girl has started using chan/kun.. love?

a girl i have been pen pals with for around 6 months has recently started adding chan or sometimes kun to the end of my name when she talks to me (i'm a guy obviously).

we met up for a date for the first time last week and i paid for everything of course, then at the end of the date i gave her a little hand made cloth bookmark shaped like a cute cat. that seemed to go over really well, and she emailed me the moment we split up at the station to go home..

am i reading too much into it or does the chan addition mean she's definitely starting to get into me? besides calling me chan she occasionally makes small remarks that i'd normally perceive as strong signals but in this case i'm just not too sure..

blah, help.

Chan certainly means she is close to you. If the date went well you might as well go out again!

As for me I have been called chan by kids 10 years younger than me haha. And I usually called my boyfriend with san. So there are all sorts of cases.

she definitely wants to go out again and we're already planning our next time out in july when the weather is a bit better and she knows her work and school schedule.

but i'm having a tough time figuring out if i'm already in her friend zone or if it's something more.

You should have kissed her goodnight. I would give her a kiss on the cheek when you see her and hold her hand a lot. Kiss her goodnight next date.

that is way way too forward and definitely not my nor her style. that would be a good way to screw things up regardless of where i am with her right now.

I second secret. Kissing her good night on the first date is way too pushy in Japanese standard. Calling you with "chan" and/or "kun" surely shows a closeness, but it is hard to say if it is love at this moment. It is a begining of a good friendship which can develop into a romance. Good luck.

Friendship rarely leads to romance. As far as screwing things up, if you care too much about her and show it too soon you have screwed up. Why does everyone think kissing is such a big deal? I've kissed many Japanese women on the first date or even first meeting and never had one get upset or screwed things up. I've even told, yes told not asked, them to kiss me with great results.
A woman is attracted to how you act and are wired to go for a Alpha male. Be a man and take control and watch what happens. Even if she gets mad, most of the time they still call back. Plus, there are so many other women in Japan that you will find another. It is only when you act like she is the only girl for you that you do something stupid or she gets bored with you. Look at your past relationships and see if I'm not right. Or see if these relationships were the woman you settled for and not the woman you truly wanted and chances are she got bored and left you. Of course you can take my advice or not, but I was always the ''friend'' until I got tired of getting hurt and being alone. I am now married to the woman I chose and have helped other guys get their chosen partner too. Either way, good luck.

I am no expert, but I think you are doing things right. After a couple of dates, maybe the third or fourth date, hold her hand. If she pulls away she may not be ready for romance. But this will let her know how you feel without being to aggressive. Kissing means much more to Japanese than Europeans, or Americans, so go slow. If you are interested in her romantically don’t go too slow either.

secret, don't worry. She already has an affection toward you. And that's becasue of how you are. You have been doing the right thing.

I think she likes you but maybe for now she just wants to be your friend. It sounds like she really does like you just as a friend for now but when she feels more comfortable it is possible she will want a relationship with you. what girl could resist a nice guy. As for making a move, go with what feels right to you. If it does not feel right don't do it. If you go slow a relationship with her will feel more special. If you want to know how she feels try touching her hand but make it seem like a accident. if she looks happy then you know she likes you. Dont rush it because you may lose her. I wish you luck!

I don't know that chan/kun implies romantic feelings, especially from a guy to a girl- I've known girls who will call their boyfriends chan teasingly, but kun especially seems to reserved for little-brother/junior types, not something you would use with someone you see in as a romantic partner. It could just be her style, but I wouldn't read much into it. I woul dtry being affectionate and see if she reciprocates- I hear from a lot of Japanese friends that they meet nice western guys to be friends with, but the guys always want to turn things romantic and it ruins it. She might not even realize your feelings, so I think it's better to find out soon than drag it on.

we're meeting up later tonight briefly (very briefly since she finishes work late and lives in chiba) so we'll see how it goes.

she's started calling me "her kumachan" so i think that pretty much takes care of whether she likes me or not, but now i just need to figure out if i'm being played by her or what.

hoping for the best! i'm bringing her another little cute handmade thing i made earlier today, hopefully she'll like it as much as the last one :P

update, we met up tonight and though it was only supposed to be for 30mins we ended up spending around an hour and a half and rode back to tokyo station on the train together. it went really really well i think.

i was not able to finish my little handmade mouse pillow thing in time, so i did an emergency shopping trip at the gift shop near my station and bought her a super cute fuzzy rabbit thing, and a jasmine flower in a box and gave them to her.

now she's calling me her cute kumachan so i'm chalking this up as a victory and the start of a new relationship. pretty happy :) about it. hope things continue to go well!

I am really happy for you! I wish you the best of luck. I hope you will keep us updated...

Good for you!

Doesnt Kuma mean bear? Maybe you could make her a bear shaped book mark or something similar. Correct me if I'm wrong but my Japanese teacher uses little bears to mark whos turn it is to talk in our lessons and I swear it was refered to as Kumachan aswell :p

Your story has brightened up my day btw.

the reason she calls me kumachan is because a while ago i mentioned i make stuffed toys and stuff like that for a hobby and profit and she said she wanted to have a bear to sleep with. so i said i wanted to be her teddy bear and since i'm white i guess i'm called her shirokumachan and kumatan now. haha.

i already gave her a fuzzy polar bear cute shape pillow :P

"~ kun （〜君）" is used to address men who are younger or the same age as the speaker. A male might address female inferiors by "~ kun," usually in schools or companies. It can be attached to both surnames and given names. It is less polite than "~ san." It isn't used between women or when addressing one's superiors.

"~ chan （〜ちゃん）" is often attached to children's names when calling them by their given names. It can also be attached to kinship terms in a childish language.

Way to go man for not being a huge sleaze. I hope you have a happy long term relationship!

Wish my wife called me Kumachan :(.

just wanted to post that we're still together and our relationship is very close and going well

looking forward to spending christmas together, we're thinking of going out to yokohama to the ferris wheel and to see some other nice ラブラブ romantic stuff over there :)