Can I be close to my Japanese Girlfriend

Well, I guess everyone is going to read this post, and all the low life scums are going to rejoice! But tonight my relationship with my J-gf ended.
It's a long story Dave, but the bottom line is I think her love for me after our time together bordered on the weak side, and tonight the truth came out.
Well, I'm crushed...but I will survive!
I do hope Umi will be forever happy and I certainly hope things work out great for you!

Sorry to hear that Surfbeat :(
Is it ended for sure? did you ask her why?

Sorry, surfbeat...as you know, every ending can be a new beginning.

Thank you so much for you concern and support, but I have very good news.
It was all a misunderstanding in communication.
She called me early this morning in tears and told me she loves me forever and was very worried that I did not love her anymore. We talked for an hour and then understood how last nights communication got all twisted and misunderstood, what a relief! Now we are both very happy!!!

Gah, what a relief :)
Happy to hear it was just a misunderstanding.. you girl is really sweet, if may I say :)

typo.

Well that gave me a heart attack I can tell you! I missed everything that happened last night. I read about what happen surfbeat and I felt really bad for you =( But then once you gave us all the heads up that everything was OK and back to normal I felt a lot better and am happy that you two are back on the up and up ^_^

After you said "misscommunication" I knew exactly what happened. The exact same thing happened to me a few months back. I didn't understand what she said and took it the wrong way. I asked her to explain but she wouldn't. Finally she sent me an email saying that maybe we shouldn't talk to each other for the rest of the day. I was pretty upset so I said "Yeah thats a good idea I'll talk to you tommorow" I thought the time to cool down was what I needed, to think things through. She comes home and calls me immeditly, crying her eyes out. Telling me how she was crying all day at school. I asked why because she said some really mean stuff to me. After she explained what she meant I understood what she was originally trying to say, and that I was just a reference to some other man she met. Everything was cleared up, I gave her a kiss, and the world keeps on spinning ^_^

When something major like this happens in any relationship it feels like the world has actually stopped spinning. Nothing moves. All your left with is pain, greif, and hurt. But once you get things back to the way they were with your love the world just keeps on spinning and spinning. It's a good feeling I think you'll agree surfbeat ^_^ Especilly now that everythings OK ^_^

Keep the romance alive and don't let it die ^_^

OK. I can breathe now also. I was in tears when I thought your girl broke up with you! I am so glad it was just a miscommunication. Now back to my sweetie. I`ll write more soon when I am not so busy!Keep the love alive!Hugs to all!

Good to hear from you Umi ^_^ Glad your still in one peice even after all the hectic goings on from your wedding, definitly looking forward to hearing about more later on ^_^

Phew. Don't scare us like that! :-)

You and your girl seems like such a great couple. If you or Dave break up, it would scare all the rest of us who are in distance relationships with a Japanese girl.

I'm glad it worked out for you.

No one is more relieved than my girl and I, but I happy you are all relieved too.
I didn't realize I had some many good hearted, caring and supporting friends on this site, thank you all !!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, and I do hope I to never say anything that frightening again! :)

hi i often come here to read
dave's story and i like it. but dave uses ^_^ this kind of face marks quite often, its unusual for men to use them. hehe

Yes, us guys who are interested in Japan often learn a lot of Japanese from j-girls, so we don't really know what words and symbols are "girlish".

^^

Yes I am well aware that the "^_^" Symbol is used mostly by girls. My girl uses it all the time so I started to do the same in my emails to her and it just stuck. Sometimes it's "^_^" somtimes it's "^-^" But when I do it she things it's cute and enjoys it so thats why when I am happy about something I use it often.

P.S. I am glad to know that so many fokes come to read about me so often "^_^"

You can also do this ^3^ too. Take care everyone. Glad to read about Umi and Surfbeat and Dave. Dave just be patient. Soon you will be able to see your girl. At least you still have the lines of communication open. Goodluck!

I forgot to mention something. Don't put yourself down. Give yourself credit. Look how long your relationship has been going. That says a lot about you and your girlfriend. At least your girlfriend has been honest with you. That is more than I can really say about my ex. So you must have a lot of really good qualities and don't forget that!

ok i understood why you use face symbols now ^_^

i met my british bf from the internet too. we were like friends before but we fell in love when we met each other in real life.

he is soooooo nice, i like his personality so much. we have a lot in common like both of us love traveling, cooking, karaoke, shooting games, sports and eating chocolate tee hee. we are planning to go to korea, egypt and south america together. its so cool that we can share the interests.

he will be coming to meet me in 2 months yey. i really cant wait to see him again.

i know most people are negative about online meeting. but we are happy with having each other so i dont care no matther what they say.

Well surfbeat I think there is something going around. Right now I feel like crap. I got off the phone with her a little while ago hearing the word "maybe" used a lot. As in "Do you still love me?" "Maybe" and "Do you still want me to come out west to see you?" once again "Maybe" I have no idea were this came from.

