered the most stylish while today people's preferences seem quite the same all over the world.
For example, some girls may want to look like super models while a lot of boys prefer girls who are not too boney. Also, even if you are a girl who wants to achieve a super model figure, just as it is in most countries, there are dozens of ways to reduce your weight. Some might just not eat rice at all and take more meat and vegetables instead, while others say you should eat more while excersizing more as well.
Meanwhile, the most common weight reducing diet for non-athletic women in Japan is to control the amount of calories she gets per day, but how she obtains that amount is really up to her.
That said, the most typical way to order food at a restaurant in Japan is to either ask for ordinary portions of cooked rice (180`200 grams) or "o-mori" large portions (250`300 grams).
Also, the following are just examples of menus that add up to 1800-2000kcal/day which is the least a grown woman should take, but too little if she needs to be active. Each green square shows an example per day, and within that square from top to bottom is breakfast, lunch and dinner.
http://foodstock.blog.so-net.ne.jp/2011-12-06Commonly, girls adjust her calories by avoiding too much butter, cream and sugar and obtaining "non-calory" material such as seaweed that in fact has lots of minerals. Girls also prefer to obtain a lot of fiber as it helps to keep a healthy bowel movement which eventually allows you to stay slender and healthy at the same time.
Again, these examples are all about modern women though, and not traditional women.