Japanese stop socializing after high school?

I've heard and read several times that Japanese socialize a lot during their high school years, but after that they don't make a lot of friends anymore, they don't go out with new people anymore.

Seems like university is not the best place to socialize, in Japan. On the contrary, in my home country we tend to socialize much more in university /college than in high school.

I've also heard that the best friends of a Japanese person are the friends who were met in high school.

I would like to know if all this is true or not.

Seems like university is not the best place to socialize, in Japan.

On the contrary. In Japan, university is one of THE times to socialize with schools sometimes appearing to function more like social clubs than learning institutions.

I agree with yllwsmrf! I was an exchange student in Japan during college and everyone was highly social and wanting to meet new people.
Izquierda, I think you need to not listen to silly rumors like that!

Are you planning to go to University in Japan, or are you compiling a list of all the weird stereotypes you have read about Japan and that are all wrong ..

Where in the world do you get all your wrong info?

I've also heard that the best friends of a Japanese person are the friends who were met in high school.

This part has nothing to do with "not socializing after high school" (although most people do socialize after high school). In fact, I think it may be quite universal that your best friends turn out to be those you were with in high school.

It makes sense, because in your high school ages you are mature to a certain extent and yet you are still vulnerable. So you sort of end up "growing up together" just within the three years of school and you share a lot, however, you were old enough to remember and cherish all that.

The other great factor is that high school classes do reunions the most while jr high and elememtary ties were too naive to continue the effort, and college don't really have homeroom classes (they do, but not really). Also, still in this day, not everybody goes to university while most kids go to senior high school. Additionally, almost everybody attends high school in their home town while they may move alone elsewhere for university.

I agree with the OP,

have stayed two years in Japan at a very well known university, they tend to socialise a lot during college years.
Though the bond created during high school years with those mates stays forever.
My boyfriend is Japanese, and he went as well to another famous uni, Keio, his very close friends, he meets on a regular basis back in Japan are the ones from high school.
No mention about university ones.
Same with others I know.

Sounds more like you're disagreeing with the OPs premise that people don't socialize after High School.

Btw, socializing after high school and having high school friends remain your best friends are not mutually exclusive.

@Life in the other lane:
yes those are the stereotypes I've read, that's the reason why I post this topic, to ask if it's true or wrong.


@yllwsmrf:
If you don't make new "best friends" anymore after high school, I'm sorry but it means that you have socialized less than before. Unless you decided by yourself not to trust the people from the outside, i.e who didn't grow up with you at school. It would be quite sad to think so, as there is no ideal age to make friends.

@yllwsmrf:
If you don't make new "best friends" anymore after high school, I'm sorry but it means that you have socialized less than before. Unless you decided by yourself not to trust the people from the outside, i.e who didn't grow up with you at school.

No, it doesn't.

Sorry, I thought the OP meant "best friends" in terms of "good, better, best". When we were in high school, my aunt used to say that the relationship between high school mates tend to last longest so we shouldn't take our mates lightly, but that has nothing to do with making new friends after that. Most people make "best friends" in terms of "extrememly close friends" both in high school and after, or of course even before high school.

Also, I wonder what age range or generation you're talking about. For example, if a person is fresh out of college and is working abroad, it's natural to assume that the person has not yet had the time to build a deep friendship in his/her current situation, because he/she would be too busy building a career. Additionally, he may not have had not enough time socializing in his/her college in Japan, because he/her was busy studying abroad. Then naturally, the person would turn to his/her high school mates when coming back to Japan.

But I'm 52 (and Japanese) now. After long years of not seeing my college mates, we reunited when our kids grew to be similar ages. Then we didn't see each other for a long time again, but reunited again when one got sick. Also, I always had a casual friend since 23, but I didn't realize how close we were until, 3 decades later, there came a time we needed to drop everything to help each other.

So there's a time in your life when the only people you can "feel at home with" are your high school mates. And, yes, that tendency can be stronger in places like Japan where one tend to scatter in college and then get very busy after graduation. But that doesn't mean you don't socialise or can't build a deep friendship later in your life.

In fact, for me, I always had thought that the least friendly people were my old high school mates. But now that we've overcome a lot of things (including distance, thanks to the internet) I realise that they were always there for me, and that I can go on not seeing them for ages and then meet up and suddently chat about parents and slumber parties like it was yesterday.

Back to the topic, university bonds tend to be so tight in Japan that we even have a word for it: Gakubatsu. This gakubatsu is even prohibited in most companies nowadays, because it's so strong that it may lead to lack of teamwork when those from other unis are present. We used to do gakubatsu get-togethers descretely and it was great fun with colleages of all ages from the same uni.

In any case, Japan still enjoys "igyoushu-kan-kouryuu" (socialising with those from different careers), "tate-gata-shakai" (the bond often too tight among seniors and juniors of a uni circle or career), "yoko-no-tsunagari" (the wider bond different from the tate thing), "mama-tomo" (mom-friends), "neko/inu-tomo" (pet cat/dog-friends), "chou-nai-kai" (street block communities) and so on.

But I must admit that nowadays the "go-ji-kara-otoko/onna" (the after five guys/gals) are fading, as the younger generation prefer to skip the booze to go home to their wife and children.