Cancelling wife`s dependant visa

Dear friends,

I am stuck up in a mental trauma caused by my wife.
She has started blackmailing and abusing after we gave birth to our kid last year.
There is no way I have been doing any wrong thing to her but in fact I am managing all the financial responsibilities along with house work. day by day she is taking her hand out of house work as well, and I have really a big pressure of managing the job and house work along with baby care too.
She thinks that, I am going to take more and more responsibility m the more she does like this, just to save the relationship.
I did the way she thought since this last 1 and half year just looking at our 1.5 yrs old baby,
But now I am fade up of all this and can not continue as she can`t even spare the kid. she abuses and harasses baby as well.

I have to file divorce case in my country not in Japan, which I am planning to do so in few months owing to few complications involved. Is there any way for me to contact my country`s embassy here in Japan or Japan`s immigration department to register a case and get her visa cancelled ( even if I don`t have her passport or resident card handy ) ?
(FYI, she has got hold of her passport and firmly saying she wont return it neither I should cancel her visa, last whole year almost everyday she used to abuse and say lets get divorced but does not intend to give divorce to me, just wants to threaten and get all her demands approved with I taking all responsibilities. Her parents back home are also aware of her behavior and exhausted all the ways to let her understand her mistakes, and tell me they are helpless to stop her . )
Please help me :-(

I am sorry for your situation. Hopefully it will work out ok for all of you.

Is there any way for me to contact my country`s embassy here in Japan or Japan`s immigration department to register a case and get her visa cancelled ( even if I don`t have her passport or resident card handy ) ?

If she is abusing you and your baby you should contact the police. Otherwise, the best course of action may be to seek a divorce. Once that is finalized you must update immigration about your status. They may choose to cancel her visa or not. It is not up to you.

(FYI, she has got hold of her passport and firmly saying she wont return it neither

As is firmly her right.

When does your wife's status expire? Presumably, in order to extend it she will need some paperwork for you, you can just refuse to provide it.

Well, that may be a possibility but probably not the most prudent way to go especially if you actually want to get a divorce. It does not guarantee that your wife will have to leave the country (she could always apply for residency and probably has a good case for LTR), and might be able to make it very difficult for you to get a divorce.

Dear yllwsmrf,

Thanks for quick help. You rightly pointed out my limitations until i get divorced.
I am not saying she is completely ignorant and not good towards our kid, she takes care of him many times but she is not emotionally stable and when she gets angry she behaves bad with kid as well as me. her parents back home also are frustrated with this attitude of hers and though they want to help it looks they too are helpless.
But I am not sure if this behavior of hers was there since her childhood, one of her brother admits that she has been adamant since her childhood and do not think of _anybody_ when it comes to her own choices. so be it her father, mother, kid she do not care if they get harassed or pissed off. So as a husband I am just 4 yrs with her. How can she think about me.

If I have given the documents for visa, I should have equal right to take a decision on the visa. But technically i think it is not possible.

Dear Firas,
We just extended our status of residence last year and now she has visa until 2020. I think that is what has caused her to behave like this. she might have studied all these things, as her brother back home also says that, she is doing all this very per-planed. So from his perspective she is not emotionally unstable but she is extra cunning.
Every day she threatens me that, she will take away the kid from me( by giving me divorce) but in actual she don`t want to give divorce as she is not completely independent and `needs` me to continue her good lifestyle she is living right now in japan , which she can`t if she gets divorced.

Currently she is in our home country and I have asked her brother to not to send her here for few days, he himself had admitted that if he fails to do that, this cycle will go on and relationship will end. but now brother is also in a tense situation at their home along with her parents as she is so adamant that its creating a havoc in their home too. so I am not sure if they will keep her with them for longer period.
But I am damn sure if she joins me here again in japan, the kid is going to get sandwiched in-between and the relationship too , as I can`t just have a dialog with her on any topic, she just wants her thoughts to prevail.

Divorce laws in my home country are so pro-women that no matter how good one treats his wife, if wife goes to police and files a complaint that husband did domestic violence, police do not need any proof and directly arrest husband or his parents just on a oral complaint!
I did not know this before marriage and now knowing this slowly.... I wont have married if I knew this earlier.
Option left with me is just to sit calm and do nothing, and end of the day file a divorce case and wait for to get out of it, knowing 99.99% I am going to get harassed in the divorce procedure as well.

If your wife is really abusing your kid (doesn't matter if she's good at times) you need to contact the police. Kids die every day being abused.

You also need to get a lawyer ASAP. Asking lay people here is not going to help you.

Doesn't sound like it's clear that it rises to the level of abuse, but if you think it is then you should definitely contact the police. And it sounds like whatever you do you're in for a long and drawn out divorce fight. Definitely look into getting yourself some sound legal advice. Check with your local city hall or ward office, they often have free legal advice workshops for foreigners or can direct you to a local attorney.

A few more comments:

Sounds like If I have given the documents for visa, I should have equal right to take a decision on the visa. But technically i think it is not possible.

No, it is not possible and would frankly be a terrible system ripe for abuse. Your involvement ends when you provide the documents. After that it is an issue between your wife and immigration. Her residency status is hers after that.

So from his perspective she is not emotionally unstable but she is extra cunning.

Sounds more like your wife may need help, but nothing is going to change unless she recognizes this herself.

Divorce laws in my home country are so pro-women that no matter how good one treats his wife, if wife goes to police and files a complaint that husband did domestic violence, police do not need any proof and directly arrest husband or his parents just on a oral complaint!

That is not divorce law. Where are you from?

Dear Tokyonet,
Yes i understand that talking to lawyer is best option.
I have already discussed the case with my local lawyer in my country and he asked me to stay calm for few days and then file divorce in my home country. So i am just following his advice. but it was assumed that she does not come to Japan, but from the events those are happening, its now evident that she will, so now I need to find a legal advice in Japan too.
I will check with ward office and or immigration too for any such help.

Dear yllwsmrf,
Thanks for your suggestions as well.
Yes my wife is not emotionally stable sometimes and she hurts kid too in `that` period. I have already raised alarm to her family who knows now this better but I am not sure what they are actually doing to stop all this as their actions do not look promising even though they accept she is at fault.
So as you said , nothing is going to change unless she recognizes this herself.

Anyways thanks for your advices, will try to get legal help locally.