Is daily yochien attendance important?

My child goes to the local Japanese public kindergarten. She currently attends every day and is currently on the allergy menu list. However, I am thinking of changing that in the near future.

Would it be strange/rude/frowned upon if, in the near future, instead of dealing with the allergy menu hassles, I instead just simply have her not attend the kindergarten on those days that serve the foods I don't want her to eat? It would be anywhere from roughly 2 to 6 times per month, usually about 3 times. I am thinking I won't even explain this to the school, so they won't even know, so it should be okay? Or will they question why she's suddenly having more absenteeisms? Is it better to get their "permission" to do this first?

It's basic courtesy to at least let them know in advance when she will not attend.

Oh, I wasn't clear enough ..... Yes, of course, I intend to let them know in advance of each of the days when she won't come to yochien.

But even if I inform the school prior to each day she is absent, would it be acceptable to pull her out a few times every month? Would this be unacceptable in Japanese custom? Or okay because it's just kindergarten?

Then I don't see any problem; yochien is not compulsory education. You may still want to discuss it with them, though, to see if they have some particular policy about absences. You need not be specific about the reason (and I don't think they will ask), just ask what happens if your daughter does not attend for some reason (you can give as an example a day where you have some unspecified business to do with your daughter).

What happens on those days currently? Is it that you tick the food that your daughter cannot eat, and the kindergar‚”en simply refrains from serving that food to her, or do you have to put together a home-made lunch box for her instead?

If it is the former, I would find it... somewhat puzzling, if not rude, if you have her not attend, because currently the kindergarten is taking care not to serve that food to her, and if you did that, that sort of negates what they are doing, or it would look like you don't trust them. I admit it IS a serious health concern, of course, though.

Also what would your daughter feel about it? Would she not miss going on those days, if she has good friends at the kindergarten, or feel more left out not going than going but not eating the same food as others?


Kindergarten is not compulsory, so it is "OK," but as Firas mentioned, I would discuss with them. I would actually give the reason (I still don't know the "hassle," though) to see if something can be worked out.

Oh, okay, thanks. I had presumed kindergarten is not compulsory, but I wasn't sure if taking many days off would be alright, but seems like it should be okay then. I suppose I'll discuss it with them in order to find out if there is an absence policy (that's a good point you mention that I hadn't thought about) but I am still debating whether or not to tell them the reason though.

This year the kindergarten staff completely changed, and they are being much more strict than last year's staff, causing a number of little problems too detailed to mention here but accumulated, it all adds up to being a very annoying inconvenience. (By the way, I'm supposed to bring a substitute for the main allergy food item, but rather than keeping the setup the same way as last year which worked perfectly fine, they had to go and mess it up all up for me so that it is much more troublesome now.) We've already had meetings to discuss the matter and they are keeping their stance, so I know they are not willing to work it out with me.

That's a good point you bring up about how my daughter will feel about it. I think she'll be okay staying at home with me on those days. Part of my issue with the whole allergy thing is that feeling of being left out, not getting to eat the same thing as everybody else. Last year minimized that feeling of being left out, but this year will make my daughter feel even more left out, so I am not happy about that at all.

Anyway, thanks for discussing it with me as you both were helpful in bringing up important points to consider.

menj,

Thanks for letting us know your situation - OK, so it's the kindergarten staff this year who unfortunately changed things and made it troublesome for you - then they'll probably "know" why your daughter might be taking days off, and that should be OK with them, as long as your daughter feels OK about it :) .

Thanks AK!

sound like that the new staffs are troublesome for you.
but, from the standing point of the staffs, you are a troublesome.
generally speaking, rules in PUBLIC schools, including Kindergartens, are not determined by staffs. probably, the new rules are introduced this year. they can't return to the old rules.

Oh yes Ken, I agreee, from the kindergarten staffs' point of view, I probably AM troublesome. And I completely understand that they have to be strict out of a fear of repercussions if a serious allergic reaction were to happen (although not in our case, since my daughter does not need an epipen since she does not have a true allergy according to the blood tests -- and they already know that.) I recognize that they are only following the rules, so that's why I am trying to solve the problem by simply removing my daughter from the kindergarten on those days when I don't want her to eat the offending foods.

I don't understand exactly what you are saying.
"she does not have a true allergy according to the blood tests"
it means she does not have an allergy disease medically ? (you believe she is allergy.)
or the real allergens are not proved (discovered) medically ? (she has allergy reactions.)

You're not the only one who wouldn't understand what I'm saying. Even most of the conventional doctors that I've gone to so far do not yet fully understand either, which makes for a very frustrating experience!

Food allergy involving IgE is an immune response and has to do with anaphylaxis and an epipen is used in these cases. Food sensitivity is also an immune reaction that is usually delayed and that may involve IgG. My child tested negative for both of these blood tests.

Then there is food intolerance which is not an immune response but can be an inability to normally digest certain food components. This is what my daughter is dealing with. When she eats certain foods, she will get "allergy" symptoms. So it's not a "true" (i.e., immune response) allergy, but I can't seem to explain it to most people here, so I always revert back to just saying that she has an "allergy."