how to say ‘'how rude’‘....

As a short, chubby, blonde woman living in Japan I have been in some situations that I know I am being talked about, (but my japanese is not very good), alot of usage of ''sugoi'' and such, followed by laughter. I find this very rude, as the dictionary has ''sugoi'' meaning ''uncanny, weird, ghastly''

Do Japanese really believe they are better than everyone? Especially the younger generation, they seem to be consumed by appearances.....Aren't foreigners much more common to see in Japan now??? So don't tell me that's the reason.....do they not think there are more important attributes in a woman than being considered PRETTY or dressed in designers??

Sorry I'm on my soapbox...and don't get me wrong I love Japan...If I was back home I wouldn't even care what other people thought...I'd just give em a nice #@%* you....I guess I'm feeling the blow harder here because I can't understand completely (the language) to stick up for myself...

Anyway, in this situation how can I say to them, ''how rude'' or something like ''you should have better manners''....

Thanx so much for reading this

I would not say that "sugoi" means what you said - it's just a way of saying "wow" or "great." Sugoi is not an offensive word in itself. Though they may be saying "Wow, look at that foreign girl over there!" or something.

But if you feel that they are saying bad things about you, then you could say "shitsurei da yo" or something - "rude" is "shitsurei."

I agree with sazae-san; "sugoi" by itself is a "wow," "cool," "awesome," "great" type of comment, not what the dictionary told you.

But I agree with you that you would want to say something when you feel others are making bad comments about you.

- Shitsurei ne! (How rude!)
- Kikoeta wa yo (I heard you)

I could come up with sharper comments but would not want to encourage fights :)

As a foreigner in Japan who does not hve a full control of the language (like me), there is a big danger of making wrong assumptions about other people and their attitude towards you. If you are not careful, you may end up ruder than the person you assumed to be rude.

During my earlier days in Japan it happend to me a few times that I suspected a person to be hostile towards me based on facial or body expressions or comments, but later that person turned out to be extremely friendly.

As a result, I basically never bother about any comments or looks from strangers unless they are 100% unmistakable. But in a foreign culture, it takes a lot for a comment/look to be 100% unmistakable.

The street slang for "Shitsurei" is "Shikkei na", with the "na" being used like "Desu ne". If you're being defensive, there's no point being polite about it =)

You can always scold a person by saying "Shitsurei ne!" and such, but I've seen better ideas.

When you suspect or even are sure that someone is being rude, just say,
"Nan desu ka? (What is it?)"
actually, with a friendly smile.

I was once on a crowded train in Japan when a bunch of teenagers (in fact, who looked Japanese but spoke good English) were cussing out loud in English. I suppose they thought that no one understood, or they may had been partially showing off, but I noticed that some local-looking people including myself were being bothered by this.

After a while, a caucasian gentleman in a suit, out of nowhere (he was rather short, and did not stand out in the crowd) started talking the kids, saying things like, "You speak good English, did you live in the States" and such. Clearly, this gentlemen knew that the kids were bothering people, but he didn't mention about it.

The kids in fact responded politely, and they all had a nice English chat. It was when the gentleman finally got off the train when the kids said "Ah, bikkuri shita! (Wow, that got me!)"

I've also heard about kids cussing at elderlies, but when the elderly says something comical and nice, the kid would calm down out of embarrassment. Eventually the crowd surrounding them would feel nicer too.

Funny how humans react to things. Just a thought from another troubled teenager's mom.

Once when I was walking by two older ladies, one commented to the other on what large feet I had (not an original thought, by the way).

I am sure they did not expect me to understand this Japanese-language comment, but I could not resist smiling and responding (in Japanese), "But they get me where I want to go."

Sometimes a gentle rebuke will have a bigger effect than lashing back, IMO.

Thanks for all your replies! I really love all the views and advice on this site.

About my first post, I don't even consider myself that large. I am about 30-40 pounds overweight (if you go by those dumb height/weight standards) but I'm proportionate. I am 5'2" and wear size 12/14 which is average for american women.

I do realize that Japanese have a different standard of thinness. Personally I don't see why men (or other women) like women who are so skinny and have nothing to hold on to, but hey, to each his own.

But as I said on the previous post, why make comments at all? There are alot more foreigners living in Japan now (than say 20-30 years ago), so aren't they used to us by now? Blonde, overweight, or whatever.

And everyone knows that the U.S. is the fattest country, so why be so surprised that an american is a few pounds overweight? And hell, I've had two kids.

Oh well, on my soapbox again. I apologize.

Umm...I didn't know that~! D:
How Interesting,
just came across this,
thought it was interesting
so yea thx ^-^

I think you're paranoid. Uji has it right.

is it really necessary? Can't you just shrug it off? I know it can be hard (heck, it took me ages to get used to the staring), ...but i think it's better to grin and bear it rather than causing a confrontation. It will only make you look rude, not them. Particularly since you're a foreigner, it is quite possible that you may be misinterpreting them.

Usually, I just give them the middle finger. All the Japanese seem to understand it well enough.

I'm only half kidding. Don't forget the power of facial expressions. When speaking a foreign language, many of us fail to remember how'd we act via our native tongue and tend to stand there, as though we're void of emotion, while we're trying to remember enough to hold a suitable conversation.