Before the maybes, to me once she gets home she always sounds like she is feeling really down or sad. I always asked if she was fine and the answer was always "Yes" I asked again tonight and she finally told me that she is feeling pretty bad. She then used the words "You shouldn't realie on me" After explaining to me that me asking her quiestions about her day so much makes her get kind of unhappy with me at times. I understand why she said that then because I had just finished asking her why she felt bad. "Did I do something?" to wich she replied "No" I'm the kind of guy who likes to help. She told me there was nothing I could do but..I'm her boyfriend, I want to know what is going on and what is wrong so at least I can understand why she is feeling sad. Heck it made me feel sad just knowing she was feeling sad and didn't want to let me in.

As the conversation went on I felt worse and wors =( Finally leading to her asking me how I would felt if she left me. This question is not new. She's asked before. But this time the timeing along with all her "Maybe's" made me very worried and feel bad. I told her I would be sad as heck. But that I wasn't surprised that I had done something (who knows what) to make her not like me. I seem to do that a lot with women. They like me, then something I either do or don't do makes them extremly dislike me.

She followed up after my answer of how sad I would feel by saying "forget what I just said, don't even worry about it. I won't leave you" This made me feel like she is staying just so I won't feel like crap. So I told her "Only stay with me if I make you happy and you love me. If you no longer feel love for me and I can't bring you happiness tell me why and leave" To wich she said that she wants to stay because she does still love me, and wants to be with me.

She had to leave for a second and hung up. At this point I feel like total crap. Like I screwd up another relationship. I'm nto upset with her or anything. I love that girl with all my heart. When she was in Japan everything was fine. It wasn't until she got over here and spent a few weeks that now we are on shakey ground.

So she called me back, and told why she is feeling so bad at the moment. Apparently some girl at her school (also from Japan in the same program) is bad mouthing her and her good friends because they missed meeting her somewhere. She's spreading romers and lies about them and it's makeing her feel terrible. It brought her to the point of tears once (this I just found out) and it's still going on today.

Now I thought that was the reason for all the problems and her bad feelings today. That everything was A OK now that she told me. But no..she is still feeling bad for other reasons (I think I am still one of them) she could hear how broken up I was about the things she said. But she didn't even bat an eye. Thats my sign that I am one of the reasons she feels bad. So the hint that she gave me was that I need to stop asking her so many questions about herself. She feels that..I push to much into her life wanting to know everything about her. Yes I do ask her questions. But it will be about her day. If shes having lunch I ask what shes having. I ask if any guys were honking as she walked by. I guess it's just to many questions for her..so I'll take my quie and just shut up. Will I still be worried about guys making moves on her..yes. But no more questions, and I'll stop asking her to call me everyday. I actually don't ask her to do that but I like it.

Well thats all from me. I don't even know if I will hear from her tommorow..or even the next day.

But I can finish by saying this. If she says that she still loves me and there is no "Maybe" about it, and that she does want me to come out there to see her. I'm not waiting one second longer. I'll scrounge up as much cash as I can. Head out there full speed and give her the biggest kiss of her life and just enjoy the things that we did in Japan. Just being with one another, having a nice date together.

P.S. No offence to the ladys..but "that time" is getting kind of close so that might not be helping very much..but I'm not 100% so I'm not going to ask her and just wait it out to see what happens ^_^

In my opinion, there are a few reasons why she's doing what she's doing. First, who made the decision for her to come to the US? was it her decision? I can understand her feelings, she's in a place that is totally different from what she's used to, in Japan. I think you must go to see her, it's quite risky because she won't expect for you to come but I think you must meet, you can't settle issues like this throuhg the phone.

And that's all what a 13 years old guy without a GF can say :)

Good luck Dave!

Well I still feel like crap. Just got off the phone again. We use to talk four times a day. Three of those for times would just be for like 2-5 mintues. The last one would be for maybe 30-60 mintues. Now she only calls me twice. 1st call is for less then a mintue. Second call is maybe 30-40 mintues. Wich would be OK. Except once she gets home she talks extremly quite. All I get are grunts for "yes" or "no" and because she is so quite I have to ask her to repeat tons of stuff that I couldn't hear when she does say something.

But somethings are still the same. I give her a kiss she says "Thank you" I tell her "I love you" she says "I love you too" and in actuality I don't doubt that she still loves me. I said "I wish we could talk like we did in Japan" that got her ticked off with me again.

I was just saying how in Japan we could have really great conversations for a while. But I understand that she took that as "It's all my fault that we can't talk as much" So I apologized to her.

I guess I just feel like..she has changed in a big way. We use to tell each other how much we love each other all the time. Thats out. We would kiss each other a ton over the phone. Thats gone. She would say how much she misses me. Thats gone as well.

When she is at school she is definitly a lot more like her usual self. She is loud and alive. But it's almost like she is always in public. If shes at school she can't tell me she loves me or give me a kiss. If she is at home she is worried someone might hear her so she always wishpers "I love you" if she even says it to me. Most of the time after I say "I love you" (If I don't say it it dosn't get said) she just says "Me too"

I guess it's just a combination of "that time" and being in a diffrent enviortment so I should just chill.

Still speed is a factor. I should go out to see her soon. Actually I asked when she would like me to come out there to see her. She said "Late May" wich was good. She still at least wants me to come out there to visit her and be with her. I might come out there sooner though. I don't really have the cash though..so the extra time until late May might work out.

Anyways I'm rambling again..talk to you later.