does my trip plan looks fine?

forgive me for the bad english
me and my friend are planing a travel to japan. we alredy have tickets from 2th september to 6th auctober.
its our first time in japan and i took all the information from the internet. so i need someone to tell me this plan make sense. and if it dosent, please tell me if you have any sugestions.
we have a friend living near tokyo so we can sleep in his house in the days when we travel near tokyo

day 1: flight to narita tokyo
day 2: arriving to narita tokyo, doing a littel walk to meet tokyo.
days 3, 4 - tokyo city.
day 5 - activating JR PASS and travel to fuji mt. accending fuji mt. and sleeping near the peak.
day 6 - watch the sunrise from the peak of fuji and then decending from the mountain, if we have time, we travel some time in one of fuji 5 lakes and then take the train back to tokyo to sleep at our friend house.
day 7 - train to yudanaka station in nagano and visiting Jigokudani - the monkey park. sleeping in nagano.
day 8 - traveling to kamikochi through matsutomo. sleeping in kamikochi.
day 9 - hiking to karasawa hut. spending the night over there.
day 10 - hiking back to kamikochi. sleeping in kamikochi.
day 11 - train to kyoto.
days 12, 13,14, 15 - kyoto
day 16 - train to hiroshima. park of peace.
day 17 - miyajima.
day 18 - train to kagoshima and ferri to yakushima. sleeping there. end of the JR PASS
day 19, 20, 21 - yakushima
day 22 - ferri to kagoshima
day 23 - kagoshima
day 24 - flight to okinawa from kagoshima.
days 25, 26, 27, 28 - okinawa
day 29 - flight to tokyo.
days 30, 31, 32 ,34 - tokyo
day 35 - flight back home

how dose it soundes like?

Guess No big advantege using 14D JR-Pass plan.
Order one way long JR "base fare" ticket NRT to Kagoshima
via Shiojiri(naer Matsumoto) and Kanayama(near Nagoya) : about 18000Y
(10 days validity with unlimited stop over possibele if no route back/No include LtdExp train fee)
(not include Otsuki - Kawaguchiko and Shiojiri - Matsumoto/Kamikochi rail sections)

And stay Kyoto 3days first before Hiroshima is not good for saving money.
Visiting Kyoto is after Okinawa via KIX(not Tokyo) on weekday by cheap air back.
Afrer KIX by ordering one way long JR base fare ticket KIX to NRT(via Kyoto include)
if budget enough left take a fastest Shinkansen "Nozomi" seat fee plus.

roughly map:
http://i.imgbox.com/LW48BNNx.png

However,basically around Sep are tyhoon season sometimes larger one acrossJapan
especially strong winds damaged wide and make flight/ferry cancel whole day usual.
Watch carefully weather info. Temp are comfortable mostly no problem for climbing/hiking.

I agree with the above person.

To travel on shinkansen you need two tickets. The ticket to get you from Tokyo all the way to the other end. Plus the top up price to use the high speed Shinkansen trains.

For the first, just buy a Tokyo to Fukuoka ticket. Since the distance is far, you are permitted to stop anywhere along the way as long as you do not detour or back track. (E.g. After going to Osaka, you cant head back to Kyoto)

For the second ticket, you have to buy individual shinkansen tickets from Tokyo to Fuji, Fuji to Nagoya, Nagoya to Kyoto, Kyoto to Hiroshima, Hiroshima to Fukukoka.

If this does not make any sense to you, just buy the JR Pass. It will save you time and trouble but not money.