Dear visitor, if you know the answer to this question, please post it. Thank you!

Note that this thread has not been updated in a long time, and its content might not be up-to-date anymore.

Talking to a girl just as a friend 2014/6/16 04:40
Hi.

I've contacted a penpal who's female, and I'm male. However, I'm not looking for a relationship, but neither is she. I'm just worrying that she might get the wrong idea as she knows I'm a boy. I'm also worried that if I ever go to Japan and meet her and her family they will think it's a bit weird for whatever reason.

Do Japanese girls hang out with boys often? Or is it weird for the genders to mix? Hopefully it's OK. I'll probably go about contacting a boy as well.

So, what do you think? Is it weird, or shall I not care?
by Robosparks  

Re: Talking to a girl just as a friend 2014/6/16 08:54
When I was in Japan, I met my boyfriends friends and there was always boys and girls so i think your fine. But if for some reason she might show you signs she is interested in you in that way then I think you should correct her asap. But girls and boys can definitely just be friends so don't worry about it too much. I had male penpals before and it didn't end up in romance.
by Zigzag (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: Talking to a girl just as a friend 2014/6/16 14:05
I like gender mix friendship. Make sure you and the girl keep in touch as a penpal friendship.
I believe girls won't contact you if they don't like you. My recommendation is keep good and fair friendship as friends.
by tokyo friend 48 rate this post as useful

Re: Talking to a girl just as a friend 2014/6/16 19:05
I'm not looking for a relationship, but neither is she. I'm just worrying that she might get the wrong idea as she knows I'm a boy.

I'm not sure if I understand the situation. Why would she "get the wrong idea" when you know she's not "looking for a relationship"?

You should make it clear that this is going to be a friendship and not romance. That's what I do, and successful am I. (By the way, many Japanese people may not be familiar with the meaning of "relationship" so use words like "romantic relationship".)

As long as you make things clear, I'm sure you will be alright. As for others, if you are often together being just the two of you, some may think you are "more than friends". But friendship between one boy and one girl do commonly exist in Japan too. I'm a Japanese woman and I've gone out with "just a friend" friends of the opposite gender and greeted neighbors I bumped into on the streets. No problem.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: Talking to a girl just as a friend 2014/6/21 22:47
I would say that the only things that would make her think otherwise are:

1. If she is lying when she says she's not looking for a relationship.

or

2. Correspondance from you sound flirtatious.

Otherwise, if she is telling the truth, there should not be a problem.
by Mra (guest) rate this post as useful

reply to this thread