Can I be close to my Japanese Girlfriend

Cute = kawaii in Japanese. (as you may know already)
Japanese are mad about this word. We now know your girlfriend is cute, but maybe you are 'kawaii' to her, too?! Then, I think you two definitely made a good choice with each other. Good luck to you in 2006!

Thank You Francesca ^_^
Yeah I know that Kawaii means "Cute" in Japanese. Yeah I think most people who have read my thread know I think my girlfriend is cute (when we first started talking I was soo nervous..since I had seen a few pictures of her self before that ^-^ when we first talked on the phone, and her voice matched her picture I was tounge tied haha ^_^) But maybe I am cute to her? Well she dosn't say the word "cute" to me..but she does think I am handsome and attractive for her. When she first said that to me I thought she was just being kind..but after talking for a while I realized that she does think I am Kawaii for her too ^_^ Actually thanks to her I've lost 50 pounds ^_^

She got me to drink more tea and less pop, and to eat healthier too. Before her I felt I had no need to lose weight or anything..so she really kicked me into gear. She notcied the change..and she did say she found me more attractive now that I had lost all that weight, so it was a win situation for me. I've got a girlfriend who keeps me healthy and happy ^_^ You can't beat that haha ^_^

But thank you for the compliment about the two of us making a good choice with each other ^_^ Not to toot my own horn but I think so too ^_^ I'm kind of glad we met in emails since..if we would have met face to face I would have been to shy..she's way to pretty..^_^ When she said "Yes" to being my girlfriend on the phone my jaw dropped haha ^_^ That was kind of when I knew that she liked me as much as I like her ^_^

Yeah I think 2006 is going to be a great year for us since we can spend a lot of time together ^_^ I will be a little worried about her being on her own for a little while..but she'll be in the the 48 that are connected so she's just a few hours flight away ^_^

When you gave your girl the couples ring, what did you do about her size?

Thanks

That is a good questions surfbeat..If your like me..you want it to be a surpise for her ^_^ But with rings..you just have to bite the bullet and ask her. Hmm..try to do it in an inocent way saying like "I think my fingers are to small since I wear a size 7 ring what size do you wear?" There are ways she can (if you ask her to) measure to find it out..websites tell you how to use a peice of paper and measure around her finger to tell you the size but this works really badly..I had my girl do that for me and when she told me what size it was acording to the measure ments it said she was an 8 1/2! and I know (since I went to the jewelry store) that I am an 8 1/2! So I actually had to guess..and oddly enough I got it right ^_^

But the girl you want to give it to..is she a..bigger girl then her friends? or smaller? If she is just average go with a size 6 ^_^ Maybe 5 1/2 ^_^ Actually acoridng to all my information it dosn't really matter wich finger a girl or guy wears it on ^_^ But we both like wearing ours on our wedding finger..^_^ But as long as you get a size 6 I think you should be OK and she should be able to wear it ^_^

I'm sorry there isn't some way that you can find out without her knowing. That drove me crazy since I wanted to surprise her with it..but even thought she knew I probably got it for her..she was still very Happy to get it so I am sure it'll work out OK for you ^_^

If you have any more questions I would be Happy to try and answer them for you ^_^

Just curious, did you happen to meet her parents when you came here? Is everything going well in that department?

No I did not meet her parents. Her mother had said she didn't want me to visit. Saying that I would be to much of a bother if I came and stayed at there home. Also she wanted my girlfriend to get a job just for two weeks so she could earn some extra money (Part of me thought this was just an excuse to keep me out) and I was right since after her mother told me ''No'' about visiting she never bothered my girlfriend again about having to go out and get a job.

So I had to come on my own to see her. I got on the train in Tokyo by myself. Took me about 4 hours to get there. I just stayed in a hotel, but she would come to visit me almost every day ^_^ Even if it was just for an hour. Somedays we could spend the whole day together ^_^

I did ask if she wanted me to meet her parents. She told me she didn't know..so I never did. I will meet them in the summer of 2007 with her so I'll just wait. We were both Happy seeing each other even though I was there in secret.

