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How to thank after stay? 2014/6/17 17:43

I will be going to Japan with my boyfriend and we will stay at his mums place she probably would like to give us privacy so she will go to stay at her daughters place.

I feel so bad that she needs to leave her big house but she decided she wants us to stay there. I don't mind if she stays with us, it's her house anyway. So should I feel bad about this?

Second question. After the trip how can I thank her for her generosity? I was thinking to thank her and her family by saying few words in Japanese (I speak 0 Japanese) Also, I was thinking to buy her a present?

I will get present for everyone when I arrive but should I give another one specially for her?
by Sia (guest)  

Re: How to thank after stay? 2014/6/17 19:01
Do you mean that your boyfriend's mother usually lives in this big house all by herself? If so, yes, a special gift for her would be appropriate A) because you will be using her water, gas and electricity and B) because she is the parent of your dear man. If you're meeting your boyfriend's father, you might want to give him something special too.

It would also be a nice gesture to send a short thank you card (of paper and not email) after you go home. You can have your boyfriend translate it for you.

But the best thing you can do is to keep the house clean and tidy. If the mother is letting you use the washing machine, wash, dry and fold the sheets you both used. If you aren't washing them, you should fold everything neatly and pile them at the corner of the room. Needless to say, all the dishes you used should be washed and put away, but some extra polishing of water stains may give a better impression ;)
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: How to thank after stay? 2014/6/17 19:04
- I don't know how long your stay in her house will be, and how big the house is, but if that's the situation, if I were in your shoes I would suggest to the boyfriend to get a hotel room for ourselves, and just visit her in her home :)

- If you do stay in her house, I would give her a present, yes, and a written thank-you card as well.
by AK rate this post as useful

Re: How to thank after stay? 2014/6/17 19:16
Thank you for your reply! We will stay there 3 weeks but we will spend few days traveling. His father past away so it's just his mum living in the house/temple.

Would you have any gift suggestion? I would definitely keep the house nice and tidy but I know my partner would like to spend alone time with his mum/siblings because they see only once a year, where could I go during this time? I want them to feel that they are allow to spend as much time as they like with their sibling/son.
by Sia (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: How to thank after stay? 2014/6/17 19:17
By the way we will definitely pay "rent" and fill her fridge during our stay, even tho she have not asked us.
by Sia (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: How to thank after stay? 2014/6/17 23:45
Oh, it's a temple! That makes sense.

So I'm guessing that his mum or he is insisting on you staying at this specific house, because it's a unique house. But then, his mum is practicle enough to assume that she will have to play the role of the hostess if she stays with you (while trying to speak English), so she must have figured that it's better to stay with her daughter while leaving some privacy for the couple.

So roughly, where is this house located? You can go anywhere by yourself, I suppose, but it would be best if you could provide us with more info on that.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: How to thank after stay? 2014/6/19 18:01
@Uco, his mum just got over cancer and she's old so I don't think she want to be the host and I really don't mind and don't want her to be stressed, but I understand that's how you usually treat guest but I feel being someways a bit rude because she "needs" to stay at her daughter place but I want her to spend some alone time with her son.

She lives an hour away from Osaka in a rural area, her husband passed away so she lives there by herself and her 2 other kids lives with their families near by.

And by the way, she usually takes care of her daughters kids 9yo and 14yo during the time the mum is working.
by Sia (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: How to thank after stay? 2014/6/19 18:27
You can tell your boyfriend and his mother about your feelings and see what she says.
by Uco rate this post as useful

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