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referring to yourself 2015/9/14 16:53
If I am calling someone on the telephone and want to identify myself as *(my child's name's)* mother, how would I identify myself?
by menj (guest)  

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/14 18:57
If I am calling for the first time (meaning they have not heard your family name before), I would probably say:
- "(My family name) to moushimasu, (child's given name) no haha desu." (This is XXX. YY's mother.)
by ... (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/14 18:58
your child name の母です
xxxxxxxx no haha desu.

it is better to tell the child full name to clarify the name
for example, if your child is Tanaka Taro,
Tanaka Taro no haha desu.

is that OK ? or I misunderstand ?



by ken (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/14 21:27
Moshi moshi, XXX no okasan desu
by tokyo friend 48 rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/14 22:29
I agree with Ken (this time ;)).

"Moshi moshi, Tanaka Taro no haha desu." is the most common way to express yourself, whether you are calling your child's school or your child's friend's home.

Moshi moshi, XXX no okasan desu

If you are talking to a very small child (such as a pre-schooler) that would be appropriate too, but not to an adult!
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/14 22:36
You should never use SAN for yourself .
OKAASAN is used when someone else calls you.
Watashi wa XXX no hahaoya desu.
by hamagirl (guest) rate this post as useful

Just to clarify 2015/9/15 00:27
Children as young as 4 or 5 years old can answer phones but sometimes do not understand words like "haha" or "haha-oya." So when speaking to small children, adults call themselves "so-and-so's okaasan/otousan desu." We don't do that when speaking to adults. By the way, I prefer the word "haha" rather than "haha-oya."
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/15 02:05
XX no okasan desu sounds ok to me if you are a foreigner.
It sounds strange if you are a native Japanese.
by tokyo friend 48 rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/15 06:49
To clarify, I meant if I am talking to an adult.

I learned about using haha vs. okaasan, so I felt I shouldn't say okaasan when referring to myself, but when I came to Japan, I was so surprised to hear okaasan being used all the time, and I never ever heard anyone say haha except reading ads during Mother's Day in which I always see Haha no Hi. So I felt uncomfortable saying haha, half-wondering if I was using a seemingly (to me) "outdated" word, even though I know it is not.

Would it sound weird if I use mama? I think I hear some kids using the term mama, so would that be okay to use? ...... *****-chan no mama desu.
by menj (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/15 09:11
It's alright to say "XXX no mama desu" or "XXX no okasan desu" unless they are a teacher at school.
If he/she is a teacher at school, say "XXX no haha desu".
Using "haha" sounds very fomal way. It's too formal in term of every day communication.
by tokyo friend 48 rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/15 09:41
Thanks, so one more time to clarify, if it is a teacher/staff at school, it is NOT good at all to say ****-chan no mama desu. It is better to say ****-chan no haha desu. Is that correct? Or is it still acceptable to say mama?
by menj (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/15 09:46
I'm a mother of a grown person. It's not uncommon to refer to yourself as "mama/okaasan" when talking casually among mom-friends you know well.

Also, since you had just started to learn Japanese, perhaps people used the term "mama/okaasan" in front of you since they are easier words than "haha."

But I've never heard anyone refering to themselves as "mama/okaasan" over the phone when they are talking to me for the first time. You should say "haha" and there is nothing odd at all about it.

You also shouldn't add "-chan/san" to your family member's name when talking to someone outside your family. Again, when talking to small children, it's common to say "xxx-chan no mama yo." and so on, but when talking to adults it would be very odd. You should say "Tanaka Taro no haha desu." and not "Taro-chan no haha desu."

The only people who said things like "xx-kun no haha desu." were my non-Japanese friends, which was cute in its own way.
by Uco rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/15 19:24
a conversation starts from student's mother (you) to school teacher.
you start the conversation from a lower position to a higher position person. in this case. use "haha", because it is formal, as tokyo friends said. and also, you should not use -san/-chan to your child name.
-san is used to make it polite. if you use -san to your child, it means you use a polite word to your child (not to a teacher).

in Japan, people use "position" instead of "name", to identify a person. in this case, your position is "haha".
teachers may not memorize parents names.

"mama" is a child word for calling mother.
"mama" can be used when you (speaker) make yourself show childish to others.(if you use "mama", you looks childish.)

if you speak to your child or your child friends of similar ages,
you may use "xxxxx-chan no okaasan (mama) desu".
if you speak to your child friend's parents (adult),
you should use "xxxxxxx no haha desu."
in the former, you speak at the same position of the child.
in the latter, you speak at the same position of the parents (adult).

if you use the former expression to adults, it means that you are a child and a child speaks to an adult.
by ken (guest) rate this post as useful

Re: referring to yourself 2015/9/15 22:22
Got it! This is all very helpful. Thank you to everyone.
by menj (guest) rate this post as useful

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