Can I be close to my Japanese Girlfriend

Sorry I didn't notice your little post up there ^_^

Thank you for the information on you and your guy ^_^ It definitly sounds like you guys are pretty happily with each other. You've been together as a couple for a year and a half? You've got us beat haha ^_^ For us it's only been about 1 year and a few days as a couple ^_^ But I know how ruff the 4 months apart can be..but at least you had lots of visit's for more then a few days ^_^ I didn't even get to meet my girl in person for 10 months!! It was driving me crazy!

But that's wonderful to hear about how you and your guy are planning to get married later this year ^_^ Well wish from me to both you and him ^_^ SOrry to hear about the little complications that might be stoping you two a little..I know how those little problems can pop up =P But I think you guys can pull it off ^_^

About the problem I am having with her family..I almost feel like they are being a little selfish. I know some people will really disagree with me saying that. I do agree they want there daughter to be happy. That's why there sending her to the U.S. because that would make her happy. But..are you the only daughter in your family Japanese girl? My girl is so if your Japanese you know what they expect of her, and that's what causes us some problems in our future thinking. I do know (at least my girlfriend tells me) that her parents are aware that I love and care for her a great deal. They know this. My first letter I sent to them was filled to the brim with how much I care and love that girl..I don't know if it was to much or not. I can't write in Kanji so my girlfriend takes my english letters and translates them for me. I know it means more for me to write the letter myself and just give it to them but at the moment I can't. She read the first letter and said she loved it. She said it was sweet and made her happy ^_^ I asked how her mother (who really seems to run the house) felt after reading it. She said her mother didn't say a word. She just went away and read it and then gave it back to my girlfriend. After that letter her mother did start to write me a letter wich she has yet to finish. My girl read some of it and said some of it made her sad or upset..but who knows if her mothers feeling have changed over these many months. I even sent her mother a gift. She has back problems so I sent a heating pad I bought for my girlfriend. Her mother mentioned that she liked it and would like one. I bought another the very next day. Shipped it and I did (supposidly) get a ''Thank you'' for the gift. So I thought that helped a little.


But you made it sound like the letters are a good idea..I'll keep them up I guess ^_^ For ''White Day'' I'll be sending her family one more letter before there daughter leaves. Re-ashuring them that there daughter will be safe over here, and that i'll take care of her. I'm debating what to say in the letter thought..whether to stay conservative or pour my heart out how happy I am she'll be here and thank them for letting her come. Hmm..who knows haha.

Thanks for the well wishe's..your probably right that everything will work out. Maybe during the 4 year period (thats how long she will stay here for sure!) her parents will change there minds after a few visits ^_^

Thanks ^_^

Yeah, the language barrier can be troublesome at times, I get frustrated when I am trying my simplest to tell her something and she just doesn't understand, I give up feeling a little cheated that we didn't connect on that one subject. Face to face is a little easier because you can also use pantomimes.

Yeah exactly surfbeat. I knew you would know what I am talking about. It seems a little..mean of us to get frustrated like that. I mean..our girls are doing there very best to try and understand what we are saying ^_^ But I know what you are talking about. I always try my best to talk very very simple to her so she understands everything I say. Sometimes I make my words complicated on purpose to see if A: She understands or B: If she dosn't so I can explain to her. I enjoy teachering her knew words. I'm really good with definitions of complex ones. Just don't ask me to spell them haha.

Yeah I know how you feel though..when the simple point you were trying to make in your converstaion that she just didn't understand you finally say "don't worry it's not important" You feel bad like you failed and really wanted her to get what you were saying. But it's not so bad ^_^ Stay with her for longer and you'll get use to it and she'll learn English even more ^_^

Oh do you use pantomimes too? I use my hands a lot when talking with people. My dad is half deaf so I use it for him all the time. So in person I use it with her to get my point across. But hearing her sweet voice in person..definitly helped me understand what she was saying to me ^_^