Don't try so hard.

Michael

This term at times used for expressing something that is overwhelming.
Example: seeing a flood afflicted Louisiana (Katrina) they would say "sugoi". Seeing poverty afflicted African nations first hand, they would say "sugoi" to express horrow and sadness.
But mostly sugoi is used in positive ways to my knowledge.
I think your conscience may be pre-existing before you came to Japan eventhough you said you wouldn't care how people react to you back home.

You say you can speak some Japanese so as others suggested, you should reply to whoever is making comments about you by saying "nandesuka?" as other poster suggested or in similar other term or make comment about that person in a nice way.

I have found while teaching here that comedy is best used when confronting Japanese. Many times when they seem rude, they themselves don't realize it. I think it may be a curiousity thing, at least with my JHS kids.

One of my third years recently called me kimoi, thinking I didn't know what it meant. She was just being a brat, and I responded with "Shikkei na..." and she turned bright red. Her friends also got a good laugh out of it, they totally didn't expect it. This girl goes through phases. One day she is an angel, and other days she is just a spoiled brat.

Other students comment and get laughs about my looks, but I never take it in a negative manner. The first time I told them they were being rude, they got really quiet and apologized, but I found out later that they didn't realize it.

Best way to get Japanese to really shut up is speak English to them. When they start making me uncomfortable, I just start asking them questions in English and it throws them off guard. Most Japanese can speak, or at least understand a bit of English. Even if you speak Japanese, its fun to play dumb to jerks and talk to them in English. Japanese have answers drilled into them, so if you ask how they are they will most likely say "Fine thank you and you?" so when you ask them if they speak English, they'll most likely say a little. Take that as an open gate and just pop out easy questions. "Whats your name?" "How old are you?" "Are you in school?" Usually they get really nervous and uncomfortable and will try to escape.

If you're feeling really cruel, just casually corner them, and keep proding with English questions.

At the end of the day, they may keep saying stuff about you but you know you made them feel really uncomfortable in a completely friendly manner.

What works best for me so far is just show that i heard and understand them when theyre talking about me. In the elevators of the girls university where i studied the girls would always assume that i didnt understand japanese, since that was the case for all but 2 of the (caucasion) foreign exchange students at that school, and whevenever they talked about me i would turn around and comment on their cute clothes or their nice hairdo or mention how nice the weather is today, and theyd be shocked out of their minds hehe.
Also the flight back to my country i was seated next to a japanese businessman, i think he was about 40 years old or so.. I was very sad about going back, and couldnt help but crying a few times all alone in my seat, and the man next to me (i was in the window seat) talked to the guy on his otherside, speculating about what was up with me. They talked about me a couple of times over the next few hours and i didnt feel like doing anything about until i had to go to the restroom and asked them politely to make room, in japanese. Haha they looked really shocked, and they sure as hell didnt say anything at all about me anymore the next 5 hours of the flight xD

Well I get stared at when I'm walking about. I visit my friend and it never fails to get stared at i'm 6'3 and 275 lbs. Thats also not bad weight but i get that a lot people say Sugoi and stare. Who cares thought :) I was standing on a sidewalk when these three guys about in there early 20s kept staring at me so my response to that was "Nanka yö?!" "Jiro jiro miruna-yo!"
Basicly saying "do you want something, stop staring at me." There response was Gomen and made a quick retreat. It all determines how you say it and if you sound like your serious :)

often when I'm with my friends (the ones who look very Western) I hear things I don't hear when I'm alone. Like random Japanese people yelling "Hello! What time is it? I'm sorry!" Just random English phrases that don't make sense. It's kinda rude of them, especially if they're adults... I tried to surprise a group of men before (who were being especially rude and making fun of us) by speaking in Japanese to my friends and only got made fun of more...

How do you deal with this?? Talk to them back in complicated English? I even got laughed at for my inability to read katakana... I wanted to pull out my English text readings and ask him if he could read it for me.

I just don't get it. Are Japanese that rude? They seem like the nicest, most polite people, but now they look so ugly!

they are very kind and considerate compared to other experiences I've had in America, back at home...
But not everyone is goody-two-shoes all the time no matter where you are... so don't let this discussion convince you into thinking that the Japanese are rude people. This is just some of the various upsetting experiences people have experienced before.

Like for me, besides the stares, random people yelling out to me in English. I'll forgive them if they're high school and below... but really, adults need to grow up sometimes.

You guys are all so incredibly lucky! no one ever laugh at me at my face or say something about me to their friends etc. Makes me feel like the invisible man!! obviously --especially the O.P.--you haven't yet accepted your imperfect body and you believe that everybody is talking about you(we are all imperfect and some of the cutest most elegant young men and women are way too skinny). Quite a few people, including me, often talk to a friend next to them while looking straight ahead, not sideways towards the friend --to avoid bumping in people--so it looks like they are saying something to, or about, the person in front of them when in fact they aren't. Another thing: unless you have never ever said anything catty about a total stranger, get over it. When someone say something unpleasant to you/ about you it is payback time for what you said about someone else.