Shrines and tempels itinerary

Hello everyone!
I am considering various temples, shrines and Castles to visit. With 4 children in our family (8, 12, 13 and 17) we will go to Tokyo, Nikko, Kamakura, Miyaima, Himeji, Osaka, Kyoto and Nara during our 21 Days trip.

I know there are a lot of famous shrines, castles and tempels at those places. Our time is limited however, so I have to prioritize the number of sightseeings. Whenever we travel through Europe we usually visit a number of churches. However, our children sometimes find this somewhat boring, and increasingly so with the number of churches visited.

So my questions are:
1. How many and what temples, shrines and Castles should we prioritize?
2. In Nikko we will go to Edomura. Could we skip Toshogu and other masoleums and go for Nara and Kyoto?
I am afraid we cant do both Edomura and Nikkos shrines and tempels on same day.

Thank you.

There are lots and lots of temples/shrines - around 2000 just in Kyoto alone. There are many web sites recommending best 20, or 10, or 5 temples - those web sites are good references. Or you can start your own criteria (like: those with pagodas, those that are listed in UNESCO World Heritage Site, etc.) or just start wandering the streets of Kyoto and you are likely to come across many. If you want to avoid crowds, try smaller unheard-of temples where you may be the only visitor in the whole place. One word of advice is to not over-do the temples, or they will all start looking the same.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_World_Heritage_Sites_in_Japan

Especially for kids, I think they will enjoy temples in Nara. Because there are wild (semi wild) deers everywhere, even within the temple/shrine grounds. They are quite tame and oh-so-cute. You can buy Shika Senbei (deer cookies) to feed the deers which should keep the kids entertained. Kasuga Shrine is on the top of my list in Nara. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kasuga-taisha

If you are interested in pagodas, there are four temples in Kyoto with 5-story pagodas, which was my personal criteria. They are:
Toji
Daigoji
Nin-na-ji
Hokanji

The fifth shrine I had to visit, because it is the shrine for God of Sake, Matsuo Shrine.

I can image that young men are boring just to see old temples and shrines.

It might be good idea to go to show style attraction like the following at first, then they might be intrested in the old cultures.

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g298564-d321414-Reviews-...

After knowing what is samurai, ninja, real castles might be intresting for them.
Hikone castle is my recommendation, the castle is the original one and you can see the real katana yoroi at the museum.

A recommendation to make it very interesting would join the morning e ceremony when visiting a temple.
Narita-san, for example, has a ceremony starting every hour and you can just walk in and sit down (after taking your shoes off) :-)

With your teens and pre-teens I would probably suggest a rule of thumb of balancing each temple or shrine with a more "entertainment" attraction. Tokyo Disney, Universal Studios Osaka, any Sega or Naruto-type arcade, one of the Japanese one-off theme parks that you can find on this website, maybe something along the lines of the Osaka Castle reconstruction with its samurai emphasis. If you are really adventurous, there is a Ninja school/museum/show in Iga-Ueno 45 minutes east of Nara. I keep meaning to find the time to go out there; it does require calling for show times and DAYs, and will eat up a day. Read about it in Destinations, Kansai. Follow a 1:1 ratio of temples to fun and your kids will have a great time. Oh, did I mention the Manga Museum in Kyoto...assuming that at least one of your kids is into that. I'll leave it up to you to determine whether Akihabara and Ikebukuro and the "otaku" culture are appropriate for your crowd. Good strong PG-13 and beyond; read up. Enjoy your trip.

Your children are old enough to be involved in the planning. We used Cynthia Harriman's "Days to Choose" method (see her book "Take your Kids to Europe" for details) but the general idea is everyone comes to a family meeting with ideas of maybe two or three things each person wants to see. Everyone gets some input and agrees to participate in the choices of others. From these suggestions you build an itinerary. Sometimes it works better if an adult lays out the route then the family contributes suggestions of activities in those locations. We use a Captain for the Day approach where the captain plans meals (chooses restaurants) as well as activities.

It takes some "group mindedness" but in my family at least everyone is willing follow the Captain's plan knowing that each will have a turn. On our trip to Japan we saw some of the sights everyone sees but we also went to a bird refuge, a baseball game, a video arcade and a Samurai house.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your advices.
/Ekaterina71