Why they didn't want to? I mean does they accept her relationship with you?

It'd be an occassion for both of you, you and her family to meet to see how's each other.

No you don't understand. Her family is very strickt. More so her mom then her father, and once her mother said that I would not be alowed to visit that was it. No if's and's or but's about it. If I were to come there she would have been very upset with my girlfriend for not doing what she was told. I'm sure she would have gotten over it but still I don't care if I see them or not. I got to see my girl a lot so that was Great ^_^

But don't get the wrong idea they do accept our relationship ^_^ They don't mind that I am an American or anything. Expect for the fact that I can be a bit forward at times. It's besides the point now anyways seeing as how she is comeing here to live so I can spend tons of time with her without them here ^_^ and I will go to finally visit them in person when my gilrfriend makes a return visit to see them so I will meet them eventually ^_^

dissapointment. sorry to say but there is a big risk that she wont make it to american when she has promised. the parents protection over thier children (daughter in perticular) are universal. i have a feeling that its going to end with you being hurt. and it wont be yours or her fault. there is just a chance that it could happen

... to make a good realationship with her parents.

Yes, they give to your girl the possibility for choise but they can keep some things from her.

In another case i saw a couple in which the parents of the girl said her to do whatever she wants , something similar to yours, and then they said her to not return back at home.

With that i mean you should care about speaking to them so that they understand. Show a good figure to them and try to make her mother understand you're not the type of person they think.

And remember to show respect to them, anyway they're your girl's parents, they're like your parents.

Don't get me wrong fokes I want a good relationship with her parents. Since day one I have been trying. I've sent multiple letters to them (wich my girlfriend has translated for me) talking to her mother mostly about my plans in life and giving information about myself. I have yet to recive a single reply. The first one I sent to her was about a year ago. I have since then sent three others. Her mother also has back problems so I sent her a really nice heating pad I had also sent to my girlfriend. She did verbaly say "Thank you" to my girlfriend for me but still no letter. She is, acording to my girlfriend extremly busy with her job and taking care of the home wich I understand. Still I have been giving her olive branch's for a while and still havn't gotten one back yet.

Yes I am concerned about her parents not letting her come..but with all the work they have done getting ready to send her off the odds are greatly in our favor that she will come here so I'm not as worried about that as I used to be ^_^ Even though I do still keep it in mind.

I know I need to meet her parents, but after there "no" to letting me visit and still visiting anyways I don't think that is the best way to go about seeing by doing whatever I want.

I'm almost 100% sure that she will be coming here this spring and after that I will go meet them and try to let them meet and understand me a little.

I'm still holding out my olive branch of peace for them..I'm just waiting to see if they will pick it up or not.

OK this question is mostly for the ladys out there (guys are welcome for the imput to on there girlfriends) But as far as Japanse younger women are concerned, are most of you worried about your weight to a serios degree?

My girlfriend seems to think that all Japanese girls weigh around 40kg's When I converted it and found out that that's only 88 pounds I was surprised! I mean I understand Japanese girls are of shorter height then most American girls but still 88 pounds?

Anyways my girlfriend is just a little taller then most (154cm) and she weighs a little more then her friends. But because of her height she looks fine to me. I think she is worried about this way to much. I've seen many women in my life, both a little heavy and very skinny and I think she's at the perfect weight. Not to skinny but not over weight. I still don't know how to convince her that she is absolutly fine with her current weight.

So ladys..

A: Do you worry about your weight a lot?

B: Whats the best way to convince my girlfriend that she isn't over weight?

Thanks again fokes

Dave

you ask questions you can also reply by yourself.

Many people want to lose weight in every place every country. If she believes she must lose some weight, why not?

It's up to her.

A: Do you worry about your weight a lot?

Yes I do! I know I should not but I worry!

B: Whats the best way to convince my girlfriend that she isn't over weight?

Tell her again and agauin that she is beautiful and mean it! Eventually she will at least believe you think so even if she does not believe it!

Unfortunately society is tougher on girls about size...I wish it was not.I think it would be better to be healthy and happy and not just fitting a set size.

my gf thinks shes fat but shes really not. She says she fat according to Japan standards.. but in America I'd say shes normal and healthy.. by that I mean, not overweight, and not bone skinny like some Japanese girls I have seen.

Thank you for your responses. to "by J" My girlfriend is exactly the same!! By Japanese standards she needs to lose maybe 5 more pounds to be like a normal girl. But she's taller then most by an inch or two and she is extremly small acording to american standards. I mean the girl wears a small size shirt and pants! I've had my arms wrapped around her and she is skinny as heck!

It is true she isn't as skinny as other Japanese girls but because of her height she fills out her body very very well so you she's not over weight at all.

But yeah I agree that postive re-inforcment is the best way..I don't seem to be getting anywhere..but I'll keep it up. The two things I tell her every day is "I love you" and "Your beutiful" and I mean both and she knows it. I have asked her "Do you think I am lieing to you when I say your not over weight?" She says "I know your not lieing but I just don't feel that way about myself"

I've checked her weight and she's almost underweight so..I don't know..I was looking for something to kind of jolt her out of her idea that shes fat. Yeah I agree..I hate the stupid media that says girls need to wear a certin size to be accepted. She feels that big time from her friends feeling a need to wear really cute clothes that are small.

But thanks for the hints I'll keep up the good working trying to let her see that she's perfectly OK with her curent weight.

Does anybody think it might be a good idea to talk with one of her friends about this kind of issue? Weight wise I mean. I have read on multiple articles that the best way to get to know someone is thru there friends. On my visit to see her I only met one of her friends. Her English was OK not great but enough to get the message acrossed. I think I should maybe talk with her a little to find out more about what is bugging my girlfriend. But I read on another post here that a guy talking to another girl in a friendly manner is looked down apon.

I don't know whether that is true or not. My girlfriend knows most of my friends from me telling her about them but she hasn't really asked to speak with either of them.

I would only hope my girlfriend dosn't feel jealous about me talking to her friend. She tells me a lot that her friends are a lot more attractive then she is. I look at her friends compaired to her and I just really don't see it..I tell her "Yes your friend is nice looking in her own way but your a thousand times more lovely then she is"^_^ As most of you know thats how I honestly feel about my girlfriend but she still has her mind pretty well set that there beutiful and she's normal.

Well as usual I'm rambling on. Any advice on wether or not I should ask for her friends email just to chat would be great ^_^

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE ^_^ It's also our (my girlfriend and I's) Anniversary So our Valentines Day was great!^_^ Even though were still far apart we had a great time together ^_^

There are a lot of sad hearts on this page..some trying to define there love, some trying to find it, others have it and might be loseing it, and others can't tell if they have love or not. Life can get as complicated as a rubix cube when love is thrown into the mix. I've heard more then a few people say "Is it worth it?" and the answer is a great big "YES" ^_^

Good luck all,
Dave

Well we just had our second official fight (wich is pretty good only one quarrel a year) She kind of chewed my head off for not being able to understand or know the pain she is in during "that time" Wich I thought was odd since just before that I was telling her how much I wish I could be there to comfort her.

Anyways needless to say I was feeling pretty bad. Then she disses me the entire day and in the late afternoon she comes back like nothing happened.

I was still upset about her chewing me out earlier and not talking it over afterwords, wich she could kind of tell I was feeling that way. Then she got upset and said she dosn't want to talk anymore today.

During "that time" is when I take care of her the most. I send her flowers (just pictures since it cost a fortune to send real ones to Japan) I talk with her as long as she wants, both on the phone and in emails. So to hear her make me sound like the worst guy out there concerning this made me feel pretty bad. I know some ladys need guys to be very understanding during that time, and every month I am the most understanding guy in the world.

So what do you think ladys? Do I just not get it and need to leave it be?

The last time she said she didn't want to talk she was crying for an hour so I don't know if I should just let her be the first to talk to me or if I should send her some flowers tommorow.

Thanks again fokes

Not everybody is rational all the time, Dave. Sometimes you just have to overlook certain things and move on.