I am finding that music, both western and Japanese rock/pop songs which tell of strong emotion are excellent for bridging the communication gap as well as learning romantic phrases! My fiance and I use music all the time to convey our most deep emotion when words won't suffice. Youtube is an excellent source of videos to share in Japanese and in english! When I am feeling some way and I want to make sure I convey the feeling I send a video link. Sometimes I will also look up translations online and send so that there is no doubt. It works for us and is worth a try. Not much more romantic than a serenade if you cannot be face to face!
:)

"Sometimes I will also look up translations online and send so that there is no doubt."
I had to laugh a little when you said this because it reminds me, my girl and I both have translation software on our computers that work good as long as you keep it to a word or two, but my little sweetheart will type up a long sentence, translate it to English, copy and paste it to eMail, and the translation make absolutely no sense at all, but I have to laugh, she really tries, I keep tell her: One word at a time please! Ha ha!!!

Absolutly Umi music works best ^_^ We both send music back and forth a lot to each other to convay emotions and of course just enjoy it. I like all music (excpet country) so the J-pop, rock, and slow songs that she sends sound great to me, and of course she knows most of the western music but I surprise her every now and then.

But that must be a little rough for you surfbeat..having to translate all the time like that. I know what you mean..I had a few pen pals who had to translate and it would just be confusing at times. But your girl can talk to you in English pretty well right? I am hopeing so ^_^ I got extremly lucky. When I met my J-girlfriend she had been studying English for 4 years. It was a little rough trying to talk but her letters and emails were great! and now her verbal skills are getting extremly high. Nothing complex but I can talk at full speed and she usually gets what I'm saying. Me being able to understand her Japanese on the other hand is a little more challenging hahaha.

But music..hmm..that gives me an idea..^_^

P.S. Yes I'll admit it..I have sang to her..^_^ I hate to do it (since my voice sounds terrible when I sing) but she loves it so I do.

P.P.S. She also sings to me ^_^ I have to beg her to do it though since she hates her voice and I love it to death haha.

My girl has sung to me many times over the phone, she even leaves messages on my voice mail with a song.
When she sings English songs, she trahes the words :) But when she sings in Japanese, it so beautiful!!!!!!

Your lucky surfbeat. I have to ask a million times to get her to sing a song. She thinks she sounds terrible so she dosn't like it. But WOW does she sing really well ^_^

But it's the same thing for me. She'll sing English songs a little off. But the Japanese songs she sings are sooo lovely. I have heard some of the original songs that she sings in Japanese she sounds much better then the orignal.

Now you've got me thinking about it..I'll have to ask her to sing on the phone tommorow haha ^_^

I have an internet phone so when she sings to me on my voice mail, I get the voice mail transfered to my computer via eMail, I download it and keep them all in my iTunes, I can listen to her sing anytime I want, even on my iPod.
Your girl is shy, that is really sweet, my gal isn't so shy, so she's always willing to sing to me on the phone.
When I go to Japan in April, I'm going to set up my camcorder and video tape her singing!!

That's great how you can get it on your computer like that. I have an internet phone too (thru yahoo) But there I don't think I can transfer any of her voice messages since there locked int he program.

But yes she is really shy..wich is very cute but that prevents her from singing to me. Definitly count yourself lucky that your girl likes to sing for you so much. We actually had to set up a rule between each other. For every song I sing she has to sing one back to me.

It's funny how we both dislike singing but we both enjoy each others singing so much haha. Compairing our voices mine sounds much worse then hers. Mine cracks a lot when I have to go to high. She knows i'm trying so she dosn't say anything. But I still do ti anyways just so I can hear her. Her reguler voice is soooo sweet..so when she sings it's like taking that sweet tone and ampliphing it by a hundread.

But when I am actually with her in person if I ask she sings without question. I think it has something to do with seeing me there in person enjoying it ^_^

I don't know about you surfbeat but April isn't coming soon enough haha ^_^

...I guess I'm really lucky then. When I met my girlfriend, she had been studying english for 10 years. But still, communication is hard. My girlfriend speaks enlgish very well but we sometimes have trouble expressing ourselves.

My girlfriend doesn't understand some of the more complex english words so I have to speak using more basic words. But sometimes I feel that I will never truly know her if we only speak in english because Japanese is her native language. And I think this is true.

I can speak a little Japanese and I try to talk to her in Japanese when ever possible. I love her so much but she really is a different person when she speaks in Japanese rather than English. She is much more outspoken and she has this confidence about her that she just doesn't have when she speaks in English. It just makes me love her more.

So Dave, If you have time mayebe try learning a bit of Japanese. It helps. You will no your girlfirend so much better and it will make your relationship so much stronger.

I couldn't agree with you more that learning Japanese so I can speak with my girlfriend would be a big boost for our relationship. Yes I currently am trying to pick up as much of it as I can through learning software on the computer. Dicitonaries, audio tapes, and of course her haha ^_^

The main reason I want to learn is to communicate with her. But it's also so that I can talk with her family. That would be a big help I think. So I am trying my best. I know a lot of the basics. But nothing to high up as far as skills. The struggle between language continues.

Seems like a very special month for many of us! I hope we all become so happy then! Of course for me May will be better as I will be a bride finally! I cannot wait!

Yeah that's true April is a very big month for more then a few people here. Congradulations on getting to be a bride in May. That's one thing I told my girlfriend was that I would love to see her in a wedding dress..at a later date of course but still I would like that very much. So I am sure you'll be happy then. I'll be extatic in April, and I know surfbeat will be happy as heck in April as well. Both he and I will be heading west or east depending on how you look at it. I'm just glad I don't have to go as far as he does..I couldnt' afford it haha. But I know he'll be happy in Japan, and I'll be Happy having my girl here with me ^_^

It's kind of funny..April is just a few weeks away..just long enough to make it seem far..just short enough to make it seem close. But I guess that's just how you feel when you miss your loved one. Even if there gone for just a day that feels like one day to many to you.

It is just far enough away that I wish it would hurry. I am fortunate however to be starting a very fun but hard work project which will keep me crazy busy until end of March and actually I am thinking of making my trip on 29/30 March! It will be even better! I will be working until 25th March so it will be 4 days of tortured boredom until the trip if I leave early...if not then it will be longer torture!

Yeah keeping busy is definitly a good thing in my book. I use to have school to keep my mind occupied. But it's so hard to get a job over here that I have too much time on my hands. That definitly makes the days seem longer at least in my opinion.

But 4 days dosn't sound so bad ^_^ Of course once it gets within a few days of me being able to see my girl I'll start to go insane as well haha. Hope the project keeps you busy enough and that 4 days will be all you have to deal with ^_^

If there is someone here who is trying to email me I don't have a translater so I can't read the Japanese at all. I posted my email address so I am guessing someone is trying to get a hold of me since my emails do the same thing (translate the kanji into weird symbols) when my girlfriend emails me things in Japanese.

http://translate.google.com/translate_t

Well I finally got it out of her (in a way). I told my girl I was writing one last letter to her mother and father to thank them for letting her come over to the U.S. in a few months. I also told them that she will be safe and I'll add my voice to her school and host family that I'll help keep her that way.

I told my girl that I wrote that letter..she said "Thank you" to me and that she would translate it so they can read it. Wich she followed by saying "My dad won't read it" wich is normal he didn't read most of my other ones. But she then said "I'm not sure my mom will read it either.."

That gives me a pretty good hint that her mother and father don't like me, and or don't approve of my dateing there daughter. I mean it's just a simple letter only two pages long. I don't know why they wouldn't read it unless if they just didn't care.

Her mother also seriosly cut into our normal talk time that we have every day. I have no idea why she suddenly did that. I can't really complain though..our 4 hours was just cut down to 2 haha ^_^ and she hasn't been denied email usage on her cell.

Still it dosn't look to good for me. I'll just have to wait when we both make a return visit to Japan to see them. I'll see if meeting me physically has any effect on changing there minds.

just out of curiosity, why on earth do you need to write a letter to her parents? she's already going to america, what more do you need? what kind of guy writes a 2 page letter to the parents of the girlfriend? if i were her parents, you'd strike me as weird and obsessive. save all this parent stuff until the day you decide to get hitched. just take it easy and casual, remember, its only a girlfriend, they come and go.