Japanese mealtimes

I come from an upbringing where for mealtimes we were what I would consider the complete opposite of traditional Japanese dining. One big white round plate where we would plop all the food: rice, meat, veggies. Soup bowl if necessary. The less dishes to wash, the better. No thought to dish design/shape and food harmony. Once a week getting groceries if possible to minimize shopping.

Having come here, I initially didn't care for all the fuss I felt was expected of me having to prepare meals. But little by little, I started getting used to it and am beginning to appreciate all the fine details. Now, I find that when I am shopping, I am starting to keep an eye out for pretty dishes to buy. I also find that, when I am preparing more casual meals for just me and my children (when other family members are not home at the time) I sometimes "can't" plop all the food on one plate anymore because it just doesn't "feel right" anymore and I start using more dishes to separate the food. However, I do find that it sure makes for more dishwashing which I don't really want to spend the time on. Especially since we don't have a dishwasher.

I am wondering what Japanese families (particularly with children) do for their dinners. (More children = more busy, less time!) Do they use separate dishes for each of their side dishes (rice, meat/fish, vegetables, etc)? And pay attention to using a variety of dish design and shape and size and all that? And have the time to wash all the dishes!? Or is this just the impression given because that's what you find at Japanese style restuarants, whereas in Japanese homes, they do it much more simpler?

How often do they go shopping? Is it more like once a week, twice a week, or practically every day to get the freshest food?

Even though I am slowly getting used to it, it still gives me a headache EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. trying to manage the meals.

Rice bowl and chopsticks are indivisual use, the other dishes are mostly shared.

For shopping, some family goes to grocery stores every day for discouted shopping, some family goes 2-3 times a week.

FYI, am a male gaijin, living with Japanese wife, kids and Japanese MIL. MIL do most of the cooking and grocery.

Why would you care so much about having to prepare a meal according to Japanese style if you are not Japanese ?

Unless you are married to a Japanese (or staying with Japanese in laws) and who are fussy about it, you are the 'Mitress/Master' of the kitchen so do whatever you see fit.

Most Japanese family household serve dishes in individual dish to each person, so if you have 3 dishes, then it will be 3 x dish plus rice and soup bowl for each member. Again it depend on what dishes you cook, some dishes can be serve on one dish were everyone share it.

As for shopping, most housewife tend to do grocery shopping daily. Unless their doing part time work. The good thing bout daily shopping is that you can vary your cooking, and also adjust it to what is on sales.
Again wife and MIL do grocery shopping everyday because we stay near to the supermarket.

A cooking book that have recipes menu for 365 days will come in handy to decide what for menu today.

So that how I see it from a gaijin male married/living with Japanese family.

Yes, although I am not Japanese, I do live with Japanese family members. But you do bring up a point: there is no MIL living with us, so I guess that must be it. MIL isn't here to help with any of the mealplanning, grocery shopping, cooking, and/or washing dishes. All the burden currently falls upon me.

Is the tradition of living with in-laws still very strong among the younger generation starting families or is the pattern starting to change where young couples want to live on their own?

Examples of plates for toddlers
https://www.google.co.jp/search?q=%E5%AD%90%E4%BE%9B%E7%94%A8%E3%81%AE...

Examples of the trendy "cafe-gohan" meals
https://www.google.co.jp/search?q=%E5%AD%90%E4%BE%9B%E7%94%A8%E3%81%AE...

Examples of the traditional "oo-zara-ryouri" big-bowl meals
https://www.google.co.jp/search?q=%E5%AD%90%E4%BE%9B%E7%94%A8%E3%81%AE...

And, of course, the season for nabe-ryouri has arrived
https://www.google.co.jp/search?q=%E9%8D%8B%E6%96%99%E7%90%86&hl=ja&rl...

So not all households serve all meals using individual little bowls. And dish-washing is one of the most major chores for kids. Also, couples today often take turns washing dishes.

As for shopping, if you only go shopping once a week, you'll need a car and a big fridge. But if you go to the market on your way home from work, or while taking your kids or pets for a walk, that's good exercise.

But then, a lot of people use takuhai food service such as Coop, Radish-boya and Daichi, which also specialize in ecology-conscious foods. I guess a lot of people keep frozen food for "emergency" and go buy something fresh a couple of times a week.

TV shows keep on introducing preservable food. My mother and grandmothers used to keep them in pretty containers so that they could be served on the table for us to help ourselves to our individual main-dish plates.

I think these issues are usually one of the major topics discussed among mom friends. You should also watch "Asa-ichi." It will help you improve your Japanese skills.
https://www.nhk.or.jp/asaichi/cooking/index.html

Staying with MIL or in laws can be good or bad depending on situation. It a universal thingy and most wifes would not want MIL in their kitchen unless they are in good term.

In your case since you "own" and run the kitchen, you do whatever you see fit. Rope in your family member in the housework.

Shopping frequencies for grocery again depend on your convenience and accessibility.

Second on Uco san suggestion on ASA-ICHI. You may learn a pointer or two.