Am I asking too much?

I met a Japanese guy online and we have been communicating since one year.
He contacted me first and then he begun showing a romantic interest in me. I feel the same way about him as well.
We have mailed each other presents.
We both want to be together in real life, however, the problem is that I'm currently unemployed and I can't afford to go visit him in Japan.
He has a job, however, he can't take enough days off to come visit me in my country.
Should I ask him to finance my visitation?
Would it be rude of me to suggest him pay for my air ticket and accommodation in Japan?
Thank you for reading.

To be honest, yes! That's too much to ask for.

Yeah, not a good idea. That does seem a bit rude to ask him to pay.

To be honest, yes! That's too much to ask for.

Let's take a look at things rationally.
OP is unemployed, her online friend is employed.
OP has no income, her online friend HAS an income.
OP's online friend has contacted her first and then expressed romantic interest, OP feels the way too.
Both OP and her online friend want to meet in real life.
Who is more likely to be able to afford a meeting in real life? Logically, it's OP's online friend.
I don't thin she is asking too much, on the contrary, her request is quite reasonable.
Just my two cents.

If he wants to finance her trip, then he would make the offer. It's quite rude to ask him to pay for her!

Thank you for the answers so far.

If he wants to finance her trip, then he would make the offer. It's quite rude to ask him to pay for her!

Actually, he did make the offer. However, I declined. Had I said "yes" to his offer, this would automatically make me a "gold digger" in the eyes of judgmental people who waste their time pointing fingers at others, right?

I forgot to add that I'm the one who shells out the money to buy him nice presents and have them mailed to him in Japan.
The only "monetary" effort he did so far, was to send me something very small only once, which costs no more than 300 yen in total.
I thought I should point this out, in case someone begins with the gold digging guilt trips.

If you're already pointing out the negatives, is it worth visiting then?

If you're already pointing out the negatives, is it worth visiting then?

I just read all the comments.
I don't see anywhere where OP is pointing out negatives about him.
This is a very tricky question, OP...
Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking other people to pay for me (especially when it comes to big expenses such as air ticket and accommodation), much less people I never met personally. Or maybe that's just me.

it is too dangerous.

xyz, read her third comment.

He doesn't see you as a gold-digger, or if he does, he doesn't care. He offered to pay for the trip. Why do you care what anyone else might think?

From his standpoint, if the only thing keeping him from meeting you in person is one or two thousand dollars to pay for a trip, after six months of communicating, it is well worth paying for your trip. Whether he pays for his own trip to your country or your trip to his country, the cost is not too different.

I would do the same thing in his shoes. A couple thousand dollars is nothing if you think you might have found a lifetime partner. (If you can afford it, that is; I totally understand that if you don't have a steady income or savings, a thousand dollars is a huge deal.)

You declined once. Ask him if the offer is still open. Since the only other solution is for you to find a job and save enough money to go, you might as well ask him.

"It is too dangerous" by ken

If you are serious, then elaborate more please.
If you refuse to elaborate, then your message is extremely rude.

xyz, read her third comment.

I read it already and I think you are exaggerating.

Just say something like "You know, about your offer, I gave it some more thought and now I think we should do it." That's basically the truth anyway, whatever reason you had to decline his offer first, it seems that now you have changed your mind. But I do agree with 21:08 that you're sounding a little too defensive about that.

rude ? to whom ?
there is NO evidence that he is a good person. She clearly depends on him financially. there is no way, if he is a bad person.

@...
It's my opinion and I can express how I feel.
If he offers to pay, that's a different thing.

Thank you for your very helpful tips DanH2009!
I will definitely have your tips in mind and try to ask him if the offer is still open.
The first time he offered me, was last year when we had met recently.
I declined, so as not to come on too strong with a person I don't know well. I consider it quite "greedy" to accept such offers too soon by people I barely know.
I much prefer to save some money and do it myself. This way, I still have my options open in case things don't turn out as imagined and I don't have to feel like I owe him something. All this despite my unstable job situation.
Fast forward a year later, my job situation hasn't improved at all and this issue has been bothering me for a while.
He constantly suggests me to come to Japan, get married and start a family together. Meanwhile, I keep searching for jobs to no avail (my country has a terrible economy for the last several years)
I imagined things would be different for me in the past year, such as finding a job, saving some money and finally fly to Japan.
However, it didn't turn out as I imagined.
This has made me feel pretty down and I felt like sharing it here on this forum and why not read what other people's opinions are.

After reading more of what you wrote, I now understand your situation. I apologize if I sound like a donkey. I have friends who paid for peoples ticket and afterward was treated like a coldfish. Well, go for it if he's willing to pay for your visit so you guys could see eachother and spend time with one another.

If you were already an established coupled, I would say it's pretty obvious that he pays for your ticket if that is the only way to make it happen.

But this would be your first meeting in person right? So nothing is sure yet, as much as you can know him from Skype, attraction and chemistry can't really be proven before you are together.

And I think you would be in a pretty risky position to be deciding how much you really like him while already owning him lots of money. What if you decide you are not really that compatible? How free would you be to say no? And how much would he expect from you after having paid to have you over?

I really wish you that you will meet him and you'll be in love and everything would be perfect, of course. But you have to be also prepared for the opposite, and personally I would get really stressed owning something to a man I don't really know that well...