Why do japanese girls always run away?

Yes, I understand :) And respect it!

I will try thoes cafés that were mentioned, it seems like a good place for konversations :)

iOov, I've never been to Sweden, but I suppose you were/are trying to say something along the lines of the following if it were in a grassy park in L.A..

"Hi there, what'ya doing?"
(reply)
"Yeah? Do you speak English?"
(reply)
"Well, I'm Amir. And you?"
(reply)
"Great. How are ya?"

Well, it doesn't translate that way "culturally" here. In a similar situation, a Japanese person will speak like this.

"A, nani ka ochimashitayo."
(reply)
"Atsui-desu-yo-nee"
(reply)
"Dare ka matterundesuka?"
(reply)
"Boku mo machiawase nandesu. Tokorode, itsumo fushigi-nandakedo, asokono biru wa nandesuka?"

On the other hand, your quotes will "culturally" sound suspicious, because Japanese people don't go up to a stranger asking what they're doing unless the person is a craftsman making something really unique. Also, a stranger doesn't introduce him/herself or ask how they are unless he/she is trying to sell something, usually trying to rip you off.

So you're saying the wrong things in the wrong situation. But again, if you talk to someone of the same gender, I'm sure they'll simply think that you want to practice your Japanese.

Btw, have you tried speaking to people inside trains? Trains, either long-distance or commuter, are ideal for speaking to strangers just for fun. I often spot conversation between foreign and local, and I myself have been spoken to by a foreign young man.

Why is it ideal? Because it's safer since people are watching, the other party can't run away on the spot, but they are always free to end the conversation by saying that they arrived to their station. Plus you need less concentration on your stops than the buses.

On a related note however, I was inside a train station once running for my last train and was asked the time by a foreign male who was standing and starring at me for a few seconds. I sincerely told him the time, but turned out that it was a come on. People are actually creepy.

Sorry but the average person just doesn't walk up to a stranger and ask them for their name. I don't know about Sweeden, but even here in the USA, normally random people just don't walk up to you and ask for your name. I was in the mall eating, some random person just walked up, sat down and asked me for my name?? I said, I stood up and left.

If you asked 75 times for the time, don't you think it is also time for you to purchase a watch?

If you want to pick up women or other people that age group then go to a bar or club in Roppongi.

Not randomly selecting people on the street.

I've got to confess that when someone comes up to me on the street, and tries to start a conversation out of the blue, I usually expect them to drop the ''Jesus Bomb'' sooner or later.

I am analysing what they say, looking for what they are trying to sell.

How about asking them for their Starsign next?

Apparently it is a famous 70s pick up line so it follows well with the 50-60's pick up lines you were using!

Just kidding. But seriously its probably too obvious that you are trying to know and go out with the girls. Let's not kid ourselves.

I admit I did exactly the same thing as you did whilst in Japan. The girls there are shy-er on average (perhaps only the ones I was interested in) so you really have to be careful not to relay the creepiness factor into the line opener.

Perhaps you could try being friendlier and give them a big smile and at least act as if you are really lost lol.

John, i suggest you read trough the post before posting. I ask for the time when I need to know the time. I ask for the direction when I need to know the direction.

I say something else when I just want to talk.

Yesterday I went to a bar in Shibuya and started a konversation with a guy. Ended up playing dart with 2 girls and 2 guys for a few hours. Really fun.

Then I went to a nightclub (sucked since the music was to loud to talk). I danced a little and walked out.

Then I saw a group of japanese people. maby 4 guys and 4 girls. I asked one of the guys if you can play poker in Shibuya, they responded that it was illigal. I sand thanks and as I said that one of the guys asked were I was from. I said Sweden, and then one of the girls invited me to sit with them and talk. We sat to maby 07:30 in the morning and just talked.

It was a very fun night allover, I didnt jump up to any random girls on the street (like a scout). And it worked quite well i must say =). I also got invited to go to the bar and play dart with them tonight also.

And please why do you complain about my lined :)? Everyone who complains, please suggest something else. I personally think its best to keep it simple. "Hello, how are you? what are you doing tonight?"

And go from there...

Thanks!

Yeah by the way...The trains!

There have actually been a few times were people have approached me in the trains (if no one else was close) asking were I came from. And started a konversation, mostly about how my country is like.

The age and gender have always been male around 28-35 I guess.

Even two times when it has been raining, many times people stop under a small roof to wait out the rain...

In these situations I have been approached...By same age and gender as the train situation...

It makes me really happy when they do. I know that they only want to practis their english and get some information about my country...But at the same time I always try to respond in Japanese...So its a win, win situation.


Actually when I was out yesterday I ran into a few scouts and LOTS of "massagu" people (who always grabbs my hand if I dont stop walking).

I get so annoyed when someone grabbs me they kind of enter my space without permission. So when they do approach I always say No thanks and keep walking.

Basically the same reaction many of the girls have when I approch (except they run insted of saying no thanks).

But as the night went on...More and more scouts and massagu people approached. And I noticed my own behavior was that at the end of the night. I didnt even say No thanks...I just keept going like I didnt see them...

...So I guess that what these girls are doing. They have been approached so many times they are just sick and tired of if...So they run...

I guess the "magic" is to not be as a scout as much as possable. I mean I tried same approaches in smaller cities in spain, stockholm (and other cities in sweden), oslo, copenhagen, smaller cities in italy and france.

Everyone there stops to talk...But the pattern is that there is no scouts in any of these citias, as far as I have seen. So people dont think you as a scout as fast as you approach.

So its actually not my lines that are incorrect...Only the place and situation maby.

From experience I know that these simple lines work best to start a konversation, or pick up girls in bars or nightclubbs.

Its sounds just stupid to say complicated pickup lines you read in a book.

If one approaches and is natural, with no acts and just says "hello". That alone meens "I have noticed you, out of all 300 people in this nightclub" OR "you seem to be an easy pray for sex".

Its up to the guy to be him self and prove that he isn't just a hunter. (even if he is).

Please correct me if I am wrong.

Sorry of the many miss spellings in my posts. The laptop screen is very small and i'm not used to this small keyboard =)

Thanks!

i wonder why you bother people to ask something , you have to be prepared when you go somewhere .

is your name Amir?
it does nt sound swedish name

i think you came in Japan to have fun with girls, right?

He said that he is from middle east. So he is probably a immigrant in Sweden since it's very common with immigrants from the ME.

Just walking up to people and start talking is common and doesn't make people run away in Sweden. Like, the first time I was in Shinjuku, a scout approached me and started talking so I thought it just was a foreginer who wanted another foreginer as friend. But then he started with "come to my club and get massage etc"

So I think it's just a cultural diffirence. I don't think what iOov does is creepy but now he is in Japan and not Sweden so he should go to a bar in Roppongi, like you said.

Yes, you are absolutely right Carl. Its very common in Sweden, same thing happened to me first time I was in Shinjuku. When scouts started talking, I just thought they wanted to be friends, until they mentioned their club...

I have been in Shinjuku all night clock is 07:39 now, I just came home. I have been speaking to LOADS of people. Both male and female. Not a single person ran today!

Why? CAUSE I INVENTED THE UMBERELLA TRICK!! *hehe*.

When I first arrived to Shinjuku I didnt want to approach anyone to seem creepy. So I just walked around, went to a bar...But didnt find it interesting. So I went to another, same thing there.

I ended up walking around to 02:00. I had such a boring time so i started to try to balance my umberella on my finger. First it was hard, but after 1 hour I could do it really well! I didnt have any thoughts of trying to get attention. I just wanted to do something. To make the time go faster, so I could take a subway home.

Anyway, after 2 hours I heard lots of people saying "sugoi" as they passed...And I saw a few girls trying to copy me 50 meters away. I just smiled and keept doing my stuff.

Then the girls tried to get some attention so I walked over and started to talk with them. They asked if I could learn them...and why not :) We talked alot and I tried to learn them...very unsucessfully tough. But it was fun. They were laughing, I was laughing. Then some of their friends came and they had to go.

I just kept trying to learn new umberella tricks as the night went on, and many people actually came and talked to me! I was SO supprised! (mostly male people who asked if they could try :P)

Abit later I started talking to one of the scout. He was 22 years, japanese. Anyway he was one of the nices people I meet in Japan so far, so open minded and kind. My impression of him was that he was very pure hearted...(he could speak quite good english also).

Even tough he was a scout he managed to stop more girls than any other scout in the area. He just approached in such a respectful and calm way, so most of the girls didnt even run from him! He had atleast 30 second konversation with all girls he approached before they said no thanks.

Approaching girls in Japan feels like approaching a scared cat, and I actually like it that way. (dont missunderstand me)

I dont hope that anyone feels offended for what im going to say now...But I actually kind of wish that Swedish girls were abit more like Japanese. (now im REALLY just guessing). But if feels like Japanese girls have alot more self respect than swedish girls and they seem to be very careful with guys.

That should mean that they are careful with who they go home to and who they have sex with(?).

Unlike Swedish girls (atleast what I think). Its so easy in Sweden to go out one night and get a fast one night stand.

I mean, even tough I think that a person should live life to the edge, and do everything they can, as long as they respect others and dont go over the line. I feel kind of uncomfortable with swedish girls.

Most girls I dated when I was younger. I was maby 19 and they 16. Many of them had sex with 5-6 guys and I have a hard time accepting that. I doubt thats usual in Japan. (but still guessing).

Im not saying that its OK for guys to have sex with many girls. But slutty for girls to have sex with many guys.

I feel the same about guys who had sex with many girls in young age.

(also I shouldnt push all swedish girls over the edge. I meet lots of girls with LOTS of self respect!)

Well Im going way off topic so I will just stop here and hope that no one is offended.

- Cause I want to practis japanese? Isnt that obvious?

- I was born in Iran.

- Yes, i find japanese girls very attractive. But no, I didnt fly half way across the earth to find sex or "have fun with" the girls.

I find the japanese language very pleasing. Its the most beautiful language I'v ever heard thats why I came.

Also, I am a graphic designer / artist and being in a country SO much different from my own inspires me ALOT...Yet another reason why I came.

I've met and gone out on many dates with girls who I've met on the street. (America and Japan) I've also been shot down a lot of times also, haha... But you have to be prepared for that. IMO, the words don't really matter. If you truly are a sweet guy who wants to get to know someone, I think the vocal tones, your facial expression will show that. If you are starting to feel like you're creepy, it will start to show.

It's a numbers game. Unless you know a ton of ppl, you gotta do what you gotta do man. But it all starts with you. It's all mindset. There is some saying (I can't remember the exact words but it's something along the lines of) where you are not who you think you are. In fact, you are not who people think you are. You are what you think people think you are. I hope that made sense. Basically, if you think you are coming off creepy to people, then you probably are. However, if you feel you are coming off as a sincere guy who just wants to speak a girl who you find attractive and suddenly become retarded because of her beauty, you'd be surprised who will respond. And dude, don't forget to ask for their emails/phone numbers. What good is chatting it up with someone if you don't continue the process?

Good luck!

Good to see that Amir is improving his diplomatic relationship in Japan.
just one thing that i can not agree of what you posted before Ami ''But if feels like Japanese girls have alot more self respect than swedish girls ''
well,i come from a country very close to Sweden,and i have been there often,also i live here in Japan from 5 years,and i think many Swedish women are yes,more easy to approach,but in the end most of them are very serious,and they aren't for sure easy,so if you mean that Swedish women are easier than Japanese i think you don't know Swedish women at all.
best wishes.

To the nice guy. You are absolutely right...

To the one saying I dont know swedish women. Im sorry if you think I pushed all swedish women over the edge. (I think I was quite clear that I didnt).

Anyway, so far MOST swedish girls that I have meet have been quite easy going.

Maby I feel that swedish girls are more easy going then japanese, because I actually get a chanse to talk to all of the swedish girls that I approach (since they dont run away).

Anyway I have been living in sweden for about 19 years... I have many, many swedish female friends. From my experience I would say that its easy to find girls in sweden and (most) girls in sweden are quite easy